TOS Caption Contest #238: Pimp-Slapped!

[Nerys Myk]

Machine Gun Picard Tours the Caption Contests

PICARD: Die 1990s superman scum!!!!!

His next stop

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Well, it's just like you always warned me. You made a face and it froze that way."

Amanda: "You damn Vulcans...always have to be right, don't you?"

 

[Isis]

The Star Trek-Hullabaloo crossover was not well received.

 

[LeadHead]

M'Benga: That's for making me sound like an idiot during the Kalandan incident!




McCoy: (off screen) No Spock, that's not what she meant by angry sex.



Kirk: You shouldn't slap me. I like that.




Khan's Henchman: And to prove how strong I am, I'll slap an unarmed person.

Spock: You guys are really just jerks, you know that?



Spock: (thinking) At least she's not using fathers belt.

Someone told Kirk to slap himself silly, Kirk didn't realize they didn't mean it literally.

 

[NathanielM]

Spock: That will surfice Doctor, You know vulcans like that too much.









Spock: You are the monster! Admit it! < slaps crater>



Kirk: OOOF! <Damn I shouldn't have called her a bitch>





I said show me the money biaattch!




Amanda: You are so illogical when you are on your highhorse!

Kirk: oh man that feels good.

 

[LeadHead]

Amanda: That's for sounding like Wesley!

Beverly: That's for saying you're better than Spock!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Spock: Why should I do what you say when your hormones are out of balance? It is not logical!

(smack!)

 

[Vassa]

Kirk: Hark! What light through yonder window breaks?

Voiceover: It would be 58 years before another production of Romeo and Juliet was staged on the Enterprise.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Yodelayheehoo!!!

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk doing the 70's Robot dance.

 

[Isis]

Kirk: Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

 

[Isis]

Spock: "You really know how to ruin a dream, doctor. I was just about to calculate the value of pi."





Spock (to self): "Something tells me this chick is just not that into me."

 

[Bob Karo]

Spock: Look out! This is an imposter.

McCoy (os): Damnit Spock! We've been over this. You were right that one time. The last half dozen times you just got charged with simple battery.

 

[Isis]

Uhura: "Hey, wait. It wasn't my fault. The Platonians made me kiss the captain."

 

[Isis]

Man hitting Uhura: "Lady, watch the fashion show or die!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Spock! That's not what I meant when I said you should try and hit on her!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura: "Better think twice, bub! Your pimp hand may be strong, but my bitch knee is stronger!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: I'm... a little teapot. Short... and stout. Here... IS my handle. Here is my spout.

 

[Captain Crow]

Nimoy: WHERE'S MY BIKE!!

[smacks Spock with his own hand]
M’Benga, giggling: Quite hitting yourself.
[smacks Spock with his own hand]
M’Benga, giggling: Quite hitting yourself.
[smacks Spock with his own hand]
M’Benga, giggling: Quite hitting yourself.

Joan Crawford: ...NO WIRE HANGERS EV...

Spock: SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN WIRE HANGERS!