Should we have a bereavement and health problems forum?

[An Officer]

I hear you.
Those would be the fools that act like they're in TNZ when they are in other threads. Little Angry Nerds.

Oh yes, the type that get their cheap kicks trying to rile people... the medicine I mete out to them is to ignore them completely, they do not deserve the dignity of a response.

The kind that I also suspect would not dare say boo to a goose face to face and are desperately over-compensating for that here.

 

[Nardpuncher]

^ I like that goose face thing!

I go into TNZ about once a month when I get bored in the other forums and always regret it.
Some of the posters you think you know are saying some really rude, stupid stuff in there. Pissing in the wind they are.

 

[sidious618]

TNZ bashing? Must be a day ending with a "y"...

 

[RegFan]

I'm in favor of keeping Misc as it is. If you don't want to read depressing threads, don't read them. And if silly and fun threads are what you want, why don't you start them yourselves?

 

[RJDiogenes]

^ So sweet. You are my new favourite agony uncle.

Hmmm, "Uncle Agony." Sounds like a super-villain or a horror movie.

While I agree with you generally speaking, in terms of leaving Misc the way it is because such a forum might be overlooked or avoided...I wouldn't say that *everyone* in here was nice when others are clearly in pain.

Some people (most people) are very understanding and recognize a soul in need of support, and act accordingly. But frankly, there are a couple of folks in here who quite often act like insensitive jerks in the face of other people's pain, and have been very hurtful and mean.

Sure, that's why I said "a lot of people." There will always be the occasional jerk, but the good seriously outnumber the bad.

 

[SicOne]

I'm not even gonna venture a guess in what percentage of Trek BBS posters, whether those who routinely hang out in Miscellaneous or who roam all forums, are of "average" mental health and fitness but if you're going to have a bereavement and health forum, you should expand it to include mental health and even romantic health.

It could be entitled something akin to "I Got Issues" (though perhaps worded more diplomatically...) and in that forum you can post everything you're feeling verklempt about that day. All of the "My (fill in the blank) Died" and "Why Is It So Hard To Find A Woman?"-type threads can be shuffled over there, right along with "I Had An Anxiety Attack On The Subway This Morning".

Lest you think I'm being facetious, folks, I'm as serious as a heart attack. All of us, even SicOne his own august self, has good days and bad days...and though I'm more inclined to keep my life drama to myself, I have benefitted from seeing good advice passed on to others in these forums by folks who have been in those situations, gotten through it, and been the better for it in the end. I've even dispensed some advice to others, particularly in the dating arena, though two decades with Mrs. SicOne has me admittedly off my game and as such should be taken with a grain of salt. Or several. I try to help when I can.

But...if the BBS is contemplating such a forum or lounge or what-have-you, the mods need the right and ability to immediately pull messages from ill-meaning and nasty users. When in doubt, throw it out. Even if the global economy wasn't fucked and people seem to suck even more than usual nowadays, not everyone handles life's little curveballs with aplomb and dignity and preparation, and I'm addressing all of us here, not just the drama queens (you know who you are). If what you're going through is serious enough to put up for all to see and comment upon and you're looking for a little sympathy and understanding, if not actual advice on how to handle your particular situation (sometimes all you wanna do is kvetch about it, and that's all well and fine), having some asshat telling you to "Get a life!" or that, clearly, suicide is the only alternative to your situation is not gonna help you, and that's where the mods need to step in and pull that unhelpful post in its entirety.

(No, I'm not going to volunteer...sometimes I'm on here every other day, sometimes every other month; you need people who are on daily, if not hourly, to keep the trolls and riff-raff at bay.)

We're all human and we all have our own little idiosyncracies, quirks, attitudes and problems, whether self-created or situational, and while many of us may never use such a forum and others may use it to excess (again, the drama queens), I believe it would be a good thing to have available. As Sybok said in Star Trek V, "Share your pain...and gain strength from the sharing."

Anyway, that's my $0.02 worth on the situation. Hope this helps.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I haven't been active here that long, so I don't know how much the tone of the folder has changed, but I think it's fine right now. It's both silly and serious -- that's called real life.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I'm racking my brain to think of one of these apparently commonplace occurrences where the rampaging TNZ horde rides in from the wasteland to harass someone suffering genuine tragedy or depression. Boy, that would really be terrible of them if it was even remotely true.

There are people who make a habit of starting threads soliciting advice for problems they seem to have no intention of ever making any effort to solve that get some tough love from posters from all over the board, but I've seen no indication that there's any concerted evil TNZ campaign behind it. It's just posters, some from TNZ, some not, taking part in the discussion as individuals.

Sounds more like people who have a grudge making rude, stupid comments in protest of rude, stupid comments in a thread that was a friendly discussion and had absolutely nothing to do with TNZ or insults until they brought it up. I'm pretty sure misrepresenting posters as evil bastards who constantly insult grieving depressed people or calling them a bunch of angry nerds - besides being an ironic insult from a member of a Star Trek board - is kind of rude too.

Maybe people would get along with each other better if they weren't always trying to factionalize everyone on the board to hold themselves up as better or above it all while displaying the same behaviors they claim to loathe in others.

 

[Nardpuncher]

I'm racking my brain to think of one of these apparently commonplace occurrences where the rampaging TNZ horde rides in from the wasteland to harass someone suffering genuine tragedy or depression. Boy, that would really be terrible of them if it was even remotely true.

There are people who make a habit of starting threads soliciting advice for problems they seem to have no intention of ever making any effort to solve that get some tough love from posters from all over the board, but I've seen no indication that there's any concerted evil TNZ campaign behind it. It's just posters, some from TNZ, some not, taking part in the discussion as individuals.

Sounds more like people who have a grudge making rude, stupid comments in protest of rude, stupid comments in a thread that was a friendly discussion and had absolutely nothing to do with TNZ or insults until they brought it up. I'm pretty sure misrepresenting posters as evil bastards who constantly insult grieving depressed people or calling them a bunch of angry nerds - besides being an ironic insult from a member of a Star Trek board - is kind of rude too.

Maybe people would get along with each other better if they weren't always trying to factionalize everyone on the board to hold themselves up as better or above it all while displaying the same behaviors they claim to loathe in others.

I may be a nerd, but I'm not an angry one that argues needlessly about politics on a Trek board.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I may be a nerd, but I'm not an angry one that argues needlessly about politics on a Trek board.

Of course not. If you were angry you'd be doing something like picking fights for no reason over made up issues in previously non-problematic threads while trying to feel superior to people for simply having different interests than you do and discussing those interests in the appropriate forum.

 

[Nardpuncher]

I may not like you, but as I said I don't argue about politics on a Trek board.

 

[sidious618]

I may not like you, but as I said I don't argue about politics on a Trek board.

No, you just argue about arguing politics on a Trek message board. Well done.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'm racking my brain to think of one of these apparently commonplace occurrences where the rampaging TNZ horde rides in from the wasteland to harass someone suffering genuine tragedy or depression. Boy, that would really be terrible of them if it was even remotely true.

There are people who make a habit of starting threads soliciting advice for problems they seem to have no intention of ever making any effort to solve that get some tough love from posters from all over the board, but I've seen no indication that there's any concerted evil TNZ campaign behind it. It's just posters, some from TNZ, some not, taking part in the discussion as individuals.

Sounds more like people who have a grudge making rude, stupid comments in protest of rude, stupid comments in a thread that was a friendly discussion and had absolutely nothing to do with TNZ or insults until they brought it up. I'm pretty sure misrepresenting posters as evil bastards who constantly insult grieving depressed people or calling them a bunch of angry nerds - besides being an ironic insult from a member of a Star Trek board - is kind of rude too.

Maybe people would get along with each other better if they weren't always trying to factionalize everyone on the board to hold themselves up as better or above it all while displaying the same behaviors they claim to loathe in others.

This is true. I can only think of one example of someone Posting insensitively in a Thread involving genuinely sad news. Most of the insensitivity (or, shall we say, counterproductive advice) shows up in Threads relating to personal issues such as family or relationship problems. But, as I said, the good far outweighs the bad here.

 

[An Officer]

Where Locutus posts, Sidious is never far behind, like a faithful little lamb with fangs. Must you two tag-team people? You're like a gang or something. It's rare one of you speaks alone, back-up is needed apparently. Extremely unbecoming in a moderator, I must say. You should be trying to defuse the situation Locutus, not incite it.

 

[pookha]

I don't think a separate Bereavement and Health Problems Forum is a good idea. We have a lot of nice people in Misc and when somebody suffers a tragedy or a problem, there is always an outpouring of sympathy and support-- but a separate Forum would be a quiet, lonely place. A handful of people would check in from time to time, like old timers reading the obituaries, but most people wouldn't even think of it. This is the place where people come, where they hang out and share their thoughts and experiences, where they talk about their lives, both the good parts and the bad parts. We don't want to send the members of our community off into a corner alone when they need us the most.

i totally agree with all of this.
and would like to add no in who reads the misc thread titles is compelled to open any of them.

to down to deal with someone else's sorrow at the moment.. then dont open the thread.
if you want more happy light hearted threads read them or even create them.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

We've had threads like these since Misc started. They tend to go in waves (they always say bad things happen in threes, maybe that's the case). I like keeping them here, though. Misc is the most popular forum on the board. When they're here people can see them and a poster might get the support/opinions he needs.

 

[sidious618]

Where Locutus posts, Sidious is never far behind, like a faithful little lamb with fangs. Must you two tag-team people? You're like a gang or something. It's rare one of you speaks alone, back-up is needed apparently. Extremely unbecoming in a moderator, I must say. You should be trying to defuse the situation Locutus, not incite it.

lol wut?

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Where Locutus posts, Sidious is never far behind, like a faithful little lamb with fangs. Must you two tag-team people? You're like a gang or something. It's rare one of you speaks alone, back-up is needed apparently. Extremely unbecoming in a moderator, I must say. You should be trying to defuse the situation Locutus, not incite it.

Yes, what are the odds of two posters who both frequently post in Miscellaneous and TNZ (like dozens of others), and who had both posted in this thread before the problem even started might share a common opinion on a made up attack on TNZ posters? Coordination is the only rational explanation! Like how you and Nardpuncher clearly must have coordinated your comments, right? Because two people have never independently agreed on anything on this board before today. Is RJ part of my posse too?

It's strange that sidious wasn't going along with the program earlier in the thread when I was defending you from a misunderstanding. Thanks by the way for turning around and attacking me with fictional conspiracy theories after that, especially since I wasn't criticizing you in any way and the problem was already over and done with.

Making up problems to try and alienate fellow posters because they happen to post in different forums and have different interests was what I took issue with, and you chose to respond by making up an additional non-existent problem to alienate fellow posters. Posters from TNZ have a wealth of different opinions on a wide variety of subjects, so the attacks on them as of they are some kind of groupmind out to cause problems need to stop. Likewise with trying to dismiss the opinions of those who might disagree with you as some sort of conspiracy.

Yes, my post follows sidious', but that's only because you attacked both of us, so we both have a reason to respond. No black helicopters and Illuminati required.

 

[Nardpuncher]

I may not like you, but as I said I don't argue about politics on a Trek board.

No, you just argue about arguing politics on a Trek message board. Well done.

Do I really need to make the next sentence about you arguing about arguing about arguing?
The point is me saying that TNZ has far too much anger and swearing and negativity does not make me that negative as well. You can try to lump me in there, but it just won't work since I don't post in there with any kind of regularity at all.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I may not like you, but as I said I don't argue about politics on a Trek board.

No, you just argue about arguing politics on a Trek message board. Well done.

Do I really need to make the next sentence about you arguing about arguing about arguing?
The point is me saying that TNZ has far too much anger and swearing and negativity does not make me that negative as well. You can try to lump me in there, but it just won't work since I don't post in there with any kind of regularity at all.

The amount of "anger and swearing and negativity" in TNZ isn't even up to the same level as some other forums around here, so I don't know where you're going with that little "point."

If you don't like TNZ, don't read or post there. Easy.

This thread had nothing to do with TNZ, but I guess somebody always has to be the one to trot out the "TNZ sucks!" card. Must've been your turn in the rotation.