Movie Caption Contest #220: First Contact; Their past, our future.

[LeadHead]

Good evening everyone! Sorry for the delay on setting this one up. Been a little busy again.

First up to the plate, we have the "Styles of Command" Award, going to:

Picard: Your choice, Soran. You can wrestle a shirtless captain until he beats you senseless and has a laugh at your expense, or you can surrender to me and endure a long, pontificating speech about just what you've done wrong.
Soran: Can't I just jump?

Next, we have the "He'll do it! He's CRAZY!" Award, going to:

Worf: Get on with it! Or so help me, I'm going Amistad on this bitch!

Next, we have the "Uncontrollable, wait.... Very Ccontrollable Joy" Award, going to:

James Doohan shows his full excitement and joy at seeing Shatner again.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Berman: "Let's face it, this is what everyone wanted to see really".

"Wait wait wait! Let me get this straight. So, my probe was successful, we both entered the Nexus and you enlisted the help of Captain Kirk and decided to stop me. But, instead of arresting me in your Ten Forward or saving your brother and nephew you decided to arrive five minutes before the Nexus arrives? I'm the villain, and even I think that's stupid."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners!

And now, we completely leave the TOS movie era behind as we move forward into the TNG era. Time for First Contact!

And I just couldn't resist putting in something from this scene as the Properly Blended award comes from it.

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher: And this injection makes you all attractive.

Data: Captain, I suspect we may need to put the Doctor in rehab again.

Picard: Ya think?!

Picard: Look, we don't have much time to decide which of you is second in command. Either flip a coin or rock-paper-scissors, but choose now.

Riker: Just because the song has "Tequilla" in the lyrics, doesn't mean it's a good idea to drink it.

 

[Vassa]

Crusher: Here's a vaccine against the radiation!
Picard: A vaccine against radiation? Are you serious?
Data: Perhaps it would be better if you just, "go with it", sir.

Lieutenant in the background: I think they're gonna kiss!!
2nd Lieutenant in the background: Not on my watch!

Riker: Don't worry about it Dr. Cochrane! We have a Doctor that can cure anything... ..Deanna, I'm sure Beverly can fix your eyes too.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks Ftw!

Stewart: The money saved by having the cast make their own costumes during filming isn't worth the hassle...

Worf: Captain, I wish you'd asked for advice before buying an I Pad. There's a new one out in a week that will make this obsolete.

Data: It is true, your engineering schematic would be much faster and more convincing.

Picard: Priorities people!



Plus I can upgrade.

Troi: Second worst tasting thing I've ever had in my mouth. Lets call it a Will...

...For unrelated reasons.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Seriously, "Lock and load"???? You have no honor.

RIKER: So, I take it you're not Yoko Ono fans?

 

[BriGuy]

In another violation of the Temporal Prime Directive, Troi introduces humanity to Ferengi beetle snuff.

 

[shivkala]

Due to her quick reactions, Beverly was able to get to her stimulant hypo before the full effects of Picard's speechifying hit. Lily, however, was not as lucky.

Data: No, sir, I will not apologize! My newly installed genre-savvy filter clearly states that the Defiant scene is, yet, another example of The Worf Effect.

Worf: Permission to deactivate Data, sir?

Data: Sir, I'd advise against that. While there is a 99.999% chance I will employ the Face Heel Turn, there is an equal chance that I will later effect a Heel Face Turn saving us all.

Picard: Steady Worf, let's just see how this all works out...

The crew's reaction to Frakes' pitch for Star Trek: Insurrection should have been their first clue that, perhaps, they should have gone in a different direction with the TNG movies.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Oh, and once we've killed the Borg, see if you can find my Locutus costume amongst their remains. I'm planning to put it on and go scare the living shit out of Ben Sisko for whinging like a bitch at me that time. "You killed my wife bwah bwah bwah". I had his wife!

Data: I think you may be taking the revenge against those who have slighted you thing too far Sir.

 

[Finn]

Picard: *thinking* It would be nice if Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01 was aboard...

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

Brannon Braga first asked Jonathan Frakes for his opinion on C/7, but when he wasn't instantly charmed at the storytelling possibilities, he enlisted Marina Sirtis instead. She seemed even more disgusted, so at last Braga invented an infinite probability machine and asked Zephram Cochrane himself. Cochrane, Braga presumed, was incredibly moved. And so one of fandom's least received romances was born.

The next time Picard called the Defiant a "tough little ship", Worf brought the entire security detail in a planned... insurrection.

PICARD: "I am sorry, Beverly, but in order for Commander Data and I to blend in during this turbulent era in mankind's history, we need to be surrounded by dead people."
CRUSHER: "And who exactly is going to revive me at the end of the movie?"
PICARD: "I don't know, Pulaski? I hear she's head of Starfleet Medical, or... something."

 

[Kamdan]

Well, if you can beam through the shields...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Beverly: "She's suffering from extreme radiation poisoning. I'm going to treat all of you right under the leaking engine that caused it."

Worf: "Yeah, all the guns and fights just aren't that exciting to me anymore. We do this thing on Deep Space Nine all the time."

Picard: "What if we blew up another armada?"

Worf: "Yeah, gee whiz, I only did that twelve times last week."

Riker: "By the way, Deanna. I neglected to mention that a deadly disease known as Coughitis plagued humanity after the Third World War."

[he turns around]

Riker: "Oh."

 

[R. Star]

Crusher: She's suffering from radiation poisoning. We'll all have to be innoculated.
Picard: You have a hypospray that can cure radiation?
Data: That most most stupid.
Picard: I suppose you also have one that can stop fire from burning you?

Picard: Now, everyone stare threateningly at your partner. I want Borg intimadation faces people!

Deanna: Ugh!
Cocharane: This tastes like piss!
Riker: Well uh... I couldn't find the bathroom around here and there was that empty bottle on the bar...

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "Good thinking Doctor, we should all be vaccinated against radiation poisoning."

Crusher: "What? You can't vaccinate for radiation poisoning. This is a tetanus shot. A lot of sharp metal around here."

Worf: "For the last time, I did not lock Spot in the closet. Give it a rest."

Riker: "...and then she says, well if you think that was something, you should see what I can do with a ping-pong ball. (beat) Oh come on. The joke wasn't that off color."

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Data, we needed her...

Data: I am sorry, captain. She inquired as to how "fully functional" I am. I was simply providing her with the requested information.

Picard: Beverly, what are you giving yourself?

Crusher: Stimulant. Just in case.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

Data: Doctor, you've torn your coat.
Crusher: That's okay, Ill just staple it.

Picard: Data, please remove your gun from my nose.

Frakes: I was kidding! I'm not handing the director's chair over to Shatner.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: A coma!! Why didn't I think of that when the two of you start droning on.

(injects self with hypo)

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks for the win!

"Doctor, when we get back to the Enterprise, I suggest you get a checkup from the EMH for your hand-eye coordination. This makes the fourth time you've missed and injected yourself with the morphine hypospray."

"No, I'm not taking the Borg personally. In fact, I resent your accusations. Now, when you see a drone, I want you to shoot it in the nuts and bash its head in with your phaser rifle. Then, give it the finger."

It was in that horrifying moment that Commander Riker realized that Zefram Cochrane, his childhood hero and inventor of warp drive, was a fan of the early 21st century band Nickelback.

 

[Nerys Myk]

STEWART: Can't you both be the "Spock" of TNG?

DORN & SPINER: No!!!!!!

 

[zephramc]

While it seemed peculiar that the captain ordered a staring contest in the middle of a Borg attack, nobody dared question him about it.