TNG Caption This! 300: Captain, we're passing 300 contests!

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to this Milestone! TNG Caption This has reached 300 contests! WOW! More on how we'll be celebrating later, but first...

First up to the plate, we have the "Go home and think up a Romulan character you can play, Denise!" Award, going to:

Stewart: Denise, it's been a year. We know you regret leaving but turning up on set in costume every day in the hope of getting your job back... it's sad.

Next, we have the "Sounds like a prelude to Red Alert" Award, going to:

Picard: You have the bridge Counsellor Troi, and may God help us all!

Next, we have the "Blast from the past, followed by bat'leth wounds" Award, going to:

Geordi: "Earth's 1960s called. They want their women's hair style back."

Next, we have the "Yeah, but was it an accident?" Award, going to:

Troi suddenly realizes she left Wesley locked in the car.

Next, we have the "Monty Picard and the Holy Data" Award, going to:

Edo God: Data...DATA...Oh don't grovel, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's androids groveling!

Picard: Sorry.

Edo God: And don't apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it's "Sorry" this, and "Forgive me" that, and "I'm not worthy..." What are you doing now?!?

Geordi: I'm averting my VISOR, my lord.

Edo God: Well don't! It's like those miserable Edo. They're so depressing. Now knock it off!

Our Photoshop award, goes to:

Rest assured I will find out what you are all snickering at!

Picard: Yes, haha, very funny. Now who painted the exact picture of my ready room on the door?

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners!

And now, our 300th contest!

I was originally going to make this a super-sized single contest, with one image from each season of TNG, but then I had another idea, this milestone is big enough to warrant a celebration that goes further than just this week.

For the next 7 weeks, I will choose an episode from each season and we will make our way through the series!

For the first season, I have a hard time choosing anything but "Where No One Has Gone Before" to represent it. We explore the farthest reaches of the universe and send Picard on a turbolift of doom!

Let us begin!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Okay, so why don't we just get personal pizzas since we can't decide on anything?

Picard: (thinking) I could have been a ballerina...

Crusher: Jean-Luc, whatever this patients problem is, I don't care. This is a seriously bad hair day!

Picard: I see that we have no choice, Number One. Fine, I will never eat another burrito again.

Worf was more scared of children than Picard.

 

[Ln X]

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Picard: All in favour of kicking Kosinski out of the nearest airlock say aye.
All: 'aye'

Picard: (thinking) If were a girl I would have picked ballet... sigh...

Beverly: Our traveller is suffering from chronological hetrocyclical aphasis... chronological heterocycli- chronolog- Argh! Well he's suffering from something anyway!

Worf: Muffy!?! My pet tagh? What are you doing here?

 

[Triskelion]

Happy 300 Leadhead! TFTPSW~!

Picard: Number One. Is my hand submersed in a jug of warm water?
Data: Negative Captain, it is the collected runoff of -
Riker: Data! Yes sir. Water, sir.
Picard: Mister Data, do you concur?
Data: Yes sir. Technically primarily water, sir.

Picard: Computer, location of Counselor Troi?
Computer: Counselor Troi is not aboard ship.
Picard: Heh heh heh.

Riker: I still can't tell if she's wearing a bra. Computer, increase humidity level by ten more percent.

Crusher: Why the damn is it so hot in here???

Number One, there is a Klingon on my bridge.

Yes sir. Commander Worf, sir. You assigned him as relief flight control and tactical officer.

Then you weren't just making up crewmen for a drinking game?

Sir?

Tell me you didn't assign us a telepathic head shrinker and a blind engineer!

Worf: Lieutenant Worf, reporting for duty sir.

Picard: I'll enter your duty into the log with the rest of the regular duties, Lieutenant. It's long log today.

Riker: Your first assignment is to assess your Tactical Progress and dump all your TP reports to the poop deck commander. Then wash your hands of it. If we think you're good, we'll leave you a stool for your station.

Worf: Yes sir! Thank you sir!

Ensign: What a douche.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Captain Merrill Stubing welcomes his new First Officer, Potsie Weber, aboard 'The Love Boat'.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Worf: "My targ has fallen and he can't get up!"

 

[shivkala]

Riker: Sir, is everything okay?

Picard: Oh, yes, Number One, it's just going to take me a minute to get moving in this damned one-piece uniform!

Picard: Geordi and his fetishes...Man, we need to get that boy laid!

Crusher: The main symptom is a bad hair day. Sir, you may be the only one on-board who is immune.

Picard: So, that's the deal. Beverly is really pissed off at me. I was thinking flowers...

Riker: Amateur move, sir. If it were me, I'd make up some assignment I had and get the Hell out of there.

Picard: And how well did that work for you and Counselor Troi?

Riker: I'm playing the long game, sir. Give me 15 years and then check in on how effective my plan was.

Worf: My targ? Man, I got to lay off the hallucinogenic drugs...

 

[Mojochi]

Congrats on the milestone!

Picard:...and what kind of moronic name is Data? That's like naming the ship the U.S.S. Traveller... He's right behind me, isn't he?

Beverly: Just how ugly do I have to make myself before that creepy, lurching 1st officer stops hitting on me? He's right behind me, isn't he?

Picard: I wouldn't mind moving in on that Port de Bras

Picard: (Thinking to himself) For a ship called Enterprise, I sure do have to solve a lot of these moron's problems myself

For the majority of Worf's season 1 appearances, it was more cost effective to use a wax sculpture than to pay Dorn

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Fine, I'll reinstate Taco Tuesdays! Happy now?

PICARD: Ballet? What next, classical music and Shakespeare? This ship is full of squares.

CRUSHER: If I hear one more comment about a "bad hairday", I swear I'll cut someone!

STEWART: So, I figure I'll put up with this malarkey for a year, then head back to England when it's canceled. What are your plans?

DORN: So you're killing off Denise's character and I get her spot as a regular? Wow!

 

[R. Star]

Picard: I got a blind guy, a female security officer, a robot and a Klingon. Who decided to make -my- ship an affirmative action project anyways?

Picard: Hmm, shapely legs, nice breasts and doesn't talk... do you want a job at Helm young lady?

Crusher: The next person to say anything about my hair is getting this shoved where the sun doesn't shine.... sideways.

Riker: Should we begin planning a rescue mission?
Picard: I don't -want- to rescue those kids. They deserved to get kidnapped and Child Protective Services should be called in on the deadbeat parents that thought it was a good idea to bring them on a starship.

Worf: Commander Riker, I don't think it's appropriate for a Starfleet officer to appear... naked.

 

[BriGuy]

Worf realizes he has let loose a Klingon fart.

And it's about to kill the entire bridge crew.

 

[BriGuy]

In space, no one can hear you tap dance... so...

 

[T'Girl]

Crusher (breath-less): "I've just come from sickbay ..."

Riker: "What is it Doctor?"

Crusher: "It's a medical facility on a lower deck, but that not important right now."

Picard: "Ensign Gomez?"

 

[ThankQ]

Picard to Crusher: You need to put a lock on the hypospray cabinet. Riker's been self-injecting Human Growth Hormone again.

Dammit, Wesley! ....oh, sorry, you looked like someone else.

Crusher to Picard: It turns out Riker was both happy to see me, and had a little prick in his pocket.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: What? The Doc on the Galactica smokes like a chimney!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

CAPTAIN: What? No, we were happy for you that you got the powers of the Q. We were just messing with you. Don't tell me you actually turned them down!

PICARD: Beverly, how did you know it was my birthday?

BEVERLY: Captain, Commander Riker has been trying to replicate my pheromones so he can spray his girlfriends with them. That's just creepy and...he's staring at me right now, isn't he?

FRAKES: Patrick, you're a 49 year old actor playing a 60 year old who looks like he's 70. How is that even possible?

WORF: Oh crap, the targ I smuggled aboard got out of my quarters. I mean, erm...look at the hallucination, everyone! It's a klingon targ!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "Commander, Starfleet is not in the business of interfering with other cultures."

Riker: "Since when?"

Picard: "Blast! I totally forgot it was Tutu Tuesday!"

Crusher: "Captain, I've had the chance to scan the patient. It doesn't look good. There are squiggly computer graphics in his belly."

Picard: "Good lord. I can't stand to look right at your glossy chin. Its shinier than my head, for heavens sake!"

Worf: "My pet targ! That or a feral kra'pla, a hostile predator that looks exactly like a targ."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Good to see someone with respect for the classics. I don't get modern dancing.

 

[inflatabledalek]

FTW and congats on charting our mental degeneration 300 times.

Picard: This is my handle, and this is my sprout.

Picard: Nobody likes a show off.

Crusher: And this graph shows how much Commander Riker needs to cut back on his eating.

Picard: I think you're over reacting Number One. He may wear what looks suspiciously like a track suit and be very interested in the boy but I doubt The Traveler is a time traveling Jimmy Savile.

Worf: The smugness of this blueshirt offends my honour.

 

[hux]

Riker: Sorry Sir, but you know the rules......who ever smelt it, dealt it