Klingon movie

[JarodRussell]

Watched Apocalypto, Passion of the Christ and 300 and wondered... how about a Klingon movie made in that style (the life, battles and reign of Kahless)? All bloody and violent, with epic, iconic images, and only Klingon language with subtitles. How he fashioned his sword with his own hands, by dropping a lock of his hair into a volcano and twisting it into a blade. How he fought his brother for twelve days and nights. How he fought an army of 500 only with his lady at his side, until the Great Hall was ankle deep in blood.

Apocalypto, Conan, 300, Star Trek, those movies were pretty successful. Thor is probably going to be successful, too. A mix of them all, how cool would that be?

 

[BillJ]

I'm really burnt out on the Klingons.

 

[Dukhat]

Yeah, I'm pretty sick of Klingons myself. And I'm certainly not interested in their history.

 

[JarodRussell]

If it weren't Klingons, but some other fantasy people, you'd watch it regardless.

 

[C_Miller]

I can't picture a world where that would be successful. I can't imagine people would be lining up to read subtitles so the movie can use a fictional language all the way through. I don't know... I still stand that if Star Trek is to continue to be successful, it can't fall into "niche" stuff.

 

[JarodRussell]

I can't picture a world where that would be successful. I can't imagine people would be lining up to read subtitles so the movie can use a fictional language all the way through. I don't know... I still stand that if Star Trek is to continue to be successful, it can't fall into "niche" stuff.

Who actually made the rule that you can do only one thing at a time? A Klingon 300-style comic book action movie could be made totally independently from another movie or TV show.

I tend to agree with the language argument, but then I also don't. People went in to see films in Latin and Maya. Granted, those are not fictional, but they are pretty much dead languages. I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds although I don't speak German. And people get a kick out of it when they speak all those fictional languages in Lord of the Rings, for example.

A Klingon/Kahless movie would be pretty much a pure fantasy movie, not science fiction. Like Conan, 300, Clash of the Titans, Hercules, Beowulf. It would be very different from the Star Trek anyone knows.

 

[BillJ]

I can't picture a world where that would be successful. I can't imagine people would be lining up to read subtitles so the movie can use a fictional language all the way through. I don't know... I still stand that if Star Trek is to continue to be successful, it can't fall into "niche" stuff.

Who actually made the rule that you can do only one thing at a time? A Klingon 300-style comic book action movie could be made totally independently from another movie or TV show.

I tend to agree with the language argument, but then I also don't. People went in to see films in Latin and Maya. Granted, those are not fictional, but they are pretty much dead languages. I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds although I don't speak German. And people get a kick out of it when they speak all those fictional languages in Lord of the Rings, for example.

A Klingon/Kahless movie would be pretty much a pure fantasy movie, not science fiction. Like Conan, 300, Clash of the Titans, Hercules, Beowulf. It would be very different from the Star Trek anyone knows.

But why attach the Star Trek stigma? You can just make a total fantasy movie without the baggage.

 

[antiquityscion]

A Klingon movie might work as an internet fan project, but a mainstream movie? I don't think it would work.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Just yesterday I was wondering what happened to the Klingons. About 1992-1997 they were everywhere - any convention you went to, there were gangs of them roaming the halls; they all belonged to one "house" or another. There was a group that actually put out a rather odd full-color calendar (on which they didn't identify themselves as "Klingon" or use any trademarks) featuring their members in full Klingon drag posing with various female models who looked like strippers. And there was the annual "Dover Peace Conference."

Where did they all go?

 

[Pingfah]

I can't picture a world where that would be successful. I can't imagine people would be lining up to read subtitles so the movie can use a fictional language all the way through. I don't know... I still stand that if Star Trek is to continue to be successful, it can't fall into "niche" stuff.

Who actually made the rule that you can do only one thing at a time? A Klingon 300-style comic book action movie could be made totally independently from another movie or TV show.

I tend to agree with the language argument, but then I also don't. People went in to see films in Latin and Maya. Granted, those are not fictional, but they are pretty much dead languages. I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds although I don't speak German. And people get a kick out of it when they speak all those fictional languages in Lord of the Rings, for example.

A Klingon/Kahless movie would be pretty much a pure fantasy movie, not science fiction. Like Conan, 300, Clash of the Titans, Hercules, Beowulf. It would be very different from the Star Trek anyone knows.

But why attach the Star Trek stigma? You can just make a total fantasy movie without the baggage.

I think it is a great idea artistically, Star Trek comes with a ready built mythology, and those that had some understanding of it in general could find this film very entertaining if it were done right. All those films he mentioned were successful in part because they also came with ready built mythologies too. A standard fantasy wouldn't hit the same spot.

Although barring some sort of miracle/fluke, it's unlikely to be commercially viable.

 

[Dukhat]

If it weren't Klingons, but some other fantasy people, you'd watch it regardless.

Are you speaking to me? How do you know what I would watch? There were all kinds of fantasy people in the LOTR trilogy, and I didn't watch that.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Avatar is one of the few examples of a movie, that I can think of right now, that has successfully gotten around the problem of getting people to identify with aliens that do not look like people. Even Spock has only a few minor physical alterations from a human: the ears mostly, and the eyebrows, maybe skin color; all minor compared to Klingon foreheads.

Somehow, getting people to identify with more alien aliens is a tough nut to crack, for a mainstream movie. Recall, Chewie was a sidekick, not a hero. And Jar Jar ***incoherent commotion***.

The Dark Crystal might be another example that worked. Maybe using puppets, going for something cartoony actually helps people identify better? Maybe the problem is people in make-up taking themselves too seriously, for most people to swallow?

 

[Tarek71]

Watched Apocalypto, Passion of the Christ and 300 and wondered... how about a Klingon movie made in that style (the life, battles and reign of Kahless)? All bloody and violent, with epic, iconic images, and only Klingon language with subtitles. How he fashioned his sword with his own hands, by dropping a lock of his hair into a volcano and twisting it into a blade. How he fought his brother for twelve days and nights. How he fought an army of 500 only with his lady at his side, until the Great Hall was ankle deep in blood.

Apocalypto, Conan, 300, Star Trek, those movies were pretty successful. Thor is probably going to be successful, too. A mix of them all, how cool would that be?

Not the first time this has been thought of. A friend and I worked on something called "The Song of Kahless". It was actually to have been Volume 1 of a kind of Klingon Chronicles. The next installment would have been about the coming of the Hurq.

In any case this would have followed ol Kahless from his youth, being raised by the blacksmith friend of his deceased father. The latter was killed, like a good many others, under the merciless rule of the Tigagh (Tee'gah) Klingons. This was before Enterprise and the explanation for the two different kinds of Klingons. In this version, the Tigagh are the human looking Klingons. The ones with the speed bump heads, like Kahless, are at that time living under the Tigagh Empire.

Well, long story short, he learns the bat'leth from the blacksmith who forged the sword of Kahless at the behest of Kahless' father, who intended to give it to him when he ascended. Well, the Blacksmith decides that young boy Kahless needs the sword and begins the long years of training him on it. (bat'leths are forbidden by the Tigagh. Its death to be caught in possession of one.)

Its like the Earth of Europe in late antiquity or the early Middle Ages. Eventually, after many adventures and famous deeds, he unites the dispirited and beaten houses of the Speed bump heads (I forget the name we had for them.) and leads them to a stunning victory over the well armed and armored "knights" of the TIgagh, climaxing with a wild sword fight between Kahless and the Tigagh emperor, after successfully storming the imperial palace with his ablest warriors and boon companions. Kahless founds a new Empire and dynasty. (One that will later be shattered by the Hurq, which gives an opening to the Tigagh to regain the dominant position.)

It was all very good and interesting, but we ended up ditching it because we thought there is no way on the green earth of god that this thing will ever be made. Especially since we wante the whole thing to be in Klingon with subtitles.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Avatar is one of the few examples of a movie, that I can think of right now, that has successfully gotten around the problem of getting people to identify with aliens that do not look like people.

Yes, and it manages that only by focusing on a human being who enters into their world; Jake Sully is the audience viewpoint character and the protagonist.

Some people criticized the movie for taking this approach - essentially treating the indigenous people as supporting characters in their own history, which Hollywood does far too often - but it's the only approach that has a reasonable chance to draw in an audience big enough to sustain an expensive movie or tv series.

At first blush, The Lord Of The Rings would seem to be the exception to this rule - after all, the viewpoint characters are hobbits, a variety of "fairy folk," rather than human beings - but in this case IMAO they work because they're portrayed as much closer in temperment and attitudes to (Tolkein's vision of) modern, middle class English folk than are any of the other more archaic and "historical" characters in the saga. In that sense they are more "us" than are the pre-modern human cultures or the legendary folk like elves and dwarves.

 

[Gepard]

Yeah, I'm pretty sick of Klingons myself. And I'm certainly not interested in their history.

This. I couldn't imagine anything more tedious.

[
At first blush, The Lord Of The Rings would seem to be the exception to this rule - after all, the viewpoint characters are hobbits, a variety of "fairy folk," rather than human beings - but in this case IMAO they work because they're portrayed as much closer in temperment and attitudes to (Tolkein's vision of) modern, middle class English folk than are any of the other more archaic and "historical" characters in the saga. In that sense they are more "us" than are the pre-modern human cultures or the legendary folk like elves and dwarves.

Also because Hobbits look pretty much like us. Temperament aside, I can't imagine LOTR being as successful if Frodo et al were blue or had latex forehead ridges.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Well, long story short, he learns the bat'leth from the blacksmith who forged the sword of Kahless at the behest of Kahless' father, who intended to give it to him when he ascended. Well, the Blacksmith decides that young boy Kahless needs the sword and begins the long years of training him on it. (bat'leths are forbidden by the Tigagh. Its death to be caught in possession of one.)

Blacksmith? Laaaaame.

That's like a sidequest in a Zelda game.

Now the original story - Kahless making the first Bat'leth out of one of his hairs in a friggin' volcano - badass.

 

[Broccoli]

Just yesterday I was wondering what happened to the Klingons. About 1992-1997 they were everywhere - any convention you went to, there were gangs of them roaming the halls; they all belonged to one "house" or another. There was a group that actually put out a rather odd full-color calendar (on which they didn't identify themselves as "Klingon" or use any trademarks) featuring their members in full Klingon drag posing with various female models who looked like strippers. And there was the annual "Dover Peace Conference."

Where did they all go?

They got a life.

 

[Tarek71]

Well, long story short, he learns the bat'leth from the blacksmith who forged the sword of Kahless at the behest of Kahless' father, who intended to give it to him when he ascended. Well, the Blacksmith decides that young boy Kahless needs the sword and begins the long years of training him on it. (bat'leths are forbidden by the Tigagh. Its death to be caught in possession of one.)

Blacksmith? Laaaaame.

That's like a sidequest in a Zelda game.

Now the original story - Kahless making the first Bat'leth out of one of his hairs in a friggin' volcano - badass.

Indeed! But also impossible. So we decided that a good many of such stories about him were Tall Tales. Sort of like how there probably wasnt a global flood or Jonah wasnt really in the belly of a whale for three days or Goliath wasnt really over 9 feet tall (maybe 6'6" or something), etc.

Im sure Kahless Literalist Klingons would reject that though.

 

[Captaindemotion]

Watched Apocalypto, Passion of the Christ and 300 and wondered... how about a Klingon movie made in that style (the life, battles and reign of Kahless)? All bloody and violent, with epic, iconic images, and only Klingon language with subtitles. How he fashioned his sword with his own hands, by dropping a lock of his hair into a volcano and twisting it into a blade. How he fought his brother for twelve days and nights. How he fought an army of 500 only with his lady at his side, until the Great Hall was ankle deep in blood.

Apocalypto, Conan, 300, Star Trek, those movies were pretty successful. Thor is probably going to be successful, too. A mix of them all, how cool would that be?

I'd be there in a flash but I just don't see it having widespread appeal.

 

[JarodRussell]

Well, long story short, he learns the bat'leth from the blacksmith who forged the sword of Kahless at the behest of Kahless' father, who intended to give it to him when he ascended. Well, the Blacksmith decides that young boy Kahless needs the sword and begins the long years of training him on it. (bat'leths are forbidden by the Tigagh. Its death to be caught in possession of one.)

Blacksmith? Laaaaame.

That's like a sidequest in a Zelda game.

Now the original story - Kahless making the first Bat'leth out of one of his hairs in a friggin' volcano - badass.

Indeed! But also impossible. So we decided that a good many of such stories about him were Tall Tales. Sort of like how there probably wasnt a global flood or Jonah wasnt really in the belly of a whale for three days or Goliath wasnt really over 9 feet tall (maybe 6'6" or something), etc.

Im sure Kahless Literalist Klingons would reject that though.

Impossible? Who cares? That's why I'd do it as a stylized fantasy movie.