TNG Caption This! 294: Say hello to Season 2!
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Girl: "They said if we look carefully, we'll see there's another planet right on this one's surface."
Wesley: "But they said that planet has rings. I hate those snotty planets with rings--they think they're God's gift to the universe."
<brief pause>
Wesley: "It's right behind us, isn't it?"
Pulaski: "Exhaustion, dehydration, bruises, strained muscles, a couple of torn ligaments and one cracked rib. Criminy, I'm no prude, but somebody needs to remind this Vash woman that this is a sixty-two year old man, not a combination sex toy and crash test dummy!"
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Riker: "Here's a little trick I learned from reading about Captain Kirk."
.
WORF: Have you ever heard the Klingon proverb: "Never bring a pipe to a Bat'leth fight."
Riker turns the pipe towards Worf, and fires a diamond the size of his fist into Worf's chest, using homemade gun powder.
Riker: "Never bring a Bat'leth to a gun fight moron."
Wesley: Sorry the bus is so late.
Salia: It's ok.
Pulaski: "He's in pretty bad shape. I think he's been reading the TrekBBS captions again."
Riker: Worf, put that weapon down. I'm taking these giant sticks of beef jerky and there's nothing you can do about it!
Pulaski: You see, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant Billy: Clean underwear, every time.
Pulaski: That's the short definition of Captain.
Riker: Help me replace that faulty pipe.
Worf: I can't Commander, I have to go cut some firewood if we want s'mores later.
Riker: I just love camping out with you, best buddy.
Worf: We are what Klingons call Quch Ngem 'elI'jaH!
Riker: Yes. Happy Campers!
There were some days when the main deflector dish got annoyed at the nacelle's desperate attention getting behaviors. It looked like this was going to be one of those days.
Riker: Worf, despite what you think, when I said I was laying pipe with Deanna, this is what I meant, I swear!
Picard pulled the old "Ceti Alpha V" trick on Wesley in order to ruin his holodeck date.
Picard: Ah, an old Miranda-class ship from the 23rd Century. Man, those were the days. The men were men, the women were women, space was still mostly unexplored, the food was real, and best of all, the only counselor a Captain needed was his pal the doctor, who had some Romulan Ale on board for "medicinal purposes."
Troi: Captain, I'm sensing some hostility...
Picard: Wonderful stuff that Romulan Ale...
Pulaski: He's practically killed himself to come back in time, I wonder what was so important, he risked dying to prevent from happening. Wait, he's coming around...
Picard: Must stop myself from sleeping with Pulaski...the future depends on it...
Pulaski: I never thought I'd hear that...again...
Salia: "So, Wes, do you go on these 'holodeck dates' often?"
Wesley: "Oh, yeah, all the time! This is the first time I ever brought anyone with me, though."
Salia: "Um...ew!"
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Worf: For setting your eyes on my Par'Mach'kai you sir will be slain for your dishonour!
Girl: What a beautiful world!
Wesley: Yeah wait until the asteroid women arrive- I mean the locals arrive!
Picard: Mr Data send a message to my old friend over there, tell captain Fraser we have a Domjot match to be resolved.
Riker: A Domjot match sir?
Picard: Indeed number one, no one cheats me!
Pulaski: Dear me captain you really do need to ease up on those sleeping pills!
Note how his stress response spikes when I wave this in his face.
Salia: WC + RL 4Ever?
Wesley: Space vandals.
Riker: Jacob!
Worf: Edward!
Starship salesman (OS): "It gets great mileage, and it was owned by a little old lady from the Perseids who only drove it to church on Sundays."
Riker: "It seems a bit outdated. I'm just not sure..."
Salesman (OS): "Did I tell you how great those runners handle on snow?"
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