Maybe they'll actually try to have sex and she'll laugh at his tiny penis, or he'll be a three-pump chump, or his cousin (and/or Thames) will walk in on them and he'll lose all interest in Christiangirl.
I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.
- Thread starter MadBaggins
- Start date
Maybe they'll actually try to have sex and she'll laugh at his tiny penis, or he'll be a three-pump chump, or his cousin (and/or Thames) will walk in on them and he'll lose all interest in Christiangirl.
Jayson was dating a transwoman cheerleader for a while. Put the three of them together and you've got... well, something. The trifecta of fail?
Okay. If you say so.
But just so you know, attempted suicide rates or death by laughter are going to skyrocket around here if it happens.
Ugh.
This was like a mid-season two hour long episode that goes nowhere and means nothing but was just there to pad the season and get one last push in before sweeps ends.
This was like a mid-season two hour long episode that goes nowhere and means nothing but was just there to pad the season and get one last push in before sweeps ends.
Since your relationship is about to go to the next level, have you all discussed sex yet? What positions she prefers, whether her religion allows contraception, whether you'll need to get married first, that sort of thing?
Do it Doggy Style with a bag over both your heads. Preserve what little dignity you have left.
I'm rooting for you MB. Just lay of the religion stuff and lay on.
Once you've had a drug-fueled orgy in your Sugar Cougar's living-room while she's away visiting sick loved ones it's pretty hard to be satisfied by anything else.
Isn't that a little zen for a Dawkins devotee? Don't be afraid of the truth MB!
I'd hate to burst your bubble, laddy. But if you define having sex as being in a relationship, yer way off the mark.
You can be in a relationship without having sex, and you can have sex without being in a relationship. In layman's terms its called booty call, or a "mutually beneficial agreement" in case I offended anyone's sensibilities.
Geez, mate! Where'd you get your info, sex-ed class? As a collage student, I thought you'd know better. Shame on you.
There's also one night stands, "that terrible mistake", "look we were drunk, it won't happen again", "it was dark, I though it was your roommates rooms" and a few others.
Ah, yes. I've heard about those. Aside from the first, those haven't happened to me, so I wouldn't know.
EDIT: I'm just so glad that we have MB. It makes me feel so much better knowing that there are people would can have worse bouts of verbal incontinence than me. I mean, the first thing is said to Sara when we met was, "Will you marry me?" (Alright, it was the second time. First time we met, I was unconscious. So that doesn't count.)
I'm serious, I was coming in with a busted brake line. I was livid. I got out of the car and started yelling at whoever signed off on the car. Anyway she gets out of another nearby car, her hair a mess, oil stains everywhere, looking all kinds of gorgeous. She tossed me a wrench and said, "Well, Doc. Its a good thing you can both drive it and fix it. Time to live up to your reputation."
I just stared at her and asked if she'd marry me. She looked at me and said, "Well, if you aren't afraid of a good ride. You might have a very, very slim chance." For the record. Never get on a motorbike with her, she insane.
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I've got her to agnostic now and I think (though she hasn't said anything) that she's leaning towards atheist. I'm amazed at how well this has gone. Luckily she wasn't a serious Christian, just one of those casual Christians who believes because they don't want to go to Hell. They're pretty easy to convince it's all a load of crap when you explain to them that there is no afterlife (unless it can be explained by science, such as all our thoughts and experiences being sucked into a kind of wormhole when we die. I'm interest in theories like that.)
There was a new problem when I met her parents again recently. I'd hoped they'd be at the hospital with her brother so that we could go straight to the bedroom, but they turned out to be unexpectedly home. Her mother is nice, but her father was like Al Pacino in Meet The Parents and was really questioning me. He asked my age more than once and I eventually had to tell him. So I'm six years older than her, so what? We never even considered that could be an issue. Her father looks older than her mother too, so if he thinks it's a problem he's quite the hypcrat. He kept saying his daughter is very special and has a bright future doing important things. Well she's very special to me as well and I'm hopeful we can do those special things together.
There was a new problem when I met her parents again recently. I'd hoped they'd be at the hospital with her brother so that we could go straight to the bedroom, but they turned out to be unexpectedly home. Her mother is nice, but her father was like Al Pacino in Meet The Parents and was really questioning me. He asked my age more than once and I eventually had to tell him. So I'm six years older than her, so what? We never even considered that could be an issue. Her father looks older than her mother too, so if he thinks it's a problem he's quite the hypcrat. He kept saying his daughter is very special and has a bright future doing important things. Well she's very special to me as well and I'm hopeful we can do those special things together.
Did he wear dark sun-glasses and keep shouting Hoo-YEAH!
Well, given that you're, like, 22 it probably would be a big deal.
"Hypcrat" as-in someone who does free-expression poetry in below street-level bars or is he some-sort-of medical implant for and old person who just fell on the sidewalk?
Your name isn't T.J. and Thames' name isn't really Brodie is it?
Dude, you had a bisexual four-way in the living room of some Cougar you were dating. I think you can say "I want to have sex with her."
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