Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek V: The Final Facepalm

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Everyone! I hope you've been doing well, lets get going!

First up to the plate, we have the "At least he didn't go with 'Brawny'" Award, going to:

KIRK: "The quicker picker upper"?
BONES: Wrong historical irony, Jim.

Next, we have the "The Curtains won't be installed until Tuesday" Award, going to:

Brunetty: Sir, we have a message from Captain Styles. He says it's urgent.

Blondie: What is it?

Brunetty: Well, sir, he says the spotlights from the rave party on the lower level is keeping him awake, and he'd like us to get them to shut them off...

Next, we have the "Don't worry, there's plenty of terrible fads in the 80's to deal with..." Award, going to:

Kirk: Guys, no need for the glasses, we're thirty years too early for the 3D craze.

Our Photoshop award, goes to:

MCCOY: Who knew Vulcan had a seedy underbelly?!

KIRK (smiling): I did.

McCoy: I never thought I'd say it, but I'm going to miss this place Jim. The Vulcan gangstas are polite, and their tagging mostly consists of literary references and math equations.

Thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners! Now, we move away from the Trilogy and into William Shatner's Trek Directorial Debut...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Good, we have the advantage! Let's move! Spock?

Spock: One moment, Captain. I enjoy Uhura's fan dance from this angle.

Audience: Do it, Spock. Save the movie!

McCoy: Jim! Did Stonehenge just self-assemble?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: She put her clothes back on yet?

SPOCK: Negative.

SPOCK: I warn you, getting paint stains out that material will be difficult. Surrender.

MCCOY: That spaceship line isn't going over too well!!!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Huzzah for the win.

Nimoy: There Bill, that's the Paramount executive who can approve the budget you need to properly film the final. Are you sure getting Nichelle to do the dance thing to get him on side is a good idea?

Shatner: It's how I got T.J. Hooker!

Spock: No, you definitely said Sean Connery, not Sha Ka Ree. I feel betrayed now.

I'm not saying Shatner fell out with the crew, but by the end of filming this was as close as the cameraman was willing to get to him.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

"Perhaps this was not a good idea, Captain..."

"Yeah, we should've had Uhura dance instead of Sulu. Must say though, the man's really enjoying himself!"

Off-screen: "Everybody CONGA!"

"Sybok, do not make me destroy you..." "I thought you hated Star Wars, Spock!"

The planetwide dance to YMCA wasn't going too well...

 

[Maurice]

Thanks for the win!

KIRK: What do you see?
SPOCK: The end of your directorial career, closing fast.

SPOCK: And voila, you are now immune to space herpes.
SYBOK: Ouch! Wait...I thought it was an oral vaccine.

KIRK: This planet rocks
BONES: Oh, shut the $#@% up, Jim.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "I could see nothing in visible light or ultra-violet, but in infra-red all their genitals are glowing!"
Kirk: "What the hell are they doing down there?!"

 

[Balrog]

Kirk: "Spock, can you see the plot from here?"

Spock: "I couldn't find the plot to this movie with two more hands and a treasure map..."

SPOCK: "End this now or I will shoot you through the heart, Sybok."

SYBOK: "Then why are you aiming at my spleen?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"I have been pumping it full of helium for half an hour, Jim, and it still isn't floating".

"Try one of the Khan or Kruge balloons; they're more popular anyway".

Kirk: "Ceiling Horta!"

McCoy: "My god, the legends are true!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "Virtual Boy, huh? And I thought the marshmellons were bad product placement..."

Sybok: "What are you gonna do? Paintball me to death?"

McCoy: "His ego is this big."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "I can see banthas down there, but I can't see any... wait, there's sand people all right."
Kirk: "I have a bad feeling about this."

Sybok: "You do know you're holding that thing backwards?"

McCoy: "I knew it was a mistake to free your ego."
Kirk: "It's so... big!?"
McCoy: "Duh!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sybok (snickers): "You have absolutely no idea where the trigger is on that thing, do you."

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Just so you know, I never forgave you for stealing my Action figures when we were kids.

BANG!

 

[Kirby]

Hey thanks for the win!

Kirk: I'm tired of this viewmaster reel. I have Spongebob, what do you have Spock?
Spock: Spiderman. Let's do tradies!

Sybok: Spock, I must be honest with you, my people have no weapons. That's the thing I use to re-caulk the bathtub.

Kelly: Rock monster?
Shatner: Nope, but wait'll you see it. It'll blow the audience's socks off!

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Who keeps chanting 'Grishnak!'?"

 

[Mistral]

Kelly: Rock monster?
Shatner: Nope, but wait'll you see it. It'll blow the audience's socks off!

Shatner: "It's a Rock Lobster!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy: "We left Spock on the ship...did you at least bring paper?"

Kirk: "Just scissors and lizard..."

McCoy: "Damn".

 

[Nerys Myk]

COMMANDER TAGGART:If I could offer some advice.

 

[Candlelight]

Spock: "Still can't see the shuttle, Captain."

Spock: Right, just turn around and we'll give you that enema."
Sybok: "That won't stop me from stealing the Enterprise."
Spock: "You're stealing the Enterprise?"

McCoy: "What's that? You want to know how big his fish is?"
Kirk: "Joke's not getting any better, Bones."

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: Spock, we need to take those horses!

Spock: By your command.

Kirk: Give it a rest, Spock.

Spock: Yes, sir.