TOS Caption Contest #219: Staring Contest

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Nonsense, Spock, I'm not 'lousy with kids'! It's these kids that are lousy!"

 

[Bob Karo]

Kirk: So, let's recap. All the adults are dead. Our redshirts are missing, and the creepy half pints now have their boots. Spock, I'm starting to think there's something strange going on with these kids.

Spock: I recommend General Order 24, Captain.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: We shall do combat over whether Abbreviations count in Scrabble!

Doctor Zoidberg: They Don't!

Kirk: Bones...

McCoy: Sorry Jim, the DNA tests are definitive.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "This weapon seems rather bottom-heavy."
Stonn (OS): "So's your mama!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

Kirk's Worst Nightmare

Kids: "DADDY!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: What's this show called again?

SULU: "T J Hooker"

KIRK: I kinda like it.

 

[jep]

The bridge crew decided that watching the bulkhead paint peel really was preferable to sitting through one of Spocks lectures on Horta mating habits.


.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: On the screen Mister Sulu, there's some dark entity!

Sulu: Sorry Sir, we left the screen in freeze frame for a few hours. Now we literally have Reality TV burned into the Enterprise.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: So the ears are fake?

MCCOY: Told ya. You owe me fifty bucks.

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: Captain, they're requesting a ruling.

Kirk: Opinions?

Sulu: Looks clear cut to me.

McCoy: I'm with Sulu.

Kirk: Uhura, signal back, the penalty stands. 15 yards, 3rd down.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK:What's this?

SULU:I'm not sure.

KIRK:What's it about?

SULU:I don't know.

KIRK:Who's that?

SULU: I think the guy in the hat did something terrible.

KIRK:Like what?

SULU: You're so analytical! Sometimes you just have to let art... flow... over you.

 

[LeadHead]

Tonight on Celebrity Deathmatch.... The battle of the Galaxy! The toughest pointed eared man in all the universe goes up against the only person to be voted both a lover and a fighter... Spock vs. Kirk!

Judge Mills Lane: I want a good, clean fight. Now lets get it on!

Kids: Ashes, Ashes, All fall-

Kirk: Thanks for reminding me kids. Spock, we'll be cremating their parents. Get started.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: We're being blocked by a big flashing cube.
Kirk: Surely, you can't be serious?
Sulu: I am serious and don't call me Shirley.

 

[jep]

Sulu: "We're being blocked by a big flashing cube."

Kirk: "A cube? What is it?"

McCoy: "It's a solid bounded by six equal squares, the angle between any two adjacent faces being a right angle. But that's not important right now."


.

 

[ItsGreen]

Sulu: Sure is quit out there
Kirk: Sure is. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Sulu, what can you make out of this?

SULU: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "We're going to be stuck here for hours."

Sulu: "I told you we should have gotten an EZpass."

 

[Ssosmcin]

Kirk: "Would you kids like some candy and a ride in my spaceship?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: And killer is...James T. Kirk!

KIRK: And I would have gotten away with it, if not for these kids and their dumb angel!

 

[Ssosmcin]

Bones: "What is that smashed smear on the viewscreen?"
Sulu: "Looks like a big squished space bug."
Lt. Brent: "Or a veggie pizza. Did we hit the Starship Papa John?"
Uhura: "Captain, wasn't Mr. Spock outside trying to fix...?"
Kirk: "You know, I'm really glad that's a viewscreen and not an actual wnidow."