Let's analyze my date

[propita]

Of course you were both a bit reserved and awkward--you were strangers trying to figure out if you ever wanted to see this other person again! Don't worry about that. If you were able to talk to each other for FOUR hours, feeling as awkward as you did, and still are interested in talking with her again, sounds like a positive first date to me.

Shoot, on our first date, Hubby was so tongue-tied I asked him what was wrong. We had been working together for 1 1/2 years and had talked hours and hours already. But this was different--we were on a date. He said that he was nervous. So I hit him on his arm. Um ... yeah. I hadn't been on many dates and was woefully immature.

 

[RoJoHen]

Of course you were both a bit reserved and awkward--you were strangers trying to figure out if you ever wanted to see this other person again! Don't worry about that. If you were able to talk to each other for FOUR hours, feeling as awkward as you did, and still are interested in talking with her again, sounds like a positive first date to me.

I also let her borrow my Chapstick.

 

[Daneel]

I also let her borrow my Chapstick.

Well geez, you two were practically making out! You animal.

I say go on another date with her in a couple weeks when your schedules are more flexible. If you still don't feel that the two of you would click as a couple, well then maybe you would work better as friends (since you say you do have a lot in common). There could certainly be worse outcomes from this.

 

[RoJoHen]

I've never even been in a couple! How do I know if we click?

 

[sidious618]

I've never even been in a couple! How do I know if we click?

You'll just know, trust me. I was a late bloomer with dating but I knew when it worked because after the first couple dates, when the nerves went away, I realized I loved being with her. Granted, it ended in misery but the time together was good!

I was actually out with a girl yesterday. I met her online. She did NOT look like how she did in the pictures. Yikes. So your date sounds a fair bit better.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I also let her borrow my Chapstick.

Well geez, you two were practically making out! You animal.

I say go on another date with her in a couple weeks when your schedules are more flexible. If you still don't feel that the two of you would click as a couple, well then maybe you would work better as friends (since you say you do have a lot in common). There could certainly be worse outcomes from this.

And a romantic relationship can grow from a friendship, but that requires much care for it to happen.

 

[Daneel]

I've never even been in a couple! How do I know if we click?

I've never been in a couple either, so I can't help you there. I swear, if I actually somehow end up in a relationship one day, I probably won't even realize it.

 

[captcalhoun]

sounds like it went well to me, FWIW. i've only been on one date and that was different because i already knew the girl since we worked together. but your experience doesn't seem too bad. you speent 4 hours together, that's good. she got in touch with you after, that's good. she wants to see you again, that's even better. i'd said mission accomplished, you've successfully not made yourself look a prat and set up a possible second date. well done.

 

[Skywalker]

Maybe she could tell you were kind of holding back and wants to see you again in hopes that you'll be more relaxed and be more like yourself. Or she just legitimately had a good time and wants to see you again.

Either way, it sounds promising to me.

 

[Saga]

my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

 

[Aldo]

My advice is to perform that battery trick (the one in your avatar) on your next date. It will impress her.

 

[RoJoHen]

my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

I did that after the date.

My advice is to perform that battery trick (the one in your avatar) on your next date. It will impress her.

I only bust that out on special occasions.

 

[Kelso]

I think we need an activity. Sitting at a table trying to come up with topics of conversation can get a little trying.

This is the solution. When I was dating, I found that an activity before dinner (putt-putt, bowling, roller skating, etc.) got the energy going and made dinner less awkward. Also, if you run out of conversation topics, you can talk about the shared activity.

Just have fun with it. Dating can be a blast.

 

[sidious618]

my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Save that for marriage.

 

[Ethros]

Tip- playing thumb wars/wrestling whilst drunk is a great way to initiate intimateness. It's funny, you're both laughing, your physically close, and its easy to lead into a kiss with.
Discovered this about a while ago and now use it quite a bit

 

[Tialeoni]

Tip- playing thumb wars/wrestling whilst drunk is a great way to initiate intimateness. It's funny, you're both laughing, your physically close, and its easy to lead into a kiss with.
Discovered this about a while ago and now use it quite a bit

good for you i agree it's great to fun fight and i love outdoor play also .
i must admit with my guy i don't need any reason to kiss and if i want a kiss him i do and vice versa and that was from us first getting together . If your totally comfortable with someone everything just comes natural i think .
Think it helps also if you have lot's in common
Glad your having fun

 

[defiantfan]

My advice to you is to not judge the relationship based on the first few dates. I once went out with this guy and the first date was horrible and awkward and we were sending each other the wrong messages completely. The second date wasn't much easier and after a few weeks into knowing each other I actually got mono - he didn't, but I was incredibly annoyed with his hovering. We will be celebrating our 9th anniversary in 11 days and I am grateful everyday for him and our two boys. We laugh about the early awkward dates and horrible communication. Just give it time.

 

[propita]

You’re getting good feedback here. Since most posters seem to think you’ve done okay and things went well, I think you can believe it.

If you’re worried about conversation, posters are right, do a (light) activity first; nothing requiring heavy effort. Who wants to be all sweaty (too early for that in your relationship)? How about something that involves walking but that you can break away from at any time? A crafts fair or museum? Bowling or similar activities good, unless one of you is uber-competitive. That can really ruin things.

 

[Gaith]

Congrats on what sounds like a big step into the dating world, hombre! It's always great to hear of a fellow Trekker enjoying some success.

It was a pretty pleasant experience. I guess I was just hoping for us to click a little more. I can't speak for her, but I know I was a lot more reserved than I usually am, and it just seemed a little disingenuous for me to be acting that way.

I suspect that you're a bit short on confidence, which is only natural for those of us without much dating experience. I discuss the matter of gaining confidence extensively in the Hitchhiker's Guide to Dating 21st-Century Women, which you might enjoy reading.

Bottom line: it helps to have a goal in mind. You've written several posts of how unsure you were about the proceedings, but how do you feel about her? Is she girlfriend material? Would you like to wake up next to her sometime soon? If you answer yes to either of those questions, you'd probably like to kiss her. Since you've already done an evening date, I agree with those suggesting a daytime activity next time around, particularly with the time delay in between (during which you should send a few friendly texts at least). After that, though, comes the third date, and you should definitely aim for a kiss by the end of that one at the latest.

Good luck!

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I wouldn't say you should "aim for" something by a certain date and if it doesn't happen, consider the whole thing a failure. It is not a failure for something to grow at its own pace.