The Expendables ""all-female" version in the works

[Locutus of Bored]

Except that Bigelow likes to make, y'know, good movies.

As much as I love Point Break (and her other movies), trying to pretend like it's somehow a more highbrow form of entertainment than The Expendables falls kind of flat.

But I do wish I had your power to know that a film is bad before there's even a script written or any film in the can.

 

[Rowdy Roddy McDowall]

There were already more than enough boobs in the original EXPENDABLES ''acting'' with Willis and Statham, so what's the point of remaking it that way?

But, if it were up to me......I'd hire Cynthia Geary, Alicia Witt, Hailee Steinfeld and Genevieve Bujold as the heroes, Helena Bonham Carter, Fairuza Balk, Mila Kunis and Jacqueline Bisset as the villains......and I guess Nichelle Nichols as the voice of Charlie.

 

[Kelthaz]

I'd prefer if there were more female cast members in the main Expendables films. Michelle Rodriguez would have to be a shoe-in.

Yeah, same. I'm not a huge fan of creating a second-tier gaiden movie with women. You can't just throw us a She-Hulk or Spider-Woman and expect us to rejoice. Throw the women in there with the men and treat them as equals.

 

[Dick Whitman]

I think Linda Hamilton should be in an actual Expendable sequel. We have never seen Arnold's team. If it is shown she would be a great member.

 

[lurok]

screenrant seem to agree with many of names here and did this mock-up:

My only issue with Lawless is that she's better known for TV than movies, but I guess if something like this ever happened it would probably help her crossover. Bigelow prob first choice for director but doubt would do. Writers: Cody Diablo, Tina Fey (could inject much needed humour), Leslie Dixon (Limitless, Thomas Crown remake), Caroline Thompson.

How many female gang/heist movies have there been? Not counting obscure Japanese, can only think of two mainstream: Set It Off, and Bundchen's gang in that terrible Taxi remake.

 

[Gaith]

As much as I love Point Break (and her other movies), trying to pretend like it's somehow a more highbrow form of entertainment than The Expendables falls kind of flat.

Two decades and a first-ever female Best Directing Oscar can have a tendency to dissuade filmmakers from certain kinds of material. Just a hunch.

But I do wish I had your power to know that a film is bad before there's even a script written or any film in the can.

It's a gift, but sometimes it feels more like a curse.

... Nah, I'm kidding, it's definitely a gift.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

^ It's certainly something.

 

[JarodRussell]

A female gang of mercenaries is the wrong way to do that film. None of these actresses ever played the stereotype of a badass special forces soldier like Arnold, Stallone, and Norris did. Expendables is a throwback to typical male 80s action like Rambo, Predator, Commando, Missing in Action.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

A female gang of mercenaries is the wrong way to do that film. None of these actresses ever played the stereotype of a badass special forces soldier like Arnold, Stallone, and Norris did.

Huh? A bunch of them have played those types of roles. Off the top of my head:

Michelle Rodriguez was a SWAT police officer in SWAT, an Air Force intelligence officer/forward air controller in Battle: LA, and an Umbrella Corp. commando in Resident Evil.

Angelina Jolie was trained by the SAS in Tomb Raider, was a CIA field agent in Salt, and was a spy/mercenary in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Michelle Yeoh was a Chinese spy in Tomorrow Never Dies.

Linda Hamilton trained with a bunch of ex-military, mercenaries, and criminals to gain knowledge to make John Connor a Resistance leader in Terminator.

Milla Jovovich was a security agent and essentially a human weapon in Resident Evil.

Vivica Fox and Uma Thurman were members of a mercenary assassination squad in Kill Bill.

Rhona Mitra was a commando in Doomsday and Stargate Universe.

Helen Mirren was an assassin/spy/weapons expert in RED.

Gina Carano is a spy in Haywire.

Maggie Q is a spy in Nikita and a mercenary in Die Hard 4.

Grace Jones was an assassin working for a guy who was himself a former Russian spy in A View to a Kill.

Scarlett Johannsen is an assassin/spy in Avengers/Iron Man II.

Katee Sackhoff is a pilot, soldier, master strategist, angel in Battlestar Galactica.

Jennifer Garner is a spy in Alias and a ninja assassin in Elektra.

Summer Glau is a human weapon/assassin in Firefly.

Jessica Alba is a genetically engineered supersoldier in Dark Angel.

Kate Beckinsale was a spy/field agent in Total Recall.

Yvonne Strahovski is a spy on Chuck.

Demi Moore was a Navy SEAL in GI Jane.

Halle Berry was a spy/field agent in Die Another Day.

There's a lot more but I think that shows that they have played plenty of the badass soldier/spy/ SWAT officer roles.

 

[JarodRussell]

So a bunch of spies and field agents it should be then.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I think Stallone, Lundgren, Arnold, and Willis are the only ones who played special forces guys, and two of them are barely in the first movie and the third disappears halfway through after trying to kill the team only to inexplicably be invited back as their BFF at the end.

I couldn't even tell you what Terry Crews has played (other than a bodyguard on The Newsroom right now), or the MMA guy, and Jet Li is usually criminals and martial artists (at least in his Western films). Steve Austin wrestled and beat his wife, so yay for that guy.

I'd say the women have as much experience in these types of roles as most of the men do.

 

[JarodRussell]

I think Stallone, Lundgren, Arnold, and Willis are the only ones who played special forces guys, and two of them are barely in the first movie and the third disappears halfway through after trying to kill the team only to inexplicably be invited back as their BFF at the end.

I couldn't even tell you what Terry Crews has played (other than a bodyguard on The Newsroom right now), or the MMA guy, and Jet Li is usually criminals and martial artists (at least in his Western films). Steve Austin wrestled and beat his wife, so yay for that guy.

I'd say the women have as much experience in these types of roles as most of the men do.

The point is they shouldn't just play female versions of the Expendable characters.

 

[doubleohfive]

Why or why not?

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I think Stallone, Lundgren, Arnold, and Willis are the only ones who played special forces guys, and two of them are barely in the first movie and the third disappears halfway through after trying to kill the team only to inexplicably be invited back as their BFF at the end.

I couldn't even tell you what Terry Crews has played (other than a bodyguard on The Newsroom right now), or the MMA guy, and Jet Li is usually criminals and martial artists (at least in his Western films). Steve Austin wrestled and beat his wife, so yay for that guy.

I'd say the women have as much experience in these types of roles as most of the men do.

The point is they shouldn't just play female versions of the Expendable characters.

Then what would be the point of the movie, since that's what The Expendables are: a bunch of mercenaries?

 

[ManOnTheWave]

I think Linda Hamilton should be in an actual Expendable sequel. We have never seen Arnold's team. If it is shown she would be a great member.

I think Arnold's team should consist of everyone who starred in a Jim Cameron movie.

 

[JarodRussell]

Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, Robert Patrick, Stephen Lang that would be great and pretty badass.

 

[The Nth Doctor]

If nothing else, I'll watch this (I died laughing when xkcd published this).

screenrant seem to agree with many of names here and did this mock-up:

This pretty much sums it up for me. If nothing else, I want to see Weaver, Hamilton, Yeoh, Lawless, Jolie, and Rodriguez. I would also love to see Michelle Forbes, but I doubt that will happen considering her big screen career never took off. I suppose the same is true for Lawless, too, but everyone knows Xena.

 

[Dream]

Then what would be the point of the movie, since that's what The Expendables are: a bunch of mercenaries?

The point of the first two Expendables movies is to put together the cast of many 80s action movies and have them work together. It's like Ocean's Eleven but with action stars. It was the man's action movie.

Having several women there just to be PC wouldn't have worked.

 

[doubleohfive]

Then what would be the point of the movie, since that's what The Expendables are: a bunch of mercenaries?

The point of the first two Expendables movies is to put together the cast of many 80s action movies and have them work together. It's like Ocean's Eleven but with action stars. It was the man's action movie.

Having several women there just to be PC wouldn't have worked.

You must have the same superpower Loctutus recognized in Gaith - you know what the movie will be about before it's been written and made? How cool!

 

[Gaith]

So it's perfectly reasonable, in the context of the thread (itself based on little more than a rumor), to seriously discuss a take-off poster that copies The Expendables, but to say anything negative or even skeptical about the idea (such as that it doesn't sound like a logical vehicle for the first-ever female Best Director winner) is to make rash, irresponsible assumptions? Nice double standard we've got here.