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TOS Caption Contest #233: Spocked and Loaded!

A.V.I.A.F.

Captain
Thank-you to all who entered and helped stick it to them damn bureaucrats! Here are:

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Continuity’s a bitch...
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HEDFORD: No!!!! No!!!!! You've got to take me with you! When he gets older he'll be all tall and gangly and look like Stretch Cunningham!!!!

The wisdom of “The Gipper” continues to be relevant in the 23rd century...
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Ferris: "Captain Kirk? I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you!"
Kirk: "Oh, crap!"

The role of “Ambassador Fox” is now being played by Tommy DeVito...
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fox: there he goes again, chatting up a member of his senior staff. and what am I left doing? that's right, giving a handjob to a lift... you know what kirk? SCREW YOU

Our Photoshop winners this week are:

Wait till she finds out about the hidden webcam...
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Hedford was clearly overreacting, but what was Ferris to do?


Kirk: "Was it really all that bad? So what... he saw you naked."

Could have been worse; could have been Aquaman...
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Kirk: "Sorry, we already have a Captain on this ship: Me."

CA: "But I'm a hero!"

Kirk: "Sorry, me again."


.

I think she’d rather have the Sakuro’s back...
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KIRK: Nancy thought the threesome would be with Spock and myself.

UHURA: That explains the sobbing.

Congratulations to the winners! Thanks to all who entered! This week: the computer freezes in the middle of Spock’s slide presentation (I have not doctored this photo, it came out this way when I paused the episode); Spock sends out two redshirts to pick up some beer; and Spock tries to explain the dead cleaning-lady on the laboratory floor. Have at it!










 
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Spock: There's something familiar about this place. Those buildings over there...You two go over there and take a better look. Try not to fall off the ledge.
 
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Spock: "Eenie meanie minie moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go--"
Security Guard(left): "Spock, enough already! I'll go, OK?"
 
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Carl Spock: "Peace and love, peace and love."

(Yeah, it'd be better if I knew how to 'shop the Afro on him, or cut out the Redshirts and insert Ringo Starr, but, oh well...)
 
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Spock "it appears, Captain, this planet is rated "Triple X" ...

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McCoy-"Dammit, Jim!! Can't you contain yourself for ONE DAMN MINUTE??
Kirk- "But Bones, I have a reputation about these things..besides, she IS female!"
 
Thanks for the win, A.V.I.A.F.!



Spock: "Planet Exo-III. And, if I recall correctly, they have a massage parlor there that is just...ooo-la-la!"


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Spock: "Two! That's right, two weeks!"
Security #1: "You're telling me this Fife guy has only been sheriff here for two weeks?!"
Security #2: "My God! Look at this place!"
 
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Security Guard (left): "What the... is he giving us last rites?"
Security Guard (right): "Oh damned, I forgot. Man, we've got red shirts on!"
 
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McCoy: "She's completely unconscious, Jim. Like she was given a Vulcan neck pinch."
Kirk: "Spock, is this true?"
Spock: "Captain, I do need to practice it once in a while. It has been a few episodes since the last one."
 
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Spock: "Captain, in the gaming customs of many cultures, the phrase 'hit me' merely means that the player would like another card."
Kirk: "Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that?!"
 
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Spock: "Look, Captain, it's all up there in that Powerpoint slide I prepared for you. Do you really need me to explain it to you?"

All: "YES!"

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Spock: "Look over there! A three-headed monkey!"

Redshirt with receding hairline: "Sir, I didn't buy that line when Ensign Threepwood tried it on me last week."

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Kirk: "Probable cause of death?"

McCoy: "Autoerotic aphexiation."

Kirk: "What?!"

McCoy: "You said 'probable,' Jim, not 'definite.'"
 
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SPOCK: The logical thing to do is beam down Nurse Chapel and let her look for Dr. Korby. Meanwhile, we warp the Hell out of orbit.


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SPOCK: Yes, two, and they stand up like this.


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SPOCK: I instinctively used the Vulcan Roofie Grip.
 



Kirk: Report.

Spock: Respiration, zero. Synaptic frequencies from the delta to the omicron ranges, all zero. Temperature, 30 degrees Celsius and dropping. Chance of recovery, zero.

McCoy: In other words, she's dead, Jim.

Spock: I believe I just said that, Doctor.
 
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Spock: EXO-III, while only recently explored by people has been known to us for quite some time. If I may direct you to this graphic I found in a 4th grade science textbook....
 
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