TOS Caption Contest #214: Well, Duh!
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
MUDD: Yes, Mr. Scott, those be boobies.
SPOCK: Boobies are not logical.
Thanks for the win.
KIRK: Okay, how about this... We stick you two in the transporter and Scotty makes with the technology so one of you is black and the other is white. That way we just get rid of any illusions we aren't talking about racism amongst humans.
BELE: You propose to corrupt us both!?!
KIRK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hate his skin color. We get it.
KIRK: Okay, how about this... We stick you two in the transporter and Scotty makes with the technology so one of you is black and the other is white. That way we just get rid of any illusions we aren't talking about racism amongst humans.
BELE: You propose to corrupt us both!?!
KIRK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hate his skin color. We get it.
Redshirt: Oh, I feel faint! I...can't...go on.
McCoy: He's not dead, Jim. It's a farce.
Kirk: Have you no shame, man? What will you think of yourself tomorrow?
Redshirt, thinking: Better thrown out of the service for cowardice than killed to prove the situation is serious...
Shatner: Is this what it's come to, Frank? Grey pajamas and face paint?
Gorshin, with a shrug: At least no one here says "Biff!" and "Pow!" when they throw punches.
Kirk: You know what looking at you two makes me want?
Bele: To purge the impurity of his kind.
Lokai: Social justice.
Kirk. Neither. It makes me want a 50-50 Bar.
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Spock: Be on guard, Gentlemen. It is illogical that a man in that hat and shirt and those ear-rings would know the first thing about attractive females. I suspect subterfuge.
McCoy:Warns the Vulcan, HAH!
Jim, how many have to die before you get over the beatdown you got Freshman year? It's not funny anymore. I'm the one who has to clean up.
Nope! I'm calling "Prime Directive", and dumping both your ass' on a moon somewhere.
Redshirt: Message for you, sir!
Kirk: "Gentlemen, we've considered your problem and we just don't want to get involved with the whole cultural and ethical argument thingy-so we've decided to paint you both green instead."
KIRK (offscreen): Spock! You're mine you hear me! Mine!
MUDD: My trick to get Spock back to the straight side appears to be working.
MCCOY: I wouldn't bet on it.
SCOTTY *thinking* I probably won't get pussy in this ep either.
REDSHIRT (offscreen): Haha bitches! I made it!
REDSHIRT(onscreen) STFU!
KIRK: Don't worry we'll take care of you in the next ep.
MCCOY *thinking* How can I do the He's dead Jim thing differently next week!
BELE: We should be friends Loki.
LOKI: Why is that?
BELE: Being black on one side and white on the other is more attractive than being one color. If we're the only ones left...
KIRK: You just ruined the ep you dumb asses. And you got more lines than me. Spock give me a witty retort!
SPOCK (offscreen): Jim, kiss my ass!
KIRK:
Bele: "I am Commissioner Bele of Cheron, my prisoner is Loki."
Kirk: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll call you Othello and Reversi, Ok."