Not my fault you're 3 weeks behind now.

[ed629]

So.... me and GF both have the same math class, I've been helping her with her homework because she has a hard time with it. Right now she is about 3 weeks behind on it, I'm one day behind. The last few times we'll start and she'll get a phone call, or start texting or fuck around on FaceBook. We have some work that is due as part of a test grade, got mine done. Most of hers done too, but the she takes a phone call... for around an hour. She finally gets off while I was waiting the whole time damn, she's ready to finish it. Told her I'm done for the night, you fucked around again so you can finish on your own. Now she's pissed because I don't want to help her finish it and she's going to lose the points on the test. I already told her before, next time she fucks around when I'm helping her on her school work she's on her own for it. And now it's my fault she's going to get a crappy grade... and I don't care anymore.

 

[Aldo]

Well it sounds like you've done all you could.

 

[PKTrekGirl]

I am just appalled at the manners of people these days.

First of all, it is incredibly rude to take an extended phone call from one person while you are hanging out with another. It doesn't matter the reason (unless it's a life & death emergency) - it's just rude to make someone you are with sit there and wait for you to get off the phone, like they don't have another fucking thing to do in life besides sit around waiting for YOU.

If you have plans with somebody, you have plans with somebody. And that means not just that your body shows up....but that your mind is in the room also - not off somewhere else with whoever is on the phone.

The fact that these plans were made so that you could help HER with her homework makes it doubly rude. You do not waste the time of someone who is trying to HELP you.

Jesus, your girlfriend's mom needs to sit down with her daughter and teach her some fucking manners in the worst possible way.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I assume there are really good benefits to this relationship to compensate for the appalling treatment you endure.

 

[AriesIV]

I have gotten up and walked out several times on girls/women who have done the phone call routine.

One time I stuck the woman in question with the bill.



Where I work we've had to go so far as to collect cellphones at the door because we'll have people stop work to txt or take calls.

Back in the day I could go for 8 to 12 hours without checking my answering machine. Same with my emails. You DO NOT need to instant response EVERY FUCKING CALL AND MESSAGE.

It's really gotten out of hand. They need to legalize local-area jamming equipment for business. When I think of the lost productivity where I work and multiply it across the nation... the results are STAGGERING to say the least.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

If you have plans with somebody, you have plans with somebody. And that means not just that your body shows up....but that your mind is in the room also - not off somewhere else with whoever is on the phone.

I totally agree. Plus, your rocking avatar made me read that in Avery Brooks' voice, so like... even if I didn't agree, I'd be made to.

 

[auntiehill]

I think taking calls, particularly social calls, when there's an actual, living human being across from you, has got to be the rudest thing around. It says, "Oh, someone more interesting is calling. I'm going to choose them over you."

I can't tell you how often I have taken the phone out of my nephew's hand. Ive put my hand over the screen of a friend's daughter's phone and reminded her that she was invite over because we wanted her company, and she could at least pretend to care. Otherwise, she could stay home. Her father was all for it; he even gave me permission to take it from her if she did it again.

Of course, part of the problem is that the parents keep buying crap for the kids, in part to keep them quiet. My 12 year old nephew has an I-Phone, an I-Touch, an Android phone, a lap top, a PSP and a desktop. He's freaking 12! My sister gives him this stuff to keep him occupied and out of her way. He's incredibly smart--but under the delusion that he needs to be entertained 24 hours a day.

 

[PKTrekGirl]

I totally agree. Plus, your rocking avatar made me read that in Avery Brooks' voice, so like... even if I didn't agree, I'd be made to.

Yeah...don't mess with The Sisko.

I think taking calls, particularly social calls, when there's an actual, living human being across from you, has got to be the rudest thing around. It says, "Oh, someone more interesting is calling. I'm going to choose them over you."

Yes. That is exactly what it says. *nods*

I actually like AriesIV's solution - just get up and walk out. Hopefully leaving the girl (or guy) with the bill. I mean, two can play the rude game, and maybe it will teach them something about how to treat people. It will in any case leave an impression.

 

[Kestra]

Some of the reactions seem a bit harsh. Not that what she's doing isn't rude, but having such a strong reaction doesn't really seem to help. Does the other person realize that they're being rude and do they really just not care about your feelings or time? In the case of a kid, maybe, but chances are they also don't really know how offensive they are being. Same thing could go for adults.

If you're with someone who does this sort of thing, I'd suggest telling them honestly how it makes you feel and making it clear that that sort of behavior is unacceptable in your company (or anyone else's, frankly). If they keep doing it then you know that they really don't care.

I'm just not a fan of rudeness being met with more rudeness. If I had a friend who had such little respect for me, I would probably stop spending time with that person.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Some of the reactions seem a bit harsh. Not that what she's doing isn't rude, but having such a strong reaction doesn't really seem to help. Does the other person realize that they're being rude and do they really just not care about your feelings or time? In the case of a kid, maybe, but chances are they also don't really know how offensive they are being. Same thing could go for adults.

If you're with someone who does this sort of thing, I'd suggest telling them honestly how it makes you feel and making it clear that that sort of behavior is unacceptable in your company (or anyone else's, frankly). If they keep doing it then you know that they really don't care.

I'm just not a fan of rudeness being met with more rudeness. If I had a friend who had such little respect for me, I would probably stop spending time with that person.

I think that, like myself, the others may have had this happen to them, so it's likely to bring up some of the bile we've seen here.

 

[EnsignAmy]

Women (and I speak as one) do this sort of social multitasking with each other constantly. Some are worse than others, but I think we're sorta hardwired to do it as a gender, and technology only makes it easier. So while I agree with you that she was being totally rude, keep in mind that she may not have intended it that way and might be really surprised by your reaction.

 

[auntiehill]

I'm a woman, too, and I have NEVER done that. I think it's just plain rude, and very immature. If I ask someone to help me with something, I would never proceed to spend the whole time goofing off by texting and talking on the phone with someone else. It's childish and simply insulting to the other person. He's wasting his time to try to help her, and now she's mad at him because she squandered all of that time.

I have lots of female friends who have high pressure jobs---in that THEY are the only people who can solve the problem. One works for a cancer hospital, for instance and another is a social worker. Their jobs call them all the time. But, if in a social situation, they will just look at the phone, make sure it's not an emergency and then call the person back later. The behavior may, however, be a generational thing. All my of friend's kids feel they have to answer every bloody text and call they get. One can only hope they'll grow out of it.

 

[An Officer]

I don't know what type of phone call needs to take an hour! You could plan the freaking Olympics in that time. I really despise long telephone conversations unless strictly necessary, I prefer face to face. I do have a couple of old friends who do call and like to keep me a couple of hours or so. If I didn't love them dearly, I would cut it way shorter than that. Telephones and women, it's just one of those things...

However, if you had a deadline, she was probably procrastinating deliberately, rather than being particularly rude towards you personally... when I was studying and had a deadline, I used to find anything, including cleaning the toilet repeatedly, more interesting than hitting the books. She obviously doesn't have a natural aptitude like you do. Some of us are not as blessed.

 

[Nowhere Man]

So.... me and GF both have the same math class, I've been helping her with her homework because she has a hard time with it. Right now she is about 3 weeks behind on it, I'm one day behind. The last few times we'll start and she'll get a phone call, or start texting or fuck around on FaceBook. We have some work that is due as part of a test grade, got mine done. Most of hers done too, but the she takes a phone call... for around an hour. She finally gets off while I was waiting the whole time damn, she's ready to finish it. Told her I'm done for the night, you fucked around again so you can finish on your own. Now she's pissed because I don't want to help her finish it and she's going to lose the points on the test. I already told her before, next time she fucks around when I'm helping her on her school work she's on her own for it. And now it's my fault she's going to get a crappy grade... and I don't care anymore.

Women are crazy man, just do what she says, you'll be better off in the long run. I know it sucks, but it's like choosing the lesser of the two evils.

 

[Amaris]

I tape cell phones to my ears so I can take two incoming calls at the same time, and I have duct taped a cell phone to my arm so I can text anytime I need to. If you have a problem with that, well... oh, hold on, I have to take these calls.

 

[An Officer]

^ That's great, had me wondering whether you'd followed the advice of your own avatar...

 

[Mary Ann]

Your girlfriend's behaviour is inexcusable. Multitasking or no, it simply good manners to give the person you're with 100% of your attention if they're helping you with something.

The Dutch have the term plebs-bestek (pleb/commoner cutlery) to describe a mobile phone left on a table during a meal, especially in a restaurant. I agree wholeheartedly with this sentiment. I've come close to walking out on friends who have long, pointless conversations on their mobiles while I'm having a meal with them. It's one of my top pet peeves.

 

[PKTrekGirl]

Women (and I speak as one) do this sort of social multitasking with each other constantly. Some are worse than others, but I think we're sorta hardwired to do it as a gender, and technology only makes it easier. So while I agree with you that she was being totally rude, keep in mind that she may not have intended it that way and might be really surprised by your reaction.

Sorry, but I disagree.

I don't think rudeness is genetically 'hard-wired' into females. It's learned behavior - and the chief place one learns manners is from one's parents. I am a female, for example, and I would never dream of taking an extended social phone call when someone who has, on appointment, agreed to help me with something very important is right there in the room, trying to help me. If I had done that sort of thing in my mother's presence while growing up, I'd have received a response similar to the one auntiehill described - my mother would have walked over, taken the phone out of my hand mid-sentence, informed my 'phone friend' that we could talk later, and hung up. And her message to me would have been heard, loud and clear: have consideration for other people's time and generosity.

And if I were a parent, I'd do exactly what my mother would have. And if my child persisted in this behavior, I'd take their cell phone away until such time as they saw fit to act like civilized human beings and display some sort of base level of consideration for others.

Which is exactly why I said in my post that this girl's mother needs to have a nice long chat with her about this sort of thing.

Inconsiderate and rude behavior is not a 'girl thing'. It's an 'inconsiderate and rude' thing. And excusing it because we are 'just being girls' is, IMO, not cool and only enables people to continue with this sort of behavior.

But that's just me.

 

[Amaris]

^ That's great, had me wondering whether you'd followed the advice of your own avatar...

Once I discovered Dr. Spaceman via 30Rock, I found my new hero.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Women (and I speak as one) do this sort of social multitasking with each other constantly. Some are worse than others, but I think we're sorta hardwired to do it as a gender, and technology only makes it easier.

Not this woman, and not most of my friends. The one who did it a lot, well, that's on the list of reasons she's no longer my friend; admittedly very low on the list, but still on it.