TNG Caption This! 259: A different take on things...

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents! Lets get going!

First up to the plate, we have the "There goes our Family Friendly Status" Award, going to:

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Thanks and welcome back. Our topic today, "I've been dating your evil android brother." Now, Data, you've been dating Lt. D'Sora for a while now. Lt. D'Sora has something she wants to tell you...Lt.?

Lt. D'Sora: I've been seeing your brother, Lore, behind your back.

Data: I do not understand, though I do not have optic sensors behind my back, I am 99% positive that it would be impossible for you to see Lore behind my back without my knowledge.

Jerry: Well, to answer that, Data, we have your brother backstge!

Lore: Surprised to see me brother?

Data: I am incapable of expressing an emotion such as surprise. However, even if I were, the cliched format of this program, as well as the high probability of a fight after the reveal would indicate that this was the most likely scenario. Furthermore, the episode is entitled, "I've been dating your evil android brother," which Mr. Springer just finished stating as we returned from commercial break.

Jerry: thinking to himself--I was defrosted from cyrogenic suspension for this?

Next, we have the "And we're making Riker grow a beard so he can handle those with facial hair," Award, going to:

You called me for this? I suppose if it had been a ship full of bald white bureaucrats you could've handled it yourself

Next, we have the "The Dancing Doctor... in trouble!" Award, going to:

Troi: "You know Beverly, it's not in good taste to 'do the robot' when Data is in the room."

Next, we have the "The Mystery is solved!" Award, going to:

PICARD Wait, if Ensign Bates' mother has been dead all this time...

Next, we have the "At the end of the 3rd Quarter, Picard: 10, Riker: 0" Award, going to:

Picard (miffed at being ignored): "Hey, Will! Seen Deanna lately? Seen Devinoni Ral lately? Seen the light yet, dumbass?"

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Riker: We won't go back! You don't know what it's like in our season. Roddenberry is gone! Data episodes are everywhere! You are dating Deanna. You are telepathically linked to Bev. I did that damn holoprogram thing!

Worf: "I recommend caution, Captain. That is a Klingon battle cruiser, one of the most powerful vessels in the Empire."
Picard: "...Seriously?"
Worf: "It'll look more menacing on Blu-ray."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to all of our winners! And now, I have a confession to make, the real reason for the late start was not due to work, it was due to the fact that I wanted this contest to start a little closer to April 1st.

It's a tradition in the contests to do something a little different for April Fools Day, so here's our new pictures!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Number 6: We're watching YOU now!

President Laura Roslin: Okay, so you two don't play nice.

Admiral Cain: He started it.

Commander Adama: She started it.

President: Laura Roslin: That's it, both of you go to separate corners and think about what you've done!

Apollo: And the petition to rename the morning briefings "Complete Waste of Time" won with an astounding 98%.

Anders: You stole Leonard Nimoy's bike!

Boomer: Wow, people in the 21st Century actually watch these crappy Reality TV shows?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARK (thinking): Maybe I could put on a pound or two.

 

[Skywalker]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

A look inside the BSG writers' room as they brainstorm on the series finale...

Blonde Writer: "Oh, look, I've got it! Why don't we just have the Cylons and the Colonials merge into a new form of life?"

 

[LeadHead]

A look inside the BSG writers' room as they brainstorm on the series finale...

Blonde Writer: "Oh, look, I've got it! Why don't we just have the Cylons and the Colonials merge into a new form of life?"

Younger Writer: We've got 3 choices now, can we make them all work with basically the same cinematics?

Blonde Writer: Of course!

 

[Gepard]

"There! That's where the 'Janeway' tag went!"

"I will not do the hoky-poky. I will not turn myself about. Frak you."

Sharon: "How much longer until season 4?"

Doral: "56 weeks."

Six: "Frakking Sci-Fi execs."

Nobody likes 3D movies in the Battlestar universe, either.

 

[Ayelbourne]

Six: There! You see? That weirdo Leoben won yet another caption contest last week.
Baltar: Oh dear...
Adama: Frak this!
Gaeta (thinking): He's kinda hot, though.
Tigh: I need a drink.

Eight: *gasp* Trent is cheating on Barbara?? But she's so sweet and gave him two lovely kids! Why on Caprica would he do this to her?

Doral: In yesterday's episode he told his friend Frank that he never loved Babs in the first place and only married her because he was lonely.

Six: These so called soap operas are so fascinating! To think we never would have been able to experience this if we hadn't wiped out the colonies...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

McDonnell: "Did you notice the camera angle our new director of photography is using? He's very artistic!"
Olmos: "He's trying to get a shot up your skirt."

Apollo: "Hey! Am I boring you assholes?"

Anders: "Keep her away from me! It's just her word against mine!"
Tigh: "Yes, but we believe her. And our traditions are clear. You spend the night with someone and don't call them the next day, they get to kick the crap out of you."

Park: "Linda Park? And on another sci-fi show? This is gonna be trouble!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

6: Blimey, they really didn't like the last episode did they?

Tigh: They didn't like the mystical/religious stuff? Were they not paying attention to the previous four seasons?

Adama: Yeah, that's like sitting through all 5000 episodes of Friends and then going "Hey, the final was bad because it was all about some pretty New Yorkers wise cracking at one another".

Felix: I told you God should have turned out to be a robot. People would have liked that.

Laura: OK, so lets settle this then...

Cain: As the only person in this contest who has actually been on Star Trek: The Next Generation I should command the fleet!

Adama: Frak that, I was in Blade Runner and automatically win on cool points.

Cain: Oh come on, that's so dull! It's a film for thick people to watch and pretend they're smart.

The test audience for Star Trek: Nemesis.

Tigh: Hey... 1701 D! Come on! One of you has got to get that reference? No? Geez, how young are you people? I wish Cain was here, she'd get it.

Boomer: This is the last time we watch Two Cylons: One Cup.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ADAMA: First Class isn't what its cracked up to be.

APOLLO: Okay, is there any one here who wasn't at Tigh's party last night?

 

[Eydie Munroe]

There! Right there! That's the exact moment in time society went to hell!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

HELFER: See, Two of us will go on to appear in Smallville! Gotta me and Callis, we're fan faves!!!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Boomer: Wow, people in the 21st Century actually these crappy Reality TV shows?

Six: "The one with the KardSkankian's is the worst."

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Godfrey: No, look, I'm telling you, it's a TNG caption contest, but since it's April Fool's Day, it's BSG pictures.

Roslin: For the last time, who took the frakkin' cookie from the cookie jar?!

Cain: Commander Adama stole the cookie jar.

Adama: Who, me?

Cain: Yes, you!

Adama: Not me!

Cain: Then who!

Adama: Lee stole the cookie from the cookie jar! I keep telling him a moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips, but he doesn't listen...

Speaker: And that concludes my lecture on "Why they frakked up Galactica and further reasons why the finale sucked so hard." Please join me next week as I begin my series on Lost entitled, "What the frak was up with the three-toed statue anyway?"

Anders: Anyone seen Boxey? He should be about this tall now. No? Alright, thanks for your time.

Eight: Okay, you know what, I was all for sparing the humans, but they are working on a third Human Centipede movie? Frak that, they need to die and now!

 

[Isis]

Anders: "You were the one asked to bring the Twister mat, so you get the demerit."

Six: "I finally figured out who shot J.R."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ANDERS: When say, I got it. That means I frakking got it!!!

TIGH: He was a frakking ball hog at Pyramid, too.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

[The video screen shows a clip of Six being shot by Five]

Six: "No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again."

Roslin: "Alright, time to figure this out. Who's going to make an obvious power grab this Friday? It's not gonna be me, cause I did it last week."

Adama: "Friday's no good for me. I've got a thing."

Cain: "Well, I don't have anything going."

Apollo: "-2 meter exhaust port. Hey, pay attention, will ya?"

Starbuck: "Come on, everyone with a pulse has seen Star Wars. We know what to do, Lee."

Tigh: "Dear god, it won't stop. I can hear Michael Bolton in my head."

Anders: "Hey. I like Michael Bolton."

Tommy Wiseau: "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!"

Eight: "This movie is so beautiful."

 

[Nerys Myk]

APOLLO: Hey, if you all don't show a little enthusiasm I might have to cancel these briefings all together.

STARBUCK: Promise?

 

[LeadHead]

Apollo: Thank you all for coming, but I'm afraid that tonight's seminar on Prophecy has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

[Bob Karo]

Boomer: Wow, people in the 21st Century actually these crappy Reality TV shows?

Six: "The one with the KardSkankian's is the worst."

Doral: Please. If it was just the one, I might have considered sparing the humans.