DS9 Caption Contest #15: Instability

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday to everyone! It's time for a new DS9 Caption contest, and I'd like to crown some well deserved winners!

First up, for showing that Quark can adapt to almost any situation, our winner is:

QUARK: I for one welcome our new Klingon overlords.

Next, for showing that Kira living with the O'Briens caused unexpected problems, our winner is:

O'Brien: "Hey, stop eating Molly's science project!"

For showing that Doctor Zimmerman is a very detail oriented man, or winner is:

Zimmerman: Since I'm going to be using you as a model for EMH II, I'll have to endure I get everything 100% accurate. And while we're at it--what is that on you back?

Bashir: I beg your pardon?

Zimmerman: A protrusion outward on the back of your uniform....

Bashir: Well! I don't know what on Earth--

Zimmerman: It appears to be...some sort of mole....

Bashir: Captain...?

Sisko: Oh, don't mind me. This is actually very interesting.

Just an awesome Caption, Nuff said. Our winner is:

Bashir: "My scans indicate that you've had a stick shoved up there for six seasons. I'm afraid that the only way to loosen it now is to do a goofball romantic episode where a holographic ladies man teaches you how to love."
Odo: "Dear god, no..."

And finally, an O'Brien being tortured caption, our winner is:

You know Keiko, when you said you wanted to make beautiful music together, this isn't exactly what I had in mind....

Congrats to all of our winners!

Lets rock and roll with a new contest.

 

[LeadHead]

Odo: Quark's disappearing? This is the best birthday ever!

Sisko: Welcome to the Defiant. There's a $20 cover charge. Pay up NOW.

Worf: So Ezri and Jadzias Lovemaking styles have slight differences...

Kira: Would you shut up?

Bashir: Let the man talk.

James Darren applied to be a new judge on American Idol, but had trouble getting past the Fox Executives.

Reading Harry Potter books was very painful for Dukat.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Thanks for the win!

During Odo's brief time as a solid, he had a terrifying recurring nightmare, and was often heard to wake up screaming
"Quarks Quarks everywhere, and not a drop to drink!"

Worf: Oh god, Sisko's in bad-ass mode. I'm scared shitless.
Odo: So am I.
Worf: Hold me.

Bashir: Oh god, Kira's in bad-ass mode. I'm scared shitless.
O'Brien: So am I.
Bashir: Hold me.

Man: It's YOU! You're the annoying holo-character who ruined the episode where Odo and Kira finally get together!
Do you have any idea how long the fans were waiting for that, and then you come along and -
Vic: Listen, Pal-y -
*man punches Vic in the face.*
Man: I'm not your "pal-y," you Rat Pack wannabe!

Reading Harry Potter books was very painful for Dukat.

But reading Twilight books was even more painful: "Bella is so damn passive!" Dukat complained.
"And Edward is a whiny emo wuss! At least the characters in Harry Potter are somewhat likeable!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Odo knew Quark was a transparent liar, but this was just pathetic.

Sisko: Welcome back to DS9, Captain Picard.

Vic: You er, Sinatra's boys? I can start singing my own stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: "'Goodbye Cruel World, I'm Off to Join the Circus".

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Early attempts to replace actors with digital doubles met with limited success.

Neelix: "Hi! I'm here for the crossover!"
Sisko: "The hell you are, mister."

O'Brien: "Zimmerman's nuts. I like the protrusion on your back. It's like a Stegosaurus spine."

Vic: "Sigh. Okay, but, this is the last time. Hit it boys!"
Vic: ♫ I like big butts and I can not lie... ♪

Dukat struggled with all his energy to perform the neck trick in his Bajoran body, but to no avail.

 

[T'Girl]

I sorry Deadhead, I know DS9 is supposed to be "Dark," but I don't think this is what the producers had in mind.
It's not that hard to up the exposure of your screen captures.

The Holy Books told Dukat he'd go blind if he didn't stop masturbating, and now ...

 

[Thor Damar]

Dukat's attempt to match the legendary Picard face palm goes disastrously wrong...

Sisko: I'm sick of these goddamn Pah-wraiths on this space-station

Odo: For the last time Captain, you are not Samuel L Jackson.

Sisko: Shut up fool!

Worf: (quietly) Good grief.

Quark: C'mon Odo, you must have heard of the invisible hand of the market right? Well, this is the semi-invisible waiter!

Odo: Are the drinks invisible too?

Quark: What...Damn you Adam Smith!!

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Quark critically misjudged the crews' reaction to his efforts to establish a red light district on the Promenade.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thanks for the win!

Okay--LET'S DO THIS!

HoloQuark: Help me, Odo-Ital Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Odo: (sigh) Quark...what is it this time?

HoloQuark: (flickers) Help me, Odo-Ital Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Odo: Excuse me? Where did "Kenobi" come from?

HoloQuark: (flickers) Help me, Odo-Ital Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Odo: Quark, I know what you said! Now, what is it?

HoloQuark: (flickers) Help me, Odo-Ital Kenobi. You're my only hope....

Kira: (thinking) Oy...so it's come to this. Now Sisko's speeches are getting dull.

Heckler: FIRE!!!

Human Dukat: UGH! What IMBECILE said that Chaucer must be read in the ORIGINAL dialect!


(And NOW...feast your eyes, folks):

 

[Rush Limborg]

Odo knew Quark was a transparent liar, but this was just pathetic.

AWESOME! This one should be a winner!

 

[T'Girl]

Drunk #1: "Screw this, bring out the strippers."
Drunk #2: "Hey buddy, that is the stripper."

A cowboy, a biker, a indian and a construction worker walk on stage behind Vic.

Drunk #1: "Boy, am I in the wrong strip club."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SISKO: Crap. We're gonna need a bigger gun.

KIRA: Mention my hair again and you'll get what I gave O'Brien.

BASHIR ( shrugs): He has two kids, so it not like he still needed them.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Odo (OS): "...So, while I do love you, I've come to understand that it is more like as a sister. But I hope we can still be friends."
Bashir (thinking): "Oh, this is going to get ugly."

Reading Morn's tell-all memoirs:
"Brain soap! Need brain soap!!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Bashir: Have you finished yet?

O'Brien: All... most. Just... a... few... more... seconds.

Kira: Why don't you do that in your quarters?

O'Brien: Because, Keiko doesn't... like me... taking matters... into my own... HANDS. All done.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Odo turning directly to camera: "You might want to put your 3D glasses on now, boys and girls."

Sisko: "Starfleet Regulation 1564.36. No command officer will use a Dustbuster without security backup."

Quark os: "What! All I said was that I preferred your old hairstyle, Colonel."
Bashir: "Close your eyes Miles, you don't want to see this, and neither do I."

Heckler: "Hey, Sinatra-Lite. You were better on Quantum Leap!"

Winn os in style of Morpheus: "What has been seen, cannot be unseen."
Dukat: "When you offered to show me your photo album, you could have warned me about your invite to a Betazed wedding!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

[

Ghost of Quark: "I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! In life, my spirit never rose beyond the limits of our money-changing holes! Now I am doomed to wander without rest or peace!"

Odo: "Humbug"

Bajoran history text: The tyrant Dukat would grievously maltreat the people of Bajor during his decades-long appointment as prefect...

Dukat: "la la la la, NOT LISTENING".

 

[T'Boggan]

Odo" I can still see our tiny winky!"
Quark " Damn I knew I should have payed the extra the Deluxe cloaking device!"

Worf " Sir...Covering that Jem Hadar in $1.99 stickers will not seriously slow him down"

The Senior officers Farting competition was always good to fill in a dull moment or so...."

Customer: "Hey Waiter...bring me a funnier caption than this at the double!"

( Reads the Prophesies)
'And yea verily you will have to sleep with Nurse Mildred Ratched'

Dukat " Screams Aiyyyyeeeeeeeee!"

 

[Isis]

Heckler: "Hey, Sinatra-Lite. You were better on Quantum Leap!"

Heckler #2: "Actually, you hit your prime back on Time Tunnel."

 

[Isis]

Dukat: "Ollie ollie outs in free!"

 

[Isis]

Dukat: "Hey, did anyone remember to bring the Advil?"