He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to him.

[ed629]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

Why don't you try fucking apologising to the guy for ignoring him?

If you explain that you were uncomfortable and didn't know what to say he might respect you and understand you enough to stop being annoyed at you. You seem fixated on the fact it must be because you didn't want to help, but i'll bet it's actually about you being incredibly rude about it.

Apologise to the guy, you should have done it already.

That is not going to happen, he originally put me in a spot I was very appalled and uncomfortable in, and would of answered no to anyway. He is the one that is now acting like and ass.

Yeah, and shouting abuse at him is completely rational and constructive.

You had the chance to act like an adult here and just speak to the guy and resolve whatever problem he had with you, and instead you took the most childish route possible.

Now you are making the whole thing about him causing you some horrible offence to avoid facing the fact that you are afraid to talk to him for some reason. A fact that you have now demonstrated twice.

I didn't shout at him, I spoke loudly, enough for him to hear me where we were, not even close to shouting. And that he has been doing this for weeks now is acceptable and rational on his part? I've tried to ignore him, thinking he'd get the message. I'll admit that my initial reaction was not the best, but now he has continued to do this for weeks and if he wasn't in a wheelchair would his behavior be acceptable, or should I still be the one to apologize?

 

[Pingfah]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

It's not OK to stare you out whether he is in a wheelchair or not, but instead of addressing the situation in an adult way, you're just making it worse by annoying him more. This isn't rocket science.

Just speaking to him about it would be a start.

 

[Kestra]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

It's not OK to stare you out whether he is in a wheelchair or not, but instead of addressing the situation in an adult way, you're just making it worse by annoying him more. This isn't rocket science.

Just speaking to him about it would be a start.

I don't expect this to mean much, but Pingfah's been spot on in this thread, and you'd do well to listen to him.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

I think he tried to go to the bathroom by himself after you wouldn't help him, and he slipped and fell and was killed. Now his ghost is haunting you.

 

[Amaris]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

It's not OK to stare you out whether he is in a wheelchair or not, but instead of addressing the situation in an adult way, you're just making it worse by annoying him more. This isn't rocket science.

Just speaking to him about it would be a start.

I don't expect this to mean much, but Pingfah's been spot on in this thread, and you'd do well to listen to him.

I think he tried to go to the bathroom by himself after you wouldn't help him, and he slipped and fell and was killed. Now his ghost is haunting you.

I think you're both right. Also, Pingfah.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

This is easy OP. You could have said, "sorry, no, I'm not comfortable with that" in your first situation. You were on the spot though and didn't think to do this, you just reacted. That's understandable to some extent (though one can ALWAYS backtrack by seeking a person out and explaining).

However this time you were not on the spot and surprised. You have had some time now to think of an adult response to being stared at. Instead you once again reacted.
Reacting is going to screw you over in life and people will not respect you for it.

An adult response to being stared at repeatedly would have been to go up to him and ask, "hey, why do you keep staring at me all the time? It is kind of bothering me."

I'm wondering if maybe you are nervous about talking to him because he's in a wheel chair, so it's easy to react and abuse him? You know it is not too late to backtrack. You could go up to the guy and say, "Hey I lost my temper at you the other day because I didn't understand why you keep staring at me. Sorry about swearing at you. Is there a problem between us, a reason you keep staring at me? "

 

[Amaris]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

^ Agreed. There's still time to apologize and repair this issue. Start by treating this person as a human being and not an inconvenience to be avoided.

 

[Captain_Nick]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

Most people are inconveniences to be avoided.

ed you will never get the approval you need from the people on this board.

Ok, your initial reaction to the toilet request might be seen as strange, but that's ok, you were in a fight or flight situation. Nobody can be expected to act rationally in such circumstances. We've all been there, even if the heroes on this forum are too scared to admit it.

Now the wheelchair dude has taken personal offense because he has a massive chip on his shoulder. Rather than confront you he has taken the passive agressive road. He is a douche and probably has a victim 'my problems are everyone elses fault' mentality going on.

Why would you talk to him? Is that the sort of person you would want to be friends with? Of course not.

Next time he bothers you, assert your dominance by grabbing his wheelchair and flinging him out of the classroom.

 

[Guitarded]

Re: He would not stop staring/glaring at me, so I said something to hi

If you felt a confrontation was truly necessary, I see no reason not to begin with a peaceful approach. I probably would have said something along the lines of "Is there a problem? I've noticed that you keep staring at me."