I feel slightly betrayed. (boring work winge update)

[K'Ehleyr]

To continue my work winge ~ an update...

We are short staffed. Mainly on Mondays ~ we can use the boys from the shop for evenings etc. New boss employed another member of staff ~ who can't work Mondays

She then turned to me and said She was re-doing the rota and I would be doing the Mondays. Well, sorry, but thats not what I signed up for. I like my days off to run concurrently; Sun, Mon, Tues. Not Tues off, Thurs off, Sun off. I like a long break!

So she went running to the owner "K'Eh won't play with me on Mondays" ~ It's not just me She's ratted out, she's also ran to him about the boys from downstairs who are basically helping us out.

So now the owner faced me up and asked why I wouldn't change ~ "Because I have my rota and it's not my fault She cannot employ a person to cover the hours that we need covering"

I see both sides to the story:

I admit that I have a problem with authority.
I should not complain and should have taken the job, but it was 'sticky' financially and personally. ~ Also I would have ended up killing golfers

T'other side:

I do not like her attitude.
I don't think she's up to the job.
I'm basically just better than her (yes, I know you can't complain and should have taken the job!)
It's all gone to her head ~ Power! "My staff, My fridge, My hours"... just gets my hackles up.
It's my rota. How can you not just employ people for the hours you need?
I've been here longer than you so 'Go Fish'.

But to make a basic mistake on employing someone that cannot work the hours required and then expecting me to change my rota ~ surely that's not right?

So I spent this afternoon chatting with a regular golfer (one of the 10 - 2 club) who had bought his early two 20 year old grandsons up for lunch. We flirted and I told his grandsons that they had a wonderful grandad. ~ They paid for lunch.

And spent the rest of the afternoon gossiping with 2 ladies who had pretended to come to play golf, but ended up just chatting and were delighted when I took over a pitcher of water and glasses to them and invited me to join them.

I like the job, I like most of the customers, I just can't like my 'boss'.

Also... tomorrow I have to give a grievance card to a be passed on to one of our members that sadly passed away this week. He was a lovely man.

How do you deal with horrible bosses? How many times can you 'bite your tongue'?
Am I being unreasonable?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

How do you deal with horrible bosses?

The same way I deal with everything else that pisses me off. I exercise my right to be the most gear-grindingly passive-aggressive powder-keg of a man that has ever been known to the human population. I want my bosses to think that if they look at me the wrong way, I'll explode. Because it's true, ya know.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

It's all gone to her head ~ Power! "My staff, My fridge, My hours"... just gets my hackles up.

Yes, sadly that's quite familiar. My mother complains about the same thing - some people respond to any sort of responsibility over affairs involving others as an implicit confirmation of their natural potential for leadership. So they assume they are automatically an authority, to be respected for innate qualities rather than how well they actually do the work. Sadly, it also means they avoid actual responsibility and fob it off on the "underlings". Hence assuming you'd just accept a day-change without asking and responding by going upstairs when you wouldn't. My mother's less firm than you (lacks Klingon fortitude), and has often ended up working on schedules at odds with what she signed up for, because of these sort of re-arrangings.

 

[PurpleLady]

Well if your personality can handle it, kill them with kindness and be totally polite but firm. That's what I do. The more politer I get the more ticked off I usually am. haha

However, I've found if you don't sound argumentative and present your side just like you did on here, then the owner may hear a different story. You may not like your boss and nothing says you have to in order to like a job, but you're only making your life more difficult by being so aggressive.

The owner, and I'm sure this boss, understand that seniority counts for something. It was more the way that you said it I'm sure that got the hackles going. No new person should be allowed to get a shift over a senior employee.

 

[Amaris]

K'eh, it was important that you stood up and presented your dissatisfaction with the situation. While it usually won't lead to anything in your favor (though I have been surprised before), many bosses run roughshod over their employees because their employees choose to silently fume instead of voice their concerns, so when something comes out of the blue, they honestly didn't know those employees were so upset.

 

[Jadzia]

I don't think she's up to the job.

It's possible that she suspects this of herself. Which could explain why power appears to have gone to her head... it's her way of trying to prove to herself that she is up to the job.

Expressions like "My staff, My fridge, My hours" are statements of control. She uses these for her own benefit to reassure herself that she is the manager, and is in control. Only those who feel they are not in control have a need for such reassurance.

Which leads us onto this...

So she went running to the owner "K'Eh won't play with me on Mondays"

It's possible she feels threatened by you.



It is good to be strong headed. Because whatever else you lose, you won't lose your self respect, and that is more valuable than anything.

 

[RobertVA]

Is "winge" a UK/British Commonwealth spelling (like the "u" in "colour" vs the US "color" version)? Until seeing it here on this board I always saw it spelled "Whine".

The "US English" spell check I'm using certainly doesn't like "colour" OR "winge".

 

[Jadzia]

Is "winge" a UK/British Commonwealth spelling (like the "u" in "colour" vs the US "color" version)? Until seeing it here on this board I always saw it spelled "Whine".

The "US English" spell check I'm using certainly doesn't like "colour" OR "winge".

Winge is pronounced with a J at the end to rhyme with hinge and binge. It's a different word than whine, and with a slightly different meaning. To winge is to complain about something, as a result of being upset. It carries negative connotations, implying that the complaining is over the top and unwanted, or that the person is over sensitive and shouldn't be so upset.

To whine is less judgemental, simply an expression of upset. Dogs whine. Children winge.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

How do you deal with horrible bosses?

The same way I deal with everything else that pisses me off. I exercise my right to be the most gear-grindingly passive-aggressive powder-keg of a man that has ever been known to the human population. I want my bosses to think that if they look at me the wrong way, I'll explode. Because it's true, ya know.

Oh MLB ~ I have perfected the 'don't F with me' look!
and I also give the underlings free cookies

It's all gone to her head ~ Power! "My staff, My fridge, My hours"... just gets my hackles up.

Yes, sadly that's quite familiar. My mother complains about the same thing - some people respond to any sort of responsibility over affairs involving others as an implicit confirmation of their natural potential for leadership. So they assume they are automatically an authority, to be respected for innate qualities rather than how well they actually do the work. Sadly, it also means they avoid actual responsibility and fob it off on the "underlings". Hence assuming you'd just accept a day-change without asking and responding by going upstairs when you wouldn't. My mother's less firm than you (lacks Klingon fortitude), and has often ended up working on schedules at odds with what she signed up for, because of these sort of re-arrangings.

I'm sure this is Her first taste of 'management' and sadly it appears she didn't do the course of how to handle people.
A little please and thank you goes a long way.

She also has a family consisting of all males ~ which I do, so we're used to doing everything and bossing people about (usually to no point ~ especially when it comes to Sir Squeak the cat!), but that may be where her "implicit confirmation of their natural potential for leadership" comes from?

And DN, I think you may be right, my Klingon fortitude is helping

I hope your Mum get's on ok with her job. It is a thin line we walk between being assertive and unemployed, unfortunately.

Well if your personality can handle it, kill them with kindness and be totally polite but firm. That's what I do. The more politer I get the more ticked off I usually am. haha

However, I've found if you don't sound argumentative and present your side just like you did on here, then the owner may hear a different story. You may not like your boss and nothing says you have to in order to like a job, but you're only making your life more difficult by being so aggressive.

The owner, and I'm sure this boss, understand that seniority counts for something. It was more the way that you said it I'm sure that got the hackles going. No new person should be allowed to get a shift over a senior employee.

PL, ~ I think that's the way to go at the moment.

It may hurt but I can always pretend to go to the cellar for more ice and instead invite Josh (very hot! and fun ~ knows who Sheldon is) in for a beer

K'eh, it was important that you stood up and presented your dissatisfaction with the situation. While it usually won't lead to anything in your favor (though I have been surprised before), many bosses run roughshod over their employees because their employees choose to silently fume instead of voice their concerns, so when something comes out of the blue, they honestly didn't know those employees were so upset.

Thanks JA. I am not scared of owner, I know I'm better at my job than She is (see me ringing my bell ) but I do not like people going behind my back and I know he likes me too because I introduced the xylophone method of ordering.

I don't think she's up to the job.

It's possible that she suspects this of herself. Which could explain why power appears to have gone to her head... it's her way of trying to prove to herself that she is up to the job.

Expressions like "My staff, My fridge, My hours" are statements of control. She uses these for her own benefit to reassure herself that she is the manager, and is in control. Only those who feel they are not in control have a need for such reassurance.

Which leads us onto this...

So she went running to the owner "K'Eh won't play with me on Mondays"

It's possible she feels threatened by you.



It is good to be strong headed. Because whatever else you lose, you won't lose your self respect, and that is more valuable than anything.

Oh crickey Jadzia, are you ever wrong?

I totally concur, I think she's out of her depth. I don't want the gig, but also I'm not going to be pushed around because She's incapable.

And thank you for that last comment

 

[Jadzia]

Oh crickey Jadzia, are you ever wrong?

I'm always wrong.

 

[Maestro]

Perhaps you could negotiate: Offer to play ball on Monday, but then you get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off.

 

[smiki]

I'm always wrong.

^If you're always wrong, then this sentence is also wrong, and if it's wrong then you're sometimes right, and if you're sometimes right, the above sentence is wrong, and if it's wrong you're.....

Oh, don't mind me, my processor is not working properly...

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Oh crickey Jadzia, are you ever wrong?

I'm always wrong.

See below ~ smiki may be correct

Perhaps you could negotiate: Offer to play ball on Monday, but then you get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off.

I was thinking that way but there is no way they will get someone to step into Saturdays and they know that my Sundays are 'brunch day' ~ it's the only day I get to dig the Men out of bed! Because I'm cooking, which I don't do enough all week

I'm always wrong.

^If you're always wrong, then this sentence is also wrong, and if it's wrong then you're sometimes right, and if you're sometimes right, the above sentence is wrong, and if it's wrong you're.....

Oh, don't mind me, my processor is not working properly...

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

 

[WillsBabe]

Are you contracted to work the days you work, or is it a case of you have so many hours and you and your employer have agreed that they can be worked on the days you are working? When I worked in retail many moons ago, my contract said I was employed for Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays (I know, lousy). Where I work now, we have contracts for hours, eg 21 hours, and the staff member and the management agree informally the days the staff member is to work, but management can ask them to work different days.

I can't say whether you are being unreasonable or not, but it's good to be flexible and give a little to the management who will often give back (if you have someone reasonable in charge). I'd be worried though, if I were in your position that if I agreed to do a few Mondays or the odd one or two here and there that it would get forgotten that you'd want to return to your current working arrangements.

Sounds like you work in a very prickly work place.

 

[MacLeod]

Wills has already beaten me to the punch, it all comes down to wait is said in your contract of employment. Are you contracted for hours or days?

If they regonise a union, there might be something in the agreement that if you work certain days for so long, they then become your contracted days.

Of course she couldn't have gone about it in a better way, after all you get more with a kind word, and more importantly a happy staff is a productive staff.

But I agree it does seem to be a basic mistake not to employee someone who can work the day(s) you need covering. Of course t

 

[Trilliam]

Is "winge" a UK/British Commonwealth spelling (like the "u" in "colour" vs the US "color" version)? Until seeing it here on this board I always saw it spelled "Whine".

The "US English" spell check I'm using certainly doesn't like "colour" OR "winge".

Winge is pronounced with a J at the end to rhyme with hinge and binge. It's a different word than whine, and with a slightly different meaning. To winge is to complain about something, as a result of being upset. It carries negative connotations, implying that the complaining is over the top and unwanted, or that the person is over sensitive and shouldn't be so upset.

To whine is less judgemental, simply an expression of upset. Dogs whine. Children winge.

Children wHinge and wHine. It drive their mothers to drink wine.

 

[Jadzia]

I'm always wrong.

^If you're always wrong, then this sentence is also wrong, and if it's wrong then you're sometimes right, and if you're sometimes right, the above sentence is wrong, and if it's wrong you're.....

Oh, don't mind me, my processor is not working properly...

Those are forbidden logics smiki! Just a few more steps and you'd have postulated the universe out of existence!

 

[Haggis and tatties]

To continue my work winge ~ an update...

We are short staffed. Mainly on Mondays ~ we can use the boys from the shop for evenings etc. New boss employed another member of staff ~ who can't work Mondays

She then turned to me and said She was re-doing the rota and I would be doing the Mondays. Well, sorry, but thats not what I signed up for. I like my days off to run concurrently; Sun, Mon, Tues. Not Tues off, Thurs off, Sun off. I like a long break!

So she went running to the owner "K'Eh won't play with me on Mondays" ~ It's not just me She's ratted out, she's also ran to him about the boys from downstairs who are basically helping us out.

So now the owner faced me up and asked why I wouldn't change ~ "Because I have my rota and it's not my fault She cannot employ a person to cover the hours that we need covering"

I see both sides to the story:

I admit that I have a problem with authority.
I should not complain and should have taken the job, but it was 'sticky' financially and personally. ~ Also I would have ended up killing golfers

T'other side:

I do not like her attitude.
I don't think she's up to the job.
I'm basically just better than her (yes, I know you can't complain and should have taken the job!)
It's all gone to her head ~ Power! "My staff, My fridge, My hours"... just gets my hackles up.
It's my rota. How can you not just employ people for the hours you need?
I've been here longer than you so 'Go Fish'.

But to make a basic mistake on employing someone that cannot work the hours required and then expecting me to change my rota ~ surely that's not right?

So I spent this afternoon chatting with a regular golfer (one of the 10 - 2 club) who had bought his early two 20 year old grandsons up for lunch. We flirted and I told his grandsons that they had a wonderful grandad. ~ They paid for lunch.

And spent the rest of the afternoon gossiping with 2 ladies who had pretended to come to play golf, but ended up just chatting and were delighted when I took over a pitcher of water and glasses to them and invited me to join them.

I like the job, I like most of the customers, I just can't like my 'boss'.

Also... tomorrow I have to give a grievance card to a be passed on to one of our members that sadly passed away this week. He was a lovely man.

How do you deal with horrible bosses? How many times can you 'bite your tongue'?
Am I being unreasonable?

I do my work and more at times, and i will help out when asked......but i don't ever cow down to these people especially if they start to try and mess me about with stuff similar to what they are trying to do with you.......that's also why i keep my distance at all times with everybody on a personal level, that way when the shit hits the fan, and it does on more occasions than not, i can sit back and enjoy all the hassle that others have willingly gotten themselves into with their nasty gossip and back stabbing of their so called co workers friends.

I cant really advise you on your issue other than if you are in a union then go see your rep as soon as....but usually if you have signed a contract for certain days and hours to work then it would be hard for them to change that without your consent.....and its made doubly stupid because they just hired new staff who cant do Mondays.

Anyway i hope you get its sorted out.

 

[smiki]

Those are forbidden logics smiki! Just a few more steps and you'd have postulated the universe out of existence!

Phew... you got me worried there for a second... thankfully for the universe, I turned off my processor just in the nick of time.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

I didn't dare turn it on again, the universe might explode!!! KAABLAAMOOO!!!!!
But I believe my processor would have overheated first.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Are you contracted to work the days you work, or is it a case of you have so many hours and you and your employer have agreed that they can be worked on the days you are working? When I worked in retail many moons ago, my contract said I was employed for Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays (I know, lousy). Where I work now, we have contracts for hours, eg 21 hours, and the staff member and the management agree informally the days the staff member is to work, but management can ask them to work different days.

I can't say whether you are being unreasonable or not, but it's good to be flexible and give a little to the management who will often give back (if you have someone reasonable in charge). I'd be worried though, if I were in your position that if I agreed to do a few Mondays or the odd one or two here and there that it would get forgotten that you'd want to return to your current working arrangements.

Sounds like you work in a very prickly work place.

I'm actually not sure *rummages for contract*. Ah... I did not actually sign the contract because I refute the fact that we do not get sick pay, do not get extra money for working bank holidays and have to wash our own uniforms. Ok the last one is petty, but I'm pretty sure the first two are illegal.

I have been very flexible, (I'm going in early tomorrow cos there's a big competition) I am happy to work the odd Monday and have in the past for the previous boss.

I think it's just a personality clash with New Boss.

Is "winge" a UK/British Commonwealth spelling (like the "u" in "colour" vs the US "color" version)? Until seeing it here on this board I always saw it spelled "Whine".

The "US English" spell check I'm using certainly doesn't like "colour" OR "winge".

Winge is pronounced with a J at the end to rhyme with hinge and binge. It's a different word than whine, and with a slightly different meaning. To winge is to complain about something, as a result of being upset. It carries negative connotations, implying that the complaining is over the top and unwanted, or that the person is over sensitive and shouldn't be so upset.

To whine is less judgemental, simply an expression of upset. Dogs whine. Children winge.

Children wHinge and wHine. It drive their mothers to drink wine.

Totally True

To continue my work winge ~ an update...

We are short staffed. Mainly on Mondays ~ we can use the boys from the shop for evenings etc. New boss employed another member of staff ~ who can't work Mondays

She then turned to me and said She was re-doing the rota and I would be doing the Mondays. Well, sorry, but thats not what I signed up for. I like my days off to run concurrently; Sun, Mon, Tues. Not Tues off, Thurs off, Sun off. I like a long break!

So she went running to the owner "K'Eh won't play with me on Mondays" ~ It's not just me She's ratted out, she's also ran to him about the boys from downstairs who are basically helping us out.

So now the owner faced me up and asked why I wouldn't change ~ "Because I have my rota and it's not my fault She cannot employ a person to cover the hours that we need covering"

I see both sides to the story:

I admit that I have a problem with authority.
I should not complain and should have taken the job, but it was 'sticky' financially and personally. ~ Also I would have ended up killing golfers

T'other side:

I do not like her attitude.
I don't think she's up to the job.
I'm basically just better than her (yes, I know you can't complain and should have taken the job!)
It's all gone to her head ~ Power! "My staff, My fridge, My hours"... just gets my hackles up.
It's my rota. How can you not just employ people for the hours you need?
I've been here longer than you so 'Go Fish'.

But to make a basic mistake on employing someone that cannot work the hours required and then expecting me to change my rota ~ surely that's not right?

So I spent this afternoon chatting with a regular golfer (one of the 10 - 2 club) who had bought his early two 20 year old grandsons up for lunch. We flirted and I told his grandsons that they had a wonderful grandad. ~ They paid for lunch.

And spent the rest of the afternoon gossiping with 2 ladies who had pretended to come to play golf, but ended up just chatting and were delighted when I took over a pitcher of water and glasses to them and invited me to join them.

I like the job, I like most of the customers, I just can't like my 'boss'.

Also... tomorrow I have to give a grievance card to a be passed on to one of our members that sadly passed away this week. He was a lovely man.

How do you deal with horrible bosses? How many times can you 'bite your tongue'?
Am I being unreasonable?

I do my work and more at times, and i will help out when asked......but i don't ever cow down to these people especially if they start to try and mess me about with stuff similar to what they are trying to do with you.......that's also why i keep my distance at all times with everybody on a personal level, that way when the shit hits the fan, and it does on more occasions than not, i can sit back and enjoy all the hassle that others have willingly gotten themselves into with their nasty gossip and back stabbing of their so called co workers friends.

I cant really advise you on your issue other than if you are in a union then go see your rep as soon as....but usually if you have signed a contract for certain days and hours to work then it would be hard for them to change that without your consent.....and its made doubly stupid because they just hired new staff who cant do Mondays.

Anyway i hope you get its sorted out.

When old boss left I invited 3 of the girls for dinner to celebrate. New boss protested that she could not eat any of the food. H&T, I think your so right with distancing yourself.
I do not work for a big company, there is no union ~it's very much 'stick up for yourself' ~ I just don't need the hassle!
Gosh I thought I was scarey enough that people wouldn't even try but New Boss is playing the 'everyones being horrible to me' card.

Those are forbidden logics smiki! Just a few more steps and you'd have postulated the universe out of existence!

Phew... you got me worried there for a second... thankfully for the universe, I turned off my processor just in the nick of time.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

I didn't dare turn it on again, the universe might explode!!! KAABLAAMOOO!!!!!
But I believe my processor would have overheated first.