Cap Con 82: A Singular Obsession

[Ln X]

Crewmen: Removing the evidence are we?
Trip: Yep! Captain's made a mess... Again!

Phlox: And after patching up your neck I will chop off your nutsack and feed it to my animals!
Travis: What?

Trip: For the last time T'Pol is mine! Take your repressed sexual urges somewhere else!

Hoshi: Oh God he didn't!
Archer: Trip, why are you placing a cherry bomb underneath my chair?
Trip: April's fools?

 

[T'Girl]

Phlox: " ... so I've been reading up on Human psychologists, particularly this Sigmund Freud of yours ...

Mayweather: "Can we get on with the treatment please?"

Phlox: "Of course, I'm going to insert you head first into this tunnel, try not to think about sex with your mother."

Mayweather: "Huh?"

 

[Skywalker]

Hoshi: "See anything, sir?"
Trip: "I'm not sure. I'm gonna have to take a closer look."

Trip: "Nope, the next contest isn't under the Cap'n's chair, either." *sigh* "I hope Phlox is havin' better luck..."

Phlox: "Good news, Mister Mayweather! It appears that the next caption contest is not, in fact, hidden within your cranium."
Travis: "Uh...thanks, Phlox. Now could you take a look at the broken wrist I came down here for?"

Archer: "Damn it, Trip! It's been two months! Where the hell is the next contest?!"
Trip: "I don't know, sir! I've looked all over the damn ship! I can't find it!"

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: Stop saying I'm a switch hitter with a Phase Pistol! I'm ambidextrous!

One of your best, LeadHead!

Thank you, thank you very much.

 

[phenyx2]

 

[LeadHead]

Phlox: There, now you'll never be able to speak again.

Mayweather: ...

 

[Ln X]

Crewmen: I don't think a whoopie bag in the captain's chair is a good idea.
Trip: Relax crewmen, it's April Fools day!

Phlox: What are these neck markings?
MayWeather: Oh that... I er... had a close encounter with a Klingon...

Archer: T'Pol is mine buddy! Captain's orders!

 

[ThankQ]

The hostile takeover is complete.

Some lives have been altered forever.

Some hearts have been scarred for life.

And yes, sad to say, more than a few animals were harmed.

As the dust settles, there is a returning. There is a new judge. There is a new, old judge. The beginnings of of Enterprise Caption Contest are revisiting the present.

From the ashes, it has risen.

Yes, you have been warned.


Here comes THE JUDGE.

 

[Nerys Myk]

I for one welcome our Omnipresent, Omnipotent overlord.

 

[LeadHead]

Engineer: Why are we filling the Captain's Chair with laughing gas?

Trip: Morale is low, when it starts spilling out, it'll be better than shore leave.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Engineer: Why are we filling the Captain's Chair with laughing gas?

Trip: Morale is low, when it starts spilling out, it'll be better than shore leave.

Engineer: "You realize, if we used helium instead we could get T'Pol to sound like Minnie Mouse."

Trip: "Okay, let's switch it!"

 

[R. Star]

And Now the pics for this contest:

Crewman: What is this archaic technology we're installing on the captain's chair?
Trip: It's called a seatbelt.
Crewman: He'll never go for it.

Phlox: Relax, Mr Mayweather the Denobulan Science Institute just wanted some research data on how long extras can survive in a vacuum chamber.
Mayweather: But.. I've been in space. I'm the pilot.
Phlox: No worries, my friend. We have an extra who we can pay less to fly the ship and say nothing.

After returning from Rura Penthe, Archer was eager to try out some of the Klingon Mating Rituals he learned there.

Trip: It's a seatbelt sir!
Archer: I wouldn't put my dog in that death vise, take it off!
T'Pol: That is most illogical.
Trip: You would have been better off saying it was logical Subcommander....

 

[SFRabid]

Engineer: "Why are we up in the middle of the night raising the captain's chair?"
Trip: "He used the transporter for the first time yesterday. Everytime he uses it I will raise the chair just a bit. ... How fast can you replicate a captain's uniform, 1/4 size larger than what he wears?"

 

[Gaith]

And this contest ends... when, exactly?

 

[Nerys Myk]

When ThankQ starts the next one.

 

[T'Girl]

Mayweather: "I feel like I'm dying."

Phlox: "Don't be silly Travis ... now you going to travel through this long tunnel with a bright light at the far end, no need to worry."

Archer: "Do you feel faint now?"
Trip: "No, are you sure you doing it right?"
Archer: "I saw T'pol put her fingers near his shoulder and then he fell down."
Trip: "But you said you couldn't really see what she did."
Archer: "She called it a nerve pinch."
Trip: "Maybe she used her whole hand."
Archer: "Well that would be a nerve grip, not a nerve pinch."
Trip: "Owww ..."
Archer: "What is it?"
Trip: "What do you mean what is it, you keep pinching me."

 

[ThankQ]

And this contest ends... when, exactly?

When ThankQ starts the next one.

It'll be this week. Sorry, right after I agreed to retakeover I had a thing come up. Yous guys knows whats Is meanses. A thing. Bada bing bada boom, a thing. Why yous gotta ax so many questions? Yous tryin' to be some kinda wise guys?

 

[Mistral]

Engineer: Why are we filling the Captain's Chair with laughing gas?

Trip: Morale is low, when it starts spilling out, it'll be better than shore leave.

Engineer: "You realize, if we used helium instead we could get T'Pol to sound like Minnie Mouse."

Trip: "Okay, let's switch it!"

Engineer: "Too late now-I've already got the whoopie cushion in place."

 

[Commander Mel]

Archer: "You toucha my sandwich, I breaka your face!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "Think you're funny, don't you! I'd better not ever hear you refer to T'Pol and me as 'Tee-Pole and Tent-Pole' again!"