TOS Caption Contest #261, WAIT!!

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched?"

Septimus: "Yes, all the time....in widescreen, high-definition, with surround-sound!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "And thirdly, the Prime Directive is more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules..."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "....so they posed me to take all of these pictures, but then they wouldn't let me drive the damned thing!"

Septimus: "They heard about the driving difficulties that you had when you visited Sigma Iotia II."

Kirk: "Is there one person in the galaxy who hasn't heard about that?!?"

Septimus: "No."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Uhura: "Spock, why is your complexion so yellow?"

Spock: "Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy came up with it in order to further enhance the 'got-his-head-caught-in-a-mechanical-rice-picker' story, should it ever have to be used again."

Uhura: "That's a little drastic, isn't it?"

Spock: "If I'm supposed to be Chinese, Doctor McCoy can no longer call me 'inhuman,' can he?"

Uhura: "Point."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SEPTIMUS: We also have bread.

KIRK: Bread and wine?

SEPTIMUS: Yeah. Its kind of a thing.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Your coffee is most excellent, I represent an Earth Company that would like to, shall we say, "make use" of your coffee beans. It's called Starbucks...

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "OK, I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, but just between you and me, when I said maybe our next mission should have some connection to Hollywood, I didn't mean Frederick's of Hollywood."

 

[Mistral]

Septimus: "No more for me-I have to drive later."

Kirk: "That's why I hired Sulu. Hit me again, dear."

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Not only are your boots garish, but they make your thighs look fat. I'm going to have the security guards stun you and put you out of our misery now."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SEPTIMUS (thinking): Funny, Jim never asks for a second cup at home.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: I see that you all have met our passenger. Mister Sulu, set course for the Miss Universe Pageant.

 

[Mr Silver]

Kirk: "Riley?! Lt. Kevin Riley?!"
Riley: "It's Kathleen now."
Spock: "Fascinating..."

 

[UFO]

Strip-a-gram: ♪... happy birthday dear Su-lu, happy birthday tooo yooou. ♪

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I could stand to hear a little more about this "snu snu" you speak of.

 

[R. Star]

Scotty: Captain! There be boobies here!

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

SEPTIMUS (thinking): Funny, Jim never asks for a second cup at home.

You owe me a new keyboard.

 

[Redfern]

Funny how some of the cleanest jokes can trigger the biggest guffaws.

Sincerely,

Bill

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "You paid what for that outfit?!? You could have had a much better deal with Priceline. In your case, that is a travel-related expense."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

*Turbolift doors swoosh open*
Redshirt in turbolift: "Whoa! Thanks for the tip-off, Boss!"
Scotty: "Don't mention it, laddie."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sulu: "Excuse me, Miss, but you're blocking the viewscreen."