Movie Caption Contest #171: Not So New And Improved

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Well Sulu, what do you think? She's all yours if you want her."

Sulu: "I'll let you know after I run a ShipFax report on it."

Kirk: "Picky, picky."

Esteban: "Saavik, why have you switched back to the Commodore 64?"

Saavik: "Vista keeps locking up."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk: Helm, flash our lights again. Let them know we're letting them out.
Sulu: Sir, that Miranda class vessel is coming around again.
Kirk: Hold our position mister, we're having that parking space!

 

[SeerSGB]

Sulu: There she is, my new command. 20 years of working my way up the ranks, busting my ass, paying my dues, and finally I have my own ship

Kirk: So you want to go on a mission that totally screw your chances of commanding anything bigger than a whisk broom from the next 10 years and probably end up with us all dead or in prison?

Sulu: Sure.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Spacedock, you have control. Spacedock?

Sulu: Sir, we're on a collision course!

Kirk: Spacedock?! SPACEDOCK COME IN!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ESTABAN: What is it?

DAVID: Maybe a TARDIS?

SAAVIK: Please, even Doctor Who SFX are better than that!

 

[LeadHead]

David: I don't believe it.

Esteban: What is it?

Saavik: The sensors broke down again, it's just showing this old 8-bit screensaver over and over again.

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "My friends...the great experiment. Excelsior. Spock, run a fun sensor sweep. Let's see what she's made of."

*Awkward silence, cricket sounds*

Kirk: "Er, sorry 'bout that. Old habits."

 

[Alrik]

Scotty (os): Aye, and if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon."

Uhura (os, whisper): "More like if she had a stick up her ass, she'd be a vanilla fudgesicle. Woman's been dead and in an obital tomb for over 50 years."

Chekov (os): *spit take*

 

[Rat Boy]

Esteban: "Is this a stand-up fight or a bug-hunt?"

David: "I thought this was a science vessel."

Saavik: "He doesn't think that."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "My friends, the great experiment: the Phallic Compensater."

Scotty: "Aye, and if Stiles's dick had wheels, it'd be a Reliant Robin."

Esteban: "How are things coming along? Close to done yet?"

David: "What? We've barely started pre-production!"

Esteban: "Good. Activision wants this game ready to publish in one hour."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You mean I have to pay to fly it? Damn you, Cryptic!"

Esteban: "Metallic mass?"

David: "Judas Priest concert."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Takei: That ship would be mine if it hadn't been for you flubbing those lines in the last movie, Shatner!
Shatner: Geez, get over it will yah?
Takei: So long as I live... I'll never forget. Never!

Esteban: Metallic mass?
David: No, Critical Mass! Damn cyclists are clogging up the streets; we can't even get pass them.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Esteban: Metallic mass?
.

Saavik (thinking): So thats where I dropped my dildo.

 

[Mr Silver]

Esteban: "Metallic mass?"

David: "Judas Priest concert."

Saavik: "Judas Priest concert?"

David: "Yes we shot them there from Enteprise, they were fruitful and multiplied

Saavik: "But how could they have evolved so quickly?"

 

[Maurice]

David: "She just beat our high score on Rescue on Fractalus."

Hooray! I love that game!

Kirk: "My God! The Yorktown is pregnant!"

SULU: And the Enterprise is the father.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "My God! The Yorktown is pregnant!"

SULU: And the Enterprise is the father.

Uhura: "Sir, Captain Mason is on the line."

Kirk: "Tell him I'm on the can."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

McCoy; "Jim, you're on your own."