Homecoming and The Farther Shore: In which any Voyager crewman with a genuine claim to character development is thrown in prison for the presumption. B’Elanna, fearing she might be next, runs away and compounds the error by committing matricide. Janeway, knowing Kim and Chakotay are fine, enlists their aid in an epic struggle to enforce a status quo despite everything.
Spirit Walk, books one and two: In which Chakotay’s imaginary friend comes to life and beats the frinx out of Odo’s crippled cousin.
A Time To Be Born and A Time to Die: In which the Travelers haze Wesley by making him think everyone’s going to die and telling him if he helps they’ll throw him out. Presumably they all laugh heartedly as he desperately tries to cope by making Christmas Carol references and stalking Admiral Nechayev. Feather boas join the Federation only to go out of style again.
A Time to Sow and A Time to Harvest: In which Enterprise receives an old TV broadcast by an honest-looking fellow and heads out to see his low, low prices, only to find that the planet which made the broadcast exploded centuries ago and it’s just some asteroids now. There are plans for a revival, but corporate sabotage from a rival company threatens to undermine this. Picard protects his new investment by bringing down the rival corporation.
A Time to Love and A Time to Hate: In which Riker’s dad reminds people of The Icarus Factor, and global riots commence. Beverly Crusher gets them all addicted to her home-brewed vapours and patents it as a cure, making millions.
A Time to Kill and A Time to Heal: In which David Mack pulled a "Teatime from Discworld" and went all metaphysical in his bloodlust, knifing not people or planets but concepts such as the Federation's idealism and the integrity of the Presidential office.
A Time for War, A Time for Peace: In which Klingon terrorists wander in through the kitchen and decide to take over the Federation embassy. Worf realizes the embassy is attracting too much serious attention, so he makes Alexander the new ambassador. Elsewhere, Bacco wins the election by virtue of being the author’s grandmother.
Titan: Taking Wing: In which Riker and Troi get a dinosaur and let it loose on their new ship. Also, Romulus is saved from disaster, meaning all who live upon it can now enjoy long and meaningful lives without fear of catastrophe.
Titan: The Red King: In which Titan heads down the rabbit hole to retrieve Earth’s stolen property. Holy Vangar’ is successfully recaptured and the Neyel threat is eliminated. Medals are given all-round. Also, Akaar forgives Tuvok for saving his life, the bastard.
Articles of the Federation: In which we watch several episodes of President Bacco’s Fun-Time Variety Hour. Much threatening to beat people with podiums ensues. Also, Cort Enaran lampshades Godwins’ Law and the Federation butchers a baby Tzenkethi in revenge for the Tzenkethi War. While they’re distracted, Donatra steals half the Romulan Empire and refuses to give it back. These are wacky hours indeed!
Resistance: In which the Borg experiment with such advanced tactical techniques as “moving your legs at a rate greater than once per minute” and “not letting enemy troops wander around unchallenged”. Picard decides to become Locutus again, because plot.
Titan: Orion's Hounds: In which Riker joins Greenpeace and tries to save the whales, but is told by the whalers that if you don’t kill whales, you won’t be able to convert them into killer submarines and kill sharks, and if you don’t kill sharks they’ll eat everyone who even goes near the water, and then the resort business will be ruined. Riker suggests they ask the whales to help rather than turn them into submarines. The whalers sulk for a bit, then pretend they like the idea.
Q and A: In which Picard and Worf pull the plug on the universe and desperately try to put it back in again. Rather than admit that they screwed up, they tell Admiral Janeway it was their imaginary friend Q, knowing that she believes in him too. This “Q” gets the blame and Picard’s career is saved.
Titan: Sword of Damocles: In which Titan spends a thousand years screwing with some bugs, using a big magnifying glass in the sky to periodically burn them. The most spiritual crewman tries to stop the slaughter by organizing a new bug regime under his guidance, but his colleague dumps him back in time. He pulls a Valen and organizes anyway.
Before Dishonor: In which the Borg eat Pluto and Starfleet admirals take bets on the end of the world, while Seven pilots a Planet Killer and Borg ships fly out of stars. This is actually not a joke. Also, Janeway dies. With her dies the peace of the Trek BBS and all hope for reason.
Greater Than the Sum: In which the Enterprise tries to chase down the Borg but instead gets lost in the Japanese theatre and then assaulted by digimon. Beverly wants a baby but Jean-Luc argues “if I agree there’ll be a trilogy of epic books in which the Borg threaten to destroy everything I hold dear. So I can’t”. But he gives in, and so everyone on Barolia dies. Also, Enterprise introduces an eldritch abomination to the concept of expansion and reproduction, and sets it loose on the galaxy.
Destiny: Gods of Night: In which Erika Hernandez skips the Romulan War by hiding with a cult of pacifist space elves, but gets in trouble when her crew double-flush the toilet and destroy the space elf civilization. Many years later, the Borg come up through the piping and out of the toilet bowl, leading to an infestation.
Destiny: Mere Mortals: In which Erika Hernandez converts to the Space Elf Cult and tries to convert the Titan crew too. Troi’s dinosaur, unable to handle the mandatory vegetarianism, tries to eat Troi within days. Hernandez has a crisis of faith and locks herself in the bathroom, while Picard has a far more general crisis and starts channelling Marvin the Paranoid Android.
Destiny: Lost Souls: In which the Borg read their copy of Star Trek Star Charts and then decide a second edition is required. Much Desolation of Deneva, Ruination of Risa, and Conflagration of Coridan ensues. Hernandez crowns herself queen and initiates Instrumentality, the Borg get hugged and turn to Tang. The galaxy is saved, and readers start searching the floor for their jaws.
A Singular Destiny: In which a country musician wanders in out of the rain and sits in with the President’s staff for a bit, then offers to go talk to the Romulans. Thinking he’s one of their diplomats, the President agrees. All of the second-rate aliens get bored of being underused and so join the Romulans in forming a new club that’s better than the stupid old Federation. Tezrene, master manipulator that she is, manages to make a Zaldan act rudely. Bacco gets mad, but Tezrene says, “LOL. Plausible Deniability”, and then scuttles off sniggering. The musician goes back to work happy.
Losing the Peace: In which the Federation, aghast at these dirty refugees trailing mud over the carpet and asking if please may they have some more, banishes them all to the beach. This backfires when concerned politicians realize their personal sunning spots are getting dangerously overcrowded, and appeal for aid. The Federation quickly declares that the poor are people too, and the governor’s beach is saved.
Full Circle: In which Voyager is banished back to the Delta Quadrant after Chakotay goes nuts and screams shrilly at people. B’Elanna refuses to go and so fakes her own death to get out of it. Dr. House joins the crew instead.
Titan: Over A Torrent Sea: In which Lavena considers kidnapping the captain and going to live with him under the sea, but can’t when Titan collapses the ecosystem. Tormenting bugs grew boring, so now they’re after the whales. Meanwhile, the dinosaur joke starts getting old when the creature gets loose and rampages through a hospital, dragging Troi along with it.
Unworthy: In which Barclay unleashes evil as part of a plan to get the Doctor a girlfriend. Also, Voyager crashes a Borg fan convention and has to break the news that the show has been cancelled.
Titan: Synthesis: In which Titan attempts to assert its independence and individuality, and show that starships are people too. Fortunately, it is lobotomized and returned to service, where it belongs.
Children of the Storm: In which the Federation, remembering that they were never again to visit the old quarry, decides to visit the old quarry. The ghosts that live there steal their weed. After much experimenting with it and a few days tripping, they decide the Federation is more than welcome. The Federation sets up a permanent supply at the quarry, making everyone happy.
DTI: Watching the Clock: In which a group of very dull people try their best to be as mundane and boring as humanely possible, but keep coming up against the problem that they’re in a good book. Irritated by this, they crash history in an attempt to derail the plot. This leads to Braga characters, and, humbled by their folly, the leads restore the timeline.
Zero Sum Game: In which Bashir and his ex crash a train on the underground and wreck some guy’s shipyard while wearing masks.
Rough Beasts of Empire: In which the Tzenkethi plot to bring peace and stability to the galaxy, by being arseholes. Gell Kamemor returns and the Romulans, realizing that she’s reasonable and sane, stick her in the Praetor’s seat to see what happens. Also, Sisko reasons that anyone who comes near him will suffer, so he deletes all his facebook friends and rejoins the Navy.
Seize the Fire: In which mammals and reptiles come together in a great and glorious future, and the circle of life is ruined. Fortunately, they’ve found a dead god that lets them reboot it. The reptiles turn this god against some amphibians, because it was feared they’d side with the mammals. Soft is soft, eh?
Paths of Disharmony: In which the ghost of Diego Reyes rises from the tomb and wreaks havoc. The Andorians announce that they’re leaving the board forever and scrawl DELETE ME all over the Federation Council chamber.
The Struggle Within: In which the Typhon Pact starts interfering with itself and with anyone else it can find because it’s Monday and they’re bored. The Kinshaya decide to try some non-violent protest so the Breen go all British on their behinds and be-Brigadier the hell out of ‘em. Meanwhile, the Talarian leaders begrudgingly accept that some of the budget needs to go to rebuilding the school house and not the shiny new death cannon they wanted. The Tzenkethi show up and remind everyone they’re still arseholes.
Indistinguishable From Magic: In which Scotty, his time drawing near, tries to poach as many engineers from the other series as possible in order to realize his dream: a ship run entirely on technobabble delivered in exaggerated accents from the British Isles. He also finds Kang’s granddaughter, and lets her drive while under the influence of Klingon-ness. Meanwhile, Bok has had a revelation; revenge won’t bring his son back...TIME TRAVEL HIJINKS will bring his son back! Geordi crashes his ship and kills Scotty. Not to be outdone, Sela crashes her ship too. Then she and Geordi laugh about that time she tortured him.
