TOS Caption Contest #220: Stick in the Mudd

[Rat Boy]

At long last, it's time for another caption contest. First, let's salute...

Hey, at least the smell is better on the bridge...

And, as always, in times of crisis and possible multiple casualties, Dr. McCoy could be found where he would be most needed. On the bridge.

It's a new tradition, but a tradition nonetheless...

Spock: We shall do combat over whether Abbreviations count in Scrabble!

Doctor Zoidberg: They Don't!

Nothing gets past Spock...

Spock: "I'm just sayin' Cap'n, this planet's dirt. They were living in dirt. They were playing in dirt. So why the fuck are their boots shinier than ours?"

Kirk: "Let it go Spock."

Spock: "I suppose some sort of a friendly angel came and kept their boots clean???"

Kirk: "Let it GO Spock!"


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Meanwhile, Linus looks on with blanket in hand...

During lunch, Charlie Brown tries to work up the nerve to talk to the little red-haired girl.

I just want to tell you Photoshoppers good luck, we're all counting on you...

Sulu: Sure is quit out there
Kirk: Sure is. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

KIRK: I dunno, Bones. Shoudn't you be in Sick Bay looking after Spock, in case he has a relapse or something?

MCCOY: Relapse? Please, who's the doctor here?

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we have Spock's plan of not sending red shirts into danger backfiring horribly, Harry Mudd trying to show off the latest fashions, and Petri getting proven right when he earlier called Elaan a backstabber. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Gaitano: "He's dead, Spock."

Spock: "Who died and made you Dr. McCoy?"

Boma: "Latimer, sir. It was in his will."

Spock: "Oh."

Mudd: "Behold the foulest creature you'll ever lay eyes on! Amy Winehouse!"

Kirk: "He's dead!"

Petri: "No I'm not."

*twists knife*

Kirk: "Now he's dead!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "I have an idea that may extricate us from this predicament. In the human vernacular, let's run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes."

Dead redshirt: "That's not very damned funny!"

Kirk: "What's in there?"
Mudd: "I don't know. It won't be photoshopped 'til Tuesday."

Kirk: "I think this man was stabbed to death."
Corpse: "No shit, Sherlock!"

 

[jep]

Mudd: "And this, gentlemen, be my wife."

Kirk: "Uh... that's not a woman, that's a black hole, Harry, the most destructive thing in the known universe."

McCoy: "As if there's a difference."


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[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Spock: Fascinating.

Boma: 'Fascinating?' A man is dead!

Spock: Yes, and for some reason the audience isn't surprised.

Mudd: Oh, This? This is where I keep mother.

Kirk: So that's where I left my stabbing knife!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Gaitano: It's like we're in the land of the giants!

Spock: Indeed, Mr. Gaitano.

Boma: Been there. Done that.

McCoy: What's this?
Mudd: The closet I came out of.

 

[jep]

Dohlman: "That pig deserved to die!"

Kirk: "Bullshit!! He wasn't even wearing a red shirt!"


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[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: There's gotta be a way to make this look like an accident.

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Mr. Boma, would you mind having something other than Franks 'N Beans on afternoons that you have an away mission?"

 

[Isis]

Kirk (to self): "He's looking a little green. I wonder if it was the Franks 'N Beans at lunch."

 

[Nerys Myk]

BOMA: We're effing screwed Gaitano. The only redshirts in this episode are a regular and a hot chick.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Gentlemen, we have officially been 'given the shaft'."


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[jep]

Boma: "What a terrible way to die."

Spock: "There are no "good ways" to die, Mr. Boma."

Boma: "What about at the hands of a jealous husband?"


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[Jonas Grumby]

Boma: "Good news and bad news, Mr. Spock. We finally got the shuttlecraft started...but she's burning an awful lot of oil!"
Spock: "So I see."

Mudd: "Of course, I have to give my android subjects lots of care and attention to keep them from becoming bored. This is our 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' closet."
McCoy: "You're a sick, sick man, Mudd."

Kirk: "Jesus, Elaan! You could have just told the guy he wasn't your type!"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Damn... I TOLD him to stay out of Sulu's "Special Closet", but the fool wouldn't listen. Were those nice clothes worth dying for, you dumb bastard?"


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[Smellincoffee]

Spock: A 'dancing' pole and a fog machine. This may fall more under Jim's area of expertise.

Kirk: If you have to stab, stab. Don't talk.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy: "These gaps in our reality are showing up with increasing frequency".

Kirk: "And you know what's going on, Mudd?"

Mudd: "After my daring escape from the Androids, I found my way through...to the mysterious realm of "backstage". Grease old Mudd's palm and he'll guide you through...maybe even get you a few minutes with the Costume Designer".

Elaan: "I thought that was a layered stawberry sponge cake, but it was his unconvincing wig instead. When I tried to take a slice, he resisted and I misjudged my aim"

Kirk: "You mean that's not a sponge cake? Damn, I was looking forward to that".

 

[Yeoman Randi]

w00t! Thanks for the win Ratboy!!

McCoy: So Harry, looks like the baby's due any day now.

Kirk: (whispering) I don't think he's pregnant you idiot!

McCoy: HEY! I'm a doctor, not a....a...well, ok.

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: They gave Mr. Latimer wood.
GAITANO: That's not what that means!

MUDD: And this is where I keep my honesty.

KIRK: I know Petri's a dish, but really...

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "So Harry, what have you been doing with yourself lately?"

Harry: "Oh, I've been keeping busy."

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