Spendthrift or Scrooge?

[K'Ehleyr]

How do you value your money?
(inspired by Captain M's thread and the 'free dinner' thread)

~ In the run up to Christmas I have noticed 2 dramatic distinctions.

Example ~ our work's Christmas 'do'...

3 out of the 6 of us met for cocktails at a swanky Japanese bar before going on to a Very Reasonably priced pub for Christmas dinner. I paid at the bar, and was happy to, as it was my idea (although each cocktail was as much as I earn an hour). No problem and they were delicious and we had fun. The bar service, however, was slow and we were 10 minutes late arriving at the other pub for the booked dinner.

The other 3 there before us had their dinners in front of them already, they had chosen not to wait for the rest of us to arrive, as they were 'hungry'. We were the only table booked so there was no rush at all.

When told that our boss had said he'd buy us a round of drinks for Christmas, the couple that had pointed out that as they did not drink they would not be contributing to any alcohol consumed on the evening both promptly ordered large glasses of red wine.

To say their whole attitude was rude is an understatement.

Sometimes I don't understand peoples attitude to money. I don't earn a lot, at all ~ but I enjoy giving and making people happy and not moaning about what anything costs.

2nd example ~ trip to London last Monday. Arrived in Victoria with Salvation Army band Christmas Carolling. It immediatly cheered me up and I dropped a couple of £s in their pot. Did the same for Jazz band on the bridge and shelled out £9 for 2 beers at a horrendous bar ~ with no worries.
But at the end of the day, after tramping MILES around London and feet burning suggested a tube train back to station ~
"But it's £4!"
"We've just paid £100 for tickets to the show and you're wingeing about £4 to save a 3/4 hour walk, in these heels!!!"
I threw the money at the other party the next day, with a side-kick of 'thanks for a lovely time'.

So by now you must have realised I don't like Scrooges ~ Christmas time or anywhen else. I'm in no way saying that I "flash the cash" as I don't have a lot to be able do so, and if I did, I would find it vulgar ~ but I find frugality distinctively unattractive.

Would be interested to know how other people think.

BTW ~ I don't possess a credit card, I'm up to date with my bills, I support Son. I work hard for my money and I have no guilt in spending it in whatever way I choose.
Ok ~ rant over.

But would like to know that I'm not on my own with this thinking...

 

[auntiehill]

Well, I'm somewhere between the two, I guess. I don't have much money this year, but I want to buy gifts for everyone in my "circle"--nice gifts that I think they'll like. But I've had to put a price limit on myself and keep it to about 30-ish bucks per person.

But, if I was invited out, AND I DON'T DRINK btw, I would not chip in for alcohol. but then , neither would I suddenly change my mind and order a drink for the hell of it, just because someone else paid for it. What the hell is that about, anyway? If you don't drink, then you don't drink. Period.

I always generously tip and wait to order (let alone eat) when out with friends who might be running late. To do otherwise is pretty rude, unless the people are ridiculously late (like an hour +).

Yes, it's important to be frugal when you don't have any money to begin with, but if you're out with friends and already spending x-amount, it's very rude to quibble about a few dollars here or there.

If money was that tight, I wouldn't be out on the town in the first place.

 

[Mr Silver]

I'm very bad for using money I don't have to treat friends or family, I'm kind like that, Even in Restuarants, I will 9 times out of 10 leave a tip...

I'm not really much of a Scrooge, but I'm kind of forced to be one at the moment, i've just moved into my own flat and times are tough while i'm looking for work, so i've got to basically scrimp and save everything I can

 

[Amaris]

I'm very bad for using money I don't have to treat friends or family, I'm kind like that, Even in Restuarants, I will 9 times out of 10 leave a tip...

I'm not really much of a Scrooge, but I'm kind of forced to be one at the moment, i've just moved into my own flat and times are tough while i'm looking for work, so i've got to basically scrimp and save everything I can

Same here. Right now, I don't have any money to spend outside of the barest of essentials. When I do have money, though, after paying what needs paid, I spend it on friends and family. I find that to be the best use of my money.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I consider myself to be frugal rather than being a scrooge. That is why I can survive easily on my pension. I am not mean with money, just careful and, though I will spend it, I don't like to waste it.

I do like giving Christmas and birthday presents and will spend as much as I can reasonably afford. This Christmas I am spending about $200 on presents.

I don't like spending too much money on a meal so if I go out I would prefer a reasonably priced bistro. I don't drink alcohol and sometimes I will just have water with a meal.

I will sometimes walk when I could easily catch a bus but I like walking and I never wear unsuitable shoes. It is very cheap for me to catch buses ($3.00 for a whole day on as many buses as I want).

I regularly donate small amounts (i.e $10 at a time) to my favourite charity. I think I have donated about $200 to them this year). i occasionally give to other charities if they are collecting in the street and I will give to disaster appeals. I refuse to give to charities that say I must sign up for monthly deposits before I can give.

I don't own a credit card.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Well, I'm somewhere between the two, I guess. I don't have much money this year, but I want to buy gifts for everyone in my "circle"--nice gifts that I think they'll like. But I've had to put a price limit on myself and keep it to about 30-ish bucks per person.

But, if I was invited out, AND I DON'T DRINK btw, I would not chip in for alcohol. but then , neither would I suddenly change my mind and order a drink for the hell of it, just because someone else paid for it. What the hell is that about, anyway? If you don't drink, then you don't drink. Period.

I always generously tip and wait to order (let alone eat) when out with friends who might be running late. To do otherwise is pretty rude, unless the people are ridiculously late (like an hour +).

Yes, it's important to be frugal when you don't have any money to begin with, but if you're out with friends and already spending x-amount, it's very rude to quibble about a few dollars here or there.

If money was that tight, I wouldn't be out on the town in the first place.

30'ish bucks is very generous I think for a pressie. My Mum and Dad are getting less than that ~ but they hate Christmas anyway as they 'have all they need' And to try and buy someone a surprise present for someone with that attitude is just not worth doing.
Dad still hasn't unwrapped the dvd we got him last year as they can't work the dvd player ~ so my gift for them this year will be going and showing them how to do it!

I do get your point about sharing costs with people that do drink and I would expect to pay my own way on that, as I would others. But, as you say, the fact that they happily consumed the free wine is hypocritical!
What can you say?!

I'm very bad for using money I don't have to treat friends or family, I'm kind like that, Even in Restuarants, I will 9 times out of 10 leave a tip...

I'm not really much of a Scrooge, but I'm kind of forced to be one at the moment, i've just moved into my own flat and times are tough while i'm looking for work, so i've got to basically scrimp and save everything I can

Same here. Right now, I don't have any money to spend outside of the barest of essentials. When I do have money, though, after paying what needs paid, I spend it on friends and family. I find that to be the best use of my money. [/QUOTE]

I love that bit (I've mucked up the quotes but you get the jist)
So yes, at the end of the day ~ 'it's only money'!

 

[WillsBabe]

I don't consider myself to be either a spendthrift or a Scrooge. I think the perception of someone being those things is often in the eye of the beholder: something which someone would happily spend their money on isn't something that someone else would consider to be a worthwhile use of their money.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I don't consider myself to be either a spendthrift or a Scrooge. I think the perception of someone being those things is often in the eye of the beholder: something which someone would happily spend their money on isn't something that someone else would consider to be a worthwhile use of their money.

QFT

I buy at least one book a week. My bookish family consider this to be normal but some people think I am spendthrift for doing this.

On the other hand I buy most of my furniture and clothes secondhand. Some people think that this shows that I am stingy with money but it just makes sense to me to do this.

 

[scotpens]

. . . Yes, it's important to be frugal when you don't have any money to begin with . . .

^^THIS!!

I wish I could afford to throw money around, but with things as they are, I've barely a pot to piss in.

And I'm glad the OP understands the correct meaning of "spendthrift." Many people nowadays seem to think it means thrifty or frugal, when, of course, it means the exact opposite.

 

[Mr Light]

I'm a total cheapskate and thank god so is my GF. We don't buy anything unless it's on sale

 

[RoJoHen]

Somewhere between Option 1 and 3. If I'm out, I have no problems buying drinks for friends or taking care of their dinner tab. Sometimes I do it just to be nice, and other times I do it because I know their money is a little tighter than mine. I have such a great group of friends that I know that they'll return the favor for me. We pretty much all break even when all is said and done.

I also love buying myself presents, and if that means signing up for another credit card (my latest is Amazon, which roped me in during Black Friday), so be it!

 

[Spot's Meow]

I don't think what they did was necessarily rude in your first example. If they had decided not to contribute to the alcohol fund but then ordered drinks on the group's tab anyway, that would have been selfish and rude. But they made a conscious decision not to drink because they didn't feel it was worth it/didn't have the money to chip in for it. So if someone suddenly offers them a free drink, why should they pass it up? It's not coming from the community pot so no one else in the group is being forced to pay for it. If the boss didn't want everyone ordering drinks on him then obviously he wouldn't have offered in the first place.

The only rude part I see is that they lied and said they don't drink, but I can relate to that. It's often a lot easier to just tell people you don't drink instead of constantly repeating yourself about how you can't afford another one or you don't feel like having anymore. They say things like "it's just money!" which is highly irritating to me since that money is the stuff that buys my food and my shelter, which are a lot more important to me than chipping in for some alcohol. When I go out with friends I often tell them I don't drink. I don't necessarily mean I don't EVER drink, it just means that I don't feel like paying for it at that time. But if it suddenly became free, there is no reason to pass up an opportunity.

I probably sound like a scrooge from what I've just written, but really I feel like I'm just being logical about the whole thing. Some things are worth my money, and some aren't. Most aren't. It's not that I don't care about being generous with my friends, but I feel that I am emotionally generous, which is far more important, and that there are ways to have a good time without spending a lot of money. If these ways exist, why would I ever choose to go the more expensive route? If I would have just as much fun and good conversation with my friend over a bucket of KFC and some sodas, why would I bother paying for a fancier meal? Just because something is more expensive does not mean you are getting more enjoyment or use out of it, it is really the company you keep that is most important.

So I am often very reluctant to spend money at all. I really care about getting the best value out of everything I purchase, so I will spend quite a lot of time researching items before I buy them. I don't always go with the absolute cheapest item, I go with the one that has the best value to me personally. Other people rate value according to their own definitions, and that's fine with me. I do feel that many people are careless with their money though, and although they would be just as happy with a cheaper option they go with the more expensive one anyway. For show, because they think expensive equals better, to impress others, I'm not really sure why really.

So I don't see myself as a scrooge, I see myself as using logic to sort out the worthy purchases from the bad. There's no benefit in needlessly spending money that could have been saved.

I do tend to loosen up a bit on Christmas gifts for people, as I really really love getting people something that I know they want. In that case the money is worth it, but not when I'm buying things for myself.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I enjoy being a spendthrift, but I can't often afford it. So I end up in the middle, really. My natural inclinations keep me away from scroogedom but my circumstances prevent me slipping the other way.

 

[Captain Shaw]

I don't drive so if one of my friends is driving I will pay for the parking.
Even if I'm not drinking alcohol I will still by a round.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I don't consider myself to be either a spendthrift or a Scrooge. I think the perception of someone being those things is often in the eye of the beholder: something which someone would happily spend their money on isn't something that someone else would consider to be a worthwhile use of their money.

Yeah, I've thought about your comment for a while and I have come to the conclusion that some people are just tight with their money and I don't like that trait in a person.

I realise that not everyone (indeed at the moment, hardly any of us) has money to throw around, I don't myself and, as I pointed out ~ I would find it vulgar if someone did so.

I don't consider myself to be either a spendthrift or a Scrooge. I think the perception of someone being those things is often in the eye of the beholder: something which someone would happily spend their money on isn't something that someone else would consider to be a worthwhile use of their money.

QFT

I buy at least one book a week. My bookish family consider this to be normal but some people think I am spendthrift for doing this.

On the other hand I buy most of my furniture and clothes secondhand. Some people think that this shows that I am stingy with money but it just makes sense to me to do this.

My flat is furnished with everything second hand and I buy my books from charity shops.

. . . Yes, it's important to be frugal when you don't have any money to begin with . . .

^^THIS!!

I wish I could afford to throw money around, but with things as they are, I've barely a pot to piss in.

And I'm glad the OP understands the correct meaning of "spendthrift." Many people nowadays seem to think it means thrifty or frugal, when, of course, it means the exact opposite.

You can buy dictionarys from charity shops as well

And I totally don't have money to throw around ~ I just enjoy sharing the little bit of the pot that I do have to sprinkle

I'm a total cheapskate and thank god so is my GF. We don't buy anything unless it's on sale

Absolutely! I'm totally with you on sales and bargains etc. ~ that's why I buy on ebay, ask for the total with combined p&p and end up giving a donation to a charity of almost all my final total. ~ Yeah I'm pretty crap at that!

Somewhere between Option 1 and 3. If I'm out, I have no problems buying drinks for friends or taking care of their dinner tab. Sometimes I do it just to be nice, and other times I do it because I know their money is a little tighter than mine. I have such a great group of friends that I know that they'll return the favor for me. We pretty much all break even when all is said and done.

I also love buying myself presents, and if that means signing up for another credit card (my latest is Amazon, which roped me in during Black Friday), so be it!

What goes around comes around ~ when you have money you pay, when you are broke your friends pay. Karma!

I don't think what they did was necessarily rude in your first example. If they had decided not to contribute to the alcohol fund but then ordered drinks on the group's tab anyway, that would have been selfish and rude. But they made a conscious decision not to drink because they didn't feel it was worth it/didn't have the money to chip in for it. So if someone suddenly offers them a free drink, why should they pass it up? It's not coming from the community pot so no one else in the group is being forced to pay for it. If the boss didn't want everyone ordering drinks on him then obviously he wouldn't have offered in the first place.

The only rude part I see is that they lied and said they don't drink, but I can relate to that. It's often a lot easier to just tell people you don't drink instead of constantly repeating yourself about how you can't afford another one or you don't feel like having anymore. They say things like "it's just money!" which is highly irritating to me since that money is the stuff that buys my food and my shelter, which are a lot more important to me than chipping in for some alcohol. When I go out with friends I often tell them I don't drink. I don't necessarily mean I don't EVER drink, it just means that I don't feel like paying for it at that time. But if it suddenly became free, there is no reason to pass up an opportunity.

I probably sound like a scrooge from what I've just written, but really I feel like I'm just being logical about the whole thing. Some things are worth my money, and some aren't. Most aren't. It's not that I don't care about being generous with my friends, but I feel that I am emotionally generous, which is far more important, and that there are ways to have a good time without spending a lot of money. If these ways exist, why would I ever choose to go the more expensive route? If I would have just as much fun and good conversation with my friend over a bucket of KFC and some sodas, why would I bother paying for a fancier meal? Just because something is more expensive does not mean you are getting more enjoyment or use out of it, it is really the company you keep that is most important.

So I am often very reluctant to spend money at all. I really care about getting the best value out of everything I purchase, so I will spend quite a lot of time researching items before I buy them. I don't always go with the absolute cheapest item, I go with the one that has the best value to me personally. Other people rate value according to their own definitions, and that's fine with me. I do feel that many people are careless with their money though, and although they would be just as happy with a cheaper option they go with the more expensive one anyway. For show, because they think expensive equals better, to impress others, I'm not really sure why really.

So I don't see myself as a scrooge, I see myself as using logic to sort out the worthy purchases from the bad. There's no benefit in needlessly spending money that could have been saved.

I do tend to loosen up a bit on Christmas gifts for people, as I really really love getting people something that I know they want. In that case the money is worth it, but not when I'm buying things for myself.

The 'alcohol fund' was not the 'rude' bit ~ it was the fact that they had ordered and started eating their meals before we even joined them even though we were only 10 mins late.
I organised the 'do' and chose the pub. It was £7 per head, (I had chosen the cheapest deal available) for a Christmas Turkey meal including a free drink. The pre-dinner cocktails elsewhere, were my idea and were optional and I gladly paid.
I'm sorry if the phrase "it's just money" offends you, but I would not go out for an evening expecting everything to be paid for me, and if I didn't have the money, or were not prepared to pay any extra ~ I would not go.
I would feel embarressed.

I enjoy being a spendthrift, but I can't often afford it. So I end up in the middle, really. My natural inclinations keep me away from scroogedom but my circumstances prevent me slipping the other way.

Oh ~ a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade income ~ totally sucks! We can but dream...

I don't drive so if one of my friends is driving I will pay for the parking.
Even if I'm not drinking alcohol I will still by a round.

When are you going out next? At last someone gets the situation ~ XXX

 

[bluedana]

I don't mind spending money, but I hate to waste it.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I don't mind spending money, but I hate to waste it.

How would you view waking up in the morning and finding out you'd bought a knitted nose-warmer from Ebay?

Frivolous fun or an outrageous waste of money?

 

[Jadzia]

I would say that I'm slightly on the scrooge side of average, as in being careful with my money but not to the extent that I'm tight fisted... which I think is a good thing.

My parent's taught me seven things about money:

1. Save. Don't spend it just because you have it.
2. Besides a mortgage, avoid debt. Only spend what you have.
3. Pay off your mortgage as quickly as you can.
4. Only buy things if you really need them and when you can afford them.
5. Don't spend money on impulse. Take time to mull over your options.
6. Buy the best quality things you can afford.
7. Pay your way fairly, and don't be tight fisted.

 

[MANT!]

My wife and I are thrifty,however that doesn't stop us from having a good time or life..we save for special times (Our Adventure in Israel last month) and spend very little in the meantime. When we go out with friends, we never eat before our friends arrive..it's a group thing after all..

We do make EVERY dollar scream for mercy..we look for bargains in just about everything..from the cars we drive to the DVDs and Blu-Rays I purchase..


Savings are very important to us..but one can't take the money after death, so we do use our savings every now and then to experience life..and we try to be generous..

(As I type this, a wardrobe box FULL of needed clothing is approaching Brazil..it cost us $300 dollars to send approx 160lbs of items in the box. This will be used by Dear Wife's poor relatives in Brazil to improve their standard of living)


Scrooge..no.. Spendthrift..not really..

Targeted spending..Yes..so frugal it is...

 

[PlainSimpleJoel]

At the moment, I'm more of a scrooge than spendthrift. This year I'm only buying a few presents, and that will be done a few days before Christmas.