TNG Caption This #208: Source Technobabble

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday everyone! It was a good week for me and I am only too happy to begin a new caption contest!

First up, the "Admiral Cain" Award goes to:

PICARD: In the future, please refrain from calling Mister Data "toaster" or "skinjob".

Next, the "Klingon Mating Rituals" Award goes to:

The first part of the Klingon courting ritual is playing footsie.

Next, the "Diplomatic Incident" Award goes to:

Negotiations with the Romulans were going well until Ensign Ro slipped on a banana peel and accidentally knocked the Praetor's brother out the window of a twenty story building.

Next, the "Independence Award" goes to:

Michelle Forbes: Yeh, go on ignore me, I don't need you, I don't need anybody. I got me my True Blood money.

Next, the "Nobody cheats Ro!" Award goes to:

Ro: Look, is this your first time with tea leaves or something?

Guy: No, I uh... uh...

Ro: My palm is about to read your face if you don't give me my ten bucks back.

Our compilation/photoshop Award goes to:

Then we have the....

Ro: PREGNANT? But I - we only....<is lost for words>
Worf, smugly: Klingons are VERY potent. The Great Kahless himself impregnated four women just by staring into their souls.

Congrats to all who participated!

And now....

 

[LeadHead]

Data: For crying out loud Geordi! The light is Red!

Data: Counselor Troi has altered her appearance.

Riker: What do you mean?

Data: She's not wearing a wig.

Crusher: Data....

Data: I am sorry Doctor, but that was a stupid order. I'll wait until Captain Picard or Commander Riker comes back.

Rikers popularity with the crew took a dive when a thorough investigation discovered that he had, in fact, slept with all of the women abaord the Enterprise.

Picard: Hello all! I'm the guy who'll be ordering you all to your deaths tomorrow! Whoops, spoiled the surprise...

 

[Nerys Myk]

[/I]

PICARD: What up, my homies!

CREWMAN: I liked it better when he was cold and aloof.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: Hoo-Wheee! Get ready for the time of your life, Data! Bright lights! Beautiful women! Casinos and nightclubs as far as the eye can see! Who needs Vegas, baby? This is Wrigley's Pleasure Planet!"

 

[Subcommander R.]

Geordi: Data, next time try not to fly through a little girl's bedroom. It scares the kids.

Data: So much pink...

Riker: Damn Data! You learned how to do the intent gaze faster than I thought was possible.

Data: Doctor, whatever you are doing with my on and off switch, don't stop.

Blueshirt: All I did was ask 'Kirk or Picard?'

Picard: Hello. Well, you all know I don't come down here much. I'm slightly neurotic when it comes to my recreation, and most of you don't make me feel welcome here. And by that I mean the 'Jean-Luc is a kook' shirts need to go. Right. So, have a good evening. I'll be sitting in the corner, drinking tea. If anyone wants to join me.

 

[Bob Karo]

Ten Foward: NORM!

Guinan glares at everyone.

Ten Forward: CAPTAIN!

 

[UssGlenn]

Geordi: "That's the Second biggest glowing flamingo I've ever seen"

Data: "Oil can...Oil can..."

Crusher: "I'm not touching you"

Next week on Star Trek: The Next Generation: EXTREME LIMBO!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDIE: Who called the pink alert?

FRAKES: No sign of it Brent. It might have rolled up under the eye.

SPINER: Stupid contacts.

WORF: Doctor, its not ventriloquism if the dummy can actually talk.

BUDDY BIZARRE: What in the hell do you think you're doing here? This is a closed set.

WORF: Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks

STEWART: Thank you, thank you all.

DIRECTOR: Patrick, this is TV. We dont do curtain calls.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "I've been studying your schematics in my medical files, Data. I knew about your 'On/Off' switch, of course, but what about this one marked 'Mixmaster Mode'?"
Data: "Please don't press that!"

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Geordi: You all set Data?

Data: Yes Geordi. I am heading towards the galactic barrier.

Geordi: Hopefully you won't go crazy and get superpowers, like what happened the last time starfleet did this.

Data: Geordi, it is perhaps best that you take off your visor.

Riker: ...and then I went to Risa and I met this beautiful woman. At least they said they were a woman at the time-

Data: Commander, what is that over there??

Riker: What? (Turns head)

(Data runs off.)

Crusher: Data, I recommend that you-

Data: Doctor, please could you refrain from what I believe is known as 'Back seat driving' it will help me considerably whilst I pilot the ship.

Crusher: But wesley is the one who drives the ship...

Data: Shush!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: WE APPEAR TO BE FLYING IN A PINK SHUTTLECRAFT, COMMANDER.
Geordi: No Beatles references, Data, -- please?

Data: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
Riker: That is the CAPTAIN, Data, and you will give him the respect he deserves, including refraining from mocking his shiny - his head.

Crusher, thinking: Does it count as a toy if he's sentient?

 

[Isis]

Viewer: "This is the last time I get taken in by technobabble. Sharp Quattron quad pixel, my a**!"

Riker: "No Data, whoever smelt it dealt it."

Data: "Sir, I do not have a 'passing wind' subroutine."

Riker: "Know-it-all."

Crusher: "OK, I got it out this time, Data. But you've got to stay away from those Jolly Ranchers."

Crewman's thank you message: "Dear Aunt Gladys...Thank you for remembering my birthday with the life-size Captain Picard bobble-head...How thoughtful of you...I know I'll be the envy of all my shipmates."

 

[Holdfast]

First up, the "Admiral Cain" Award goes to:

Spoiler: pic

PICARD: In the future, please refrain from calling Mister Data "toaster" or "skinjob".

Next, the "Klingon Mating Rituals" Award goes to:

Spoiler: pic

The first part of the Klingon courting ritual is playing footsie.

These were my favourites too.

Geordi, singing: "D-I-S-C-O... Disasters... Impossible... Super-Special... Crazy-Crazy... Oh, Oh, Oh...!"

Crusher, thinking: "God, he's sexy when he scans for lifeforms"

Captain Picard: "Hi Everybody!"
Ten Forward Audience, offscreen: "Hi Captain Picard!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

As hard as he tried, Picard simply could not get "the queen wave" down.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CREWMAN: I knew that standee I bought on ebay would come in handy. No ones bothered me for hours.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KID 1 (OS): Dude, placing your Trek action figures in Barbies minivan is lame.

KID 2 (OS): My mom wouldn't buy me the shuttlecraft.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "How!"

Chakotay os: "That's it! I'm quitting Starfleet and joining the Maquis. Racist!"

 

[Isis]

Picard: "I come in peace."

Crewman: "Sir, I think you've practiced enough for tomorrow's away mission. You don't want to come off as over-rehearsed."

 

[Isis]

Aerobics instructor: "You're the worst class I've taught...EVER."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "Looks like someone forgot his Right Guard this morning."