TOS Caption Contest #220: Stick in the Mudd

[Gepard]

MUDD: "And when you push this button, 'Also Sprach Zarathustra' comes out of it."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: What is it?

MUDD: No idea. But I just hit the "active button". Whats the harm?

 

[UssGlenn]

SPOCK: The smoke from the Marijuana thread in Misc. is leaking into the TOS forum.

Kirk:There's something not right here... I feel cold. Death.
Mudd: That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
McCoy: What's in there?
Mudd: Only what you take with you.

KIRK: Wait, his skin is green, why is his wound red?

 

[Maurice]

'

BONES: What's that in there, Harry?
MUDD: Something wonderful.

 

[Isis]

Mudd: "Personally, I think the shoulder accents are really slenderizing. What do you guys think? Should I get this one?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Gaetano: "Wow a bit further down and..."

Spock: "Don't go there Mr Gaetano"

Boma: "Mother F.... "

Gaetano & Spock: "We know, we know"

Mudd: "Behold the foulest creature you'll ever lay eyes on! Amy Winehouse!"

Kirk: "Crap I was hoping it was Glenn Beck"

McCoy "I was thinking Justin Beiber"

 

[jep]

Emerson, Lake and Mudd:

"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!"



.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

'

BONES: What's that in there, Harry?
MUDD: Something wonderful.

Kirk: You mean that huge fetus floating in the very back.

 

[S'kai]

KIRK: Damn! Bones was right! Not all species have their genitals in the same place!

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "My God! The Ambassador is...dead. We'll have to...launch an investigation immediately...to determine the cause of death!"

Elaan: "There's a knife in his back."

Kirk: "True but...appearances can be...deceiving. We have to be sure..."

Elaan: "I'm pretty sure I shoved that thing straight into his back."

Kirk: "Yes, of course, but...you may be mistaken. We'll need at least a five man...judicial panel to...review...the situation."

Elaan: "You are a moron. And you talk funny."

Kirk: "We'll leave that...for the panel to decide."

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk: "The Ambassador, how could you?"

Elaan: "He was a pest and a bore."

Kirk: "But using one of our good steak knives? You couldn't use one of the old ones from the bottom drawer?

.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Okay, so now we're 0 days without a Diplomatic Incident. Thank you very much!

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Kirk: Why did you stab him?? I don't see the point.

 

[johcomp]

Kirk: Did you notice a sign, on the ship that said 'Dead Troian Storage'?!?!"

 

[Schistocerca]

It was down to the last three in RuPaul's Drag Race and things had started to get nasty.

 

[Schistocerca]

Next day Jim and Bones woke up in a trashed hotel room with a baby, a tiger, and a missing tooth, but with no memory of the night before.

 

[Hambone]

SPOCK: Once around the pole and she calls it a "show"? That's it...Yeoman Mears has got to go.

GAETANO: She dropped my dollar.

 

[Maurice]

'

BONES: What's that in there, Harry?
MUDD: Something wonderful.

Kirk: You mean that huge fetus floating in the very back.

BONES: Thank God. For a minute I thought I was having another LDS flashback.

 

[jep]

(Sound of velcro coming undone.)

Dohlman: "Oh my God, what are you doing?!?!"

Kirk: "I'm about to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Dohlman: "He's DEAD, you pervert!!!"

Kirk: "Hey, the body IS still warm... unlike you, you cold fish. And it's not like he's going to complain to anyone. Now, please give us some privacy."



.

 

[Redfern]

'

BONES: What's that in there, Harry?
MUDD: Something wonderful.

Kirk: You mean that huge fetus floating in the very back.

BONES: Thank God. For a minute I thought I was having another LDS flashback.

Mr. Kyle, off screen: Jolly good! Doctor Who is just starting!

*** *** ***

Sincerely,

Bill