TNG Caption This #194: Bad Hangovers

[LeadHead]

Happy New Year everyone!

It's time to salute our first winners of 2011, so lets get to em.

First, the "Obedience Training" Award goes to:

DATA: It's the only way to keep him off the furniture.

Next, the "Riker isn't good at everything" Award, goes to:

Crusher: "I'm sorry Will, but that is simply the lamest attempt at a Vulcan nerve pinch, ever."

Next, the "Waynes World Commercial" Award goes to:

Data: "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

Crusher (to self): "Oh, no, Wesley's been playing with his memory banks again."

Next, the "Number Two" Award goes to:

Riker: Look. All I'm saying, sir, is that I'd rather not be addressed like I'm a lavatory function.

Next, the "Maybe the Enterprise isn't so safe after all" Award goes to:

Female Redshirt (thinking): "'It's perfectly safe! Why, they even allow families and children on board!' Goddamned lying recruiter!"

And finally the Photoshop award:

Data:"If you are ready to place your order, just tell the HAL9000 Menu what you want."

Beverly: "Menu, we'd like a couple Romulan ales while we order."

HAL9000 Menu: "I'm sorry, Beverly, I can't do that."

Congrats to our winners!

And now, lets say hello to our new pictures

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Captain, maybe headbutting Data wasn't such a good idea.

Geordi: Data, I think you misunderstood when I told you I wanted to get high.

Crusher: Good, now you don't remember me teaching you t dance. Who wants to delete the next memory?

Gates: Really?! That's what I have to do in this script?!

Crusher: For crying out loud Will, the Hair Club for men is much safer than these drugs.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

Geordi: "Oh, man! I never cared much for synthahol, but this new synth-peyote is da bomb!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

BEVERLY: He's drunk...again!

BEVERLY: He's drunk...again!

BEVERLY: He's drunk...again!

BEVERLY: He's drunk...again!

BEVERLY: He's drunk...again!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "Okay, that does it. The obscene tattoo is erased."
Troi: "And I assume Data's bio-systems can grow hair to cover the bald patch."
Riker: "And no more unescorted visits to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet for him!"

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"For the last time, dammit, I tell you this jacket IS regulation!"

"Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there!

I'm going to regret this."


.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Data: One more spin cycle oughta teach him what happens when he refuses to help me design the software for my penis extension!

Beverly: I told you I wanted you to rig the caption contest in my favor for Christmas!!!

Shinzon was much better at telerapenesis back then.

Beverly (thinking): I wonder if Troi will be mad at me for chemically removing Riker's sex drive... eh, she can't miss what she never knew existed. Wes needs it more anyway.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Remember, the boss said ta make it look like an accident.

 

[Isis]

Geordi: "Next time I take Royal Caribbean, I'll stick with the rock-climbing wall."

Riker (to self): "When Crusher said she had to screw Data, this isn't what I'd pictured."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "This should help clear your head and relieve some of the disorientation. But no more Orion porn!"

 

[bullethead]

Crusher: Don't worry Commander, Nurse Ogawa will apply the kick this time instead of Wesley.

Riker: Captain, my name is Mr. Charles...

Geordi: I'm gonna kill Wesley for messing with the gravity while we're doing Inception.

Crusher: As you can see, Spot managed to cut up Data's circuits... again.
Riker: He really needs to stop letting Spot sit on his head.

Crusher: My God, I'm in trashy paperback romance novel!

 

[alte]

Riker: "Four double A's...not that bad"

Crusher: "Wait...he takes four more back here..."

Troi: "Damn it...Starfleet must think we're made of money...!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Geordi: NO FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS IN ENGINEERING, PEOPLE! Mr. Wonka is going to be SO angry.

Picard: Dieu merci. It was only a dream. I...was stuck on a ship with a randy first officer and a doctor with a bratty child, constantly followed by a sulking...Klingon.
..merde.

Crusher: Commander, you wouldn't NEED to come down here if you didn't insist on taking two doses of Viagra every time you went into Ten-Forward on an off-night
Riker, weakly: ..four hours or more...

 

[alte]

(Geordi moans...then farts)

 

[Finn]

Beverly: Now, he will never say that firm boobs comment ever again.

Riker: Yeah. It really hurt when Deanna laughed as if she agreed after Data told me about mine.

Beverly: Oh my god... There was a balding man night that stormy night nine months before....

Beverly: .... All right, Will. Where did I put that straw?

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "He's done it again."
Beverly: "Jean Luc?"
Picard: "*Sigh*... yeah. I crapped my pants."

Picard (OS): "Geordi? Where are you? Mr. Laforge, please respond."
Laforge: "I'll be right there, Captain!"
Picard (OS): (to Riker) "Geordi sounded a bit odd, number one. Almost as if he were rolling around on the floor."
Riker (OS): "It's that new centrifuge ride program on the holodeck. Geordi practically lives in it now."

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "Whaaa? Oh man... I feel so... sedated. What... did... you... give........ me?"
Beverly: "It's OK, Will. Everyone hates that ridiculous looking beard you've been wearing. So, it's time for an intervention." *click* BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! "Time for a little shave."
Riker: "Noooooooooooooooo!"

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Doctor, has anyone ever told you that you're a pain in the neck?"
"You're the 4679th patient to tell me that 'original' joke."
"oh."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi and Crusher: "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!"
Riker: "Egregious as his actions were, I still say it's probably just a programming glitch."

 

[Skywalker]

Patrick Stewart: "No! I won't do another X-Men movie! You can't make me!"
Gates McFadden: "I'm sorry, Patrick, but I'm afraid you signed a contract."

Geordi: "I can't believe I let Commander Riker talk me into playing one of his NX-01 holoprograms. This spot isn't sweet at all!"

Crusher: "There. That's the last of it. Now nobody will remember Nemesis."
Troi: "What about the viewers?"
*Crusher, Troi, and Riker all slowly turn to face the camera*