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These Hot Flashes are Killing Me!

Feeling horrible once a month seems bad enough, but it seems incredibly unfair to have to go through more at the end of it!

I lived through menopause without any pills or creams or soy. It was more annoying than anything else. The mood swings were the worst but it got so that I stopped caring about being a good girl and enjoyed not holding back. And now, without monthlies to plan for---it's great!! I don't have to worry about getting pregnant, so our sex life has just been rejuvenated.
Menopause can be crappy while you're in it, but once you come out the other side---it's great!!
 
My wife is going through the same thing, Randi.

Ditto. I wonder if there are support groups for hot-flashers who suffer these awful symptoms, and for husbands of hot-flashers who experience second-hand suffering!

My wife gets her hot flashes at night. She tosses and turns and thrashes about, causing her sleepless nights and also ensuring that I don't get any sleep either.

A lot of her symptoms overlap with those of pregnancy -- fatigue, swollen breasts, and missing periods. The swollen breasts thing would be great except they're too sore to be touched, which is killing this particular horny male. :lol:

Every night when the flashes appear, it's like I'm married to a werewolf who's undergoing a freakish transformation. Of course I made the mistake of telling her that, and I deservedly got reamed by my wife-wolf.

We can only take comfort in knowing This Too Shall Pass.
 
"Wife-wolf"... :lol:

Please don't tell her I call her that! I'd be sleeping on the couch for a month. :eek:

It seems like a bad plan. What is the point of it all?

You mean why did God/Nature design women to go through this phase? Good question.

There's probably no good answer. The end of the a woman's child-bearing years probably should be marked by physical changes, if only so that males interested in reproducing could visually see that they should look elsewhere.

But why women should have to suffer is beyond me.
 
I, too, have started the signs for menapause early - they started at 42, and I'm now 43 and it's still touch and go - I get hot flashes on occasion - more like in a cycle - so instead of a period I get the flashes and insomnia like mad. My cheeks go pure red, as does my chest, like Randi's.

It's like PMS X 1, 000!

Then, I go back to my regularly scheduled fertility. Then it starts all over again. :lol:
 
Try isoflavones--a natural version of estrogen available at places selling homeopathic OTC stuff, like Costco, cvs, etc. There's a commercial product called Estroven.

48 and no hot flashes yet--except as a side-effect from taking niacin. Not the same thing though; mine is "merely" flushing, but it sure gets hot as hell!
 
I just got off the phone with her about five minutes ago she said that she got her tips from online, she just sent me the link since she still had it bookmarked just in case they came back.

But from this she ate lots of soy: soy beans, soy milk(which she has fallen in love with), and tofu.

She bought over-the-counter progesterone cream.

She jogged for at least 30 minutes a day since exercise helps.

And she watched her diet to see if anything she was eating made the hot flashes occur.

She got all of that off of this site, and there's a few more options she didn't try.
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/hotflashes/a/nomorehotflashs.htm

Thank you for the link and tips! I've gotten back on the treadmill after a 5 month or so absence, but so far it isn't helping. And in fact, even with the eating well and exercise, i'm still packing on the pounds...right in the middle of my body, which is a place i've NEVER gained weight! It is so freaking frustrating and i swear, some days i think, the hell with it, i'm just gonna let myself go! What's the point of putting myself through this torture if i'm still going to gain weight? But, i know it's for the best if i keep it up. So, i am...so far.

As for the soy, i've been in PERI-menopause (yes folks, peri!) for about TEN BLOODY YEARS now!!! I've had night sweats for so long, but then a couple of years ago someone suggested soy to me. And with drinking soy milk and other soy products have been able to keep the night sweats at bay. But no longer. It really is awful. I don't sleep and i wake up DRENCHED. It's no laughing matter.

YR, I slammed into menopause a year ago December. I cannot take soy or hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or supplements like black cohosh because of the cancer. I highly recommend drinking water -- as in 10-12 glasses a day. (It might even help with the weight gain.)

Other symptoms: If you have insomnia, you can try melatonin. It didn't work too well for me, but other women swear by it. Night sweats: sounds corny, but try a fan. Or a wet washcloth on your neck, or google "Chillow" which is some sort of pillow cold pack.

Memory loss? . . . I'm sorry, what was the question?

All I can tell you is that it DOES go away, but really gradually. If you can, stay away from alcohol and caffeine for the time being. They really do make flashes worse. And hang in there.

Ooh i love the chillow idea. I will definitely look into that. I don't think i could do a fan because along with the sweats are CHILLS. Sorry to hear about the cancer problems you have had! {{{squishy hug}}} I've burned more than my share of brain cells, so i've had memory loss for a long time, but now? OMG. I can't remember anything. It actually scares me sometimes. We don't think we have alzheimers in the family (although we question whether or not my grandmother was undiagnosed)...so that runs through my mind as well.

I do drink a lot of water (and also cranberry juice), so that's covered. Sorry to hear you slammed into this lovely time too!

Menopause is a finite thing, like puberty and pregnancy. There may be long-term effects, in that I'm not sure anybody ever gets her full memory capacity back -- but that might be just old age, but for the most part, the acute, uncomfortable symptoms do go away. For some women, medication is involved; other women barely notice the difference. I would rather not have gone through it at 42, but now, a year later, it's not that big a deal.

OH MAN! At 42? Thank you for bringing that up, that it is finite. I have to remind myself of that, although with the 10 year peri-menopause i wonder how long it WILL last!

Feeling horrible once a month seems bad enough, but it seems incredibly unfair to have to go through more at the end of it!

You know, that's so true. WHY do women have these horrible constant changes throughout their lives, while men pretty much coast through without all the hormonal shit we have to go throught? UNFAIR is putting it lightly!!

Pregnancy feels like it's never ending.

But I've never had to deal with hit flashes during it, just horrid horrid morning sickness.

I loved being pregnant. I have to say, that's one thing men really miss out on. It's lovely, at least it was for me. (Sorry if you didn't love it! {{squish}})

But then you're done!

Maybe this year, I'll buy a white bathing suit and use it every day of the summer. See? Glass half full.

:lol:

I'm sure if I ever get pregnant, I'll be a total delight.

I thought it was! I hope if you do, it is as wonderful for you as it was for me! (Although i did have a short bout with morning sickness. LOL, i remember once i was watching a show and some kid put a banana in chocolate pudding and that was all i needed to go running to the bathroom barfing up my dinner!)

I refuse to believe this will ever happen to me.

:lol::lol::lol:

I lived through menopause without any pills or creams or soy. It was more annoying than anything else. The mood swings were the worst but it got so that I stopped caring about being a good girl and enjoyed not holding back. And now, without monthlies to plan for---it's great!! I don't have to worry about getting pregnant, so our sex life has just been rejuvenated.
Menopause can be crappy while you're in it, but once you come out the other side---it's great!!

Glad you lived through it without killing anyone!! :lol: We are also living through a nightmare with the DFIL (the Dread Father in Law), who may have to come live with us for a little while before we put him in a nursing home. My greatest fear is that i will beat him to death if he comes here right now. :lol: My mood swings can be deadly!)

The sex life thing hasn't been a problem for a long time as after my daughter was born my husband was 'fixed'. So i don't even have the dont-worry-about-pregnancy thing to look forward to! But i do remember how freeing THAT was!

My wife is going through the same thing, Randi.

Ditto. I wonder if there are support groups for hot-flashers who suffer these awful symptoms, and for husbands of hot-flashers who experience second-hand suffering!

My wife gets her hot flashes at night. She tosses and turns and thrashes about, causing her sleepless nights and also ensuring that I don't get any sleep either.


Every night when the flashes appear, it's like I'm married to a werewolf who's undergoing a freakish transformation. Of course I made the mistake of telling her that, and I deservedly got reamed by my wife-wolf.

We can only take comfort in knowing This Too Shall Pass.

Being married to a jedi master snorer, he has kept me awake for years! Now i'm keeping him awake with the tossing and turning. Sweet revenge! So sorry to hear though that your wife is experiencing this as well. Really, be understanding, that's all i can say. My poor husband isn't really "getting it" i fear. I don't think he understands how dreadful this really is.


I, too, have started the signs for menapause early - they started at 42, and I'm now 43 and it's still touch and go - I get hot flashes on occasion - more like in a cycle - so instead of a period I get the flashes and insomnia like mad. My cheeks go pure red, as does my chest, like Randi's.

It's like PMS X 1, 000!

Then, I go back to my regularly scheduled fertility. Then it starts all over again. :lol:

Oh wow! That does not sound nice! I'm sorry! At least my 'fertility' is really really on the downswing now. I am enjoying that much of it. And when your face and chest gets red in public...isn't it awful?!?!? OMG! If i am at the say, the checkout counter, and i light up like a xmas tree....OY! It's horrible!!

Try isoflavones--a natural version of estrogen available at places selling homeopathic OTC stuff, like Costco, cvs, etc. There's a commercial product called Estroven.

48 and no hot flashes yet--except as a side-effect from taking niacin. Not the same thing though; mine is "merely" flushing, but it sure gets hot as hell!


HEH. I tried niacin a few years back for the memory loss....OMFG! IT WAS HORRIBLE! I felt like my head was going to spontaneously COMBUST! I cannot ever do that stuff...ever!!! I will be asking my GP about the products out there....thank you for the suggestion!

Thanks everyone for your notes. I really do appreciate them. It is helpful to know i'm not the only one out there going through this. And like most of you said....i have to remind myself that this too shall pass!
 
I, too, have started the signs for menapause early - they started at 42, and I'm now 43 and it's still touch and go - I get hot flashes on occasion - more like in a cycle - so instead of a period I get the flashes and insomnia like mad. My cheeks go pure red, as does my chest, like Randi's.

It's like PMS X 1, 000!

Then, I go back to my regularly scheduled fertility. Then it starts all over again. :lol:

I'm 42, and I've been like this for a while. Some months what I call PMS is so bad in terms of fever and headaches I'm confined to bed for a day or two. I've been threatening to gouge my ovaries out with a plastic spoon for the entire time. I always put it down to my body not forgiving me for having given birth 3 times within 3 1/2 years, but sometimes I wonder if it's the menopause rearing its ugly head. Either way, it's no fun.
 
^Yikes! No gouging, please, that would be messy.

You have a good attitude, Randi, and hopefully you'll pass through this weird life phase soon.

... And when your face and chest gets red in public...isn't it awful?!?!? OMG! If i am at the say, the checkout counter, and i light up like a xmas tree....OY!

Well, if there's Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you should move to Portland, ME and become Randi the red-chested Maine dear.

<< groan >> sorry! :lol:
 
Try isoflavones--a natural version of estrogen available at places selling homeopathic OTC stuff, like Costco, cvs, etc. There's a commercial product called Estroven.

48 and no hot flashes yet--except as a side-effect from taking niacin. Not the same thing though; mine is "merely" flushing, but it sure gets hot as hell!


HEH. I tried niacin a few years back for the memory loss....OMFG! IT WAS HORRIBLE! I felt like my head was going to spontaneously COMBUST! I cannot ever do that stuff...ever!!! I will be asking my GP about the products out there....thank you for the suggestion!

Yeah, niacin can be bad if I screw up. MUST be on a full stomach and take a couple of baby aspirin. If I didn’t eat enough dinner, have a snack or another baby aspirin. Feels itchy, like a cactus is lightly touching you. And turning hot and red. All over. At worst, I’ve had some welts. The doctor said one patient called the office yelling, “That bitch (the doctor) is trying to kill me!” It was “just” a side-effect.
 
Try isoflavones--a natural version of estrogen available at places selling homeopathic OTC stuff, like Costco, cvs, etc. There's a commercial product called Estroven.

48 and no hot flashes yet--except as a side-effect from taking niacin. Not the same thing though; mine is "merely" flushing, but it sure gets hot as hell!


HEH. I tried niacin a few years back for the memory loss....OMFG! IT WAS HORRIBLE! I felt like my head was going to spontaneously COMBUST! I cannot ever do that stuff...ever!!! I will be asking my GP about the products out there....thank you for the suggestion!

Yeah, niacin can be bad if I screw up. MUST be on a full stomach and take a couple of baby aspirin. If I didn’t eat enough dinner, have a snack or another baby aspirin. Feels itchy, like a cactus is lightly touching you. And turning hot and red. All over. At worst, I’ve had some welts. The doctor said one patient called the office yelling, “That bitch (the doctor) is trying to kill me!” It was “just” a side-effect.
Here. This describes me, every day, post menopause.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzSaoN2LdfU[/yt]
 
sometimes it takes all my energy not to scream SHUT THE FUCK UP when someone is talking to me

I must have been menopausal since I was 16. I get that every day! :lol: Sounds like you are having a rough time. I can only offer sympathy, and another comment that your tattoo is awesome! :techman:
 
^ We ain't got time to bleed. ;)

But we do have our own kind of pain, you know. Like getting kicked in the nads, or being New York Mets fans. At this point I'm not sure which is worse. :lol:
 
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