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TNG Caption This! 289: Spooky Starship!

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Deanna was, technically, correct when she said she'd never kissed Riker with a beard before...
 
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PICARD: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been… ah, wait a moment Number One, I'm getting a call on my bluetooth...

PICARD (distractedly): Hi... Yes, I'm telling him right now... OK, talk later... No, I can't say that here... he'll hear me, that's why!... Fine, fine... Locutie loves his Queenie-Weenie...

PICARD (back to Riker): Uh, right, where was I, again?



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Troi and O'Brien discover what happens when the Calamarain Ambassador drinks too much wine...



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RIKER: Geordi, it was your turn to pay the electricity bill this month.
GEORDI: Yeah, but with a VISOR, I can see in the dark, so screw you.



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Military budget cuts meant that Starfleet interrogation techniques were a mere fraction of their Cardassian equivalents.



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PICARD: OK, the lights are off and the Counsellor has assumed the position. Gentlemen, it's party time.
 
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Counselor Troi, when you are free, perhaps you can help me locate the clown Commander Riker said he punched up here.
 
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O'Brien: When I was down.
Troi: I was your clown.

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Data's new blinding light alert wasn't as effective as he had hoped.

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Riker: Mmmmmmmm. Oh yeah, Deanna, that feels real good! ::Opens Eyes:: WORF!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Riker: "Black turtleneck... tech fetish... my god. It's Steve Jobs, back from the dead."

Locutus: "Yeah, I think we're gonna pass on assimilating Acting Captain Genius over there."

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O'Brien: "Poo gas! My one weakness!"

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Riker: "-and furthermore, the Jilraxiun Ambassad- you're watching porno on that thing, aren't you?"

Geordi: "Yep."

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Data: "Are you aware you were doing Warp 6 in a 25 mile an hour zone? License and registration."

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Picard: "Will, I know you're thinking of beaming Deanna's pants into space."

Riker:
"What gave me away?"

Worf: "Your hand is hovering dramatically above the transporter controls."

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Narrator:
"Was Commander Riker truly abducted by aliens? Or was it just a figment, conjured by a stressed and fractured mind? Find out after the break, on Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction."

FRAKESCEPTION
 
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Worf: Captain. I have returned from the Qo'noS annual "Big Battlin' Batleth Blowout" only to find the entire crew thinks they are - kittens!

Picard: Mew?
 
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Locutus: And as part of my assimilation of Picard's skills and knowledge I have taken the Borg Drone most prone to just standing and drooling with a vacant expression on his face, stood him on my right and called him Number One.
 
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Troi (OS): "I'm not trying to nitpick, but think you might be a bit more comfortable if you changed into pajamas?"
 
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Riker: Locutus of Borg, you say the Borg represent perfection but they still couldn't cure your baldness!

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Troi's karaoke attempt at Child in Time did not go well, the crew always called her the screaming banshee afterwards...


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LaForge: They call it the stairway to heaven.

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Data: Behold! My stroboscopic orgasm inducer!

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Picard: What is that brown thing down there to my left numba one?
Riker: Just Troi's ass sir.

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Riker: (screaming) No! You are not putting my manhood under the cold examination of a laboratory!
 
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O'Brien:"Ohh Bloody Hell...." (Braaaappppppp)

Troi: "Oh dear god that has some hang time"

O'Brien: "Klingon Tacos., Sorry about that Counselor"
 
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PICARD: To hell with their harmony being off. I'm not even sure they're singing the same song!
 
Thanks for the 'shop win

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Riker: I don't remember leaving Miles O'Brien's bachelor's party last night
Geordi: Why is Data's head bolted to the ceiling?
 
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Worf: Transporter room, one to beam to Borg vessel.
Locutus: Where is Worf going Number One?
Wesley <snickering to Ro>: "Going Number One."
Riker: He's gone to transmit a weaponized code into your Collective.
Locutus: What is it, an algorithm?
Riker: Let's just say we're never gonna give you up.
Borg: NEVER GONNA GIVE NEVER GONNA GIVE NEVER GONNA GIVE....

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Riker: Mrs Troi? Are you still here? I'm not changing out of my uniform, you know!

Voice in Riker's head: <tee hee>


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And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyeeeeiiiiiiiii...

Will always

Beam up youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooo....


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Nerds.

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Riker: Ready to try your Bigfoot call again, LaForge?
Data: I do not believe the Bigfeet are convinced.
Worf: Sh! I hear them! Cunning coyote mimicry.

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Riker: We're...working on a rescue plan, sir. We'll be in touch.
 
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DATA: Data to Worf. We have got a 10-82 in Riker's quarters.

WORF (over comm): Unauthorized personnel?

DATA: No, that is a 10-07.

WORF: Then what's a 10-82?

DATA: Disappearing a dead hooker from the Commander's quarters.
 
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Data: "Captain, are you sure it's a good idea to 'hot wire' the ship?"

Picard: "I tried calling Triple-A, but apparently I forgot to renew our membership."
 
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