Movie Caption Contest #163: Pain in the Rear

[Rat Boy]

We still haven't figured out how to grow new kidneys with a pill, but I at least know that it's time for another caption contest. Let's all stand around and critique...

I think this is worthy of a "Dayuuuuuuuuuuum!"

PRESIDENT: Status?

CARTWRIGHT: The probe has disabled everything in this system with the exception of planetside facilities and bases.

PRESIDENT: What about my wife?

CARTWRIGHT: Bad in bed.

OH...you...you mean something ELSE.

I've had the following look on my face before, though thankfully never due to haggis...

Scotty: Would you hurry the hell up in here? I gotta take a shit that could choke a horse.

Paging Dr. Kevorkian...

McCoy: "Save her? Are you crazy, Jim? That could damage the timeline. Hell, no, I'm not trying to save her! I'm trying to euthanize her!"

And our Photoshop winner, which begs the question what'll happen if Admiral Kirk runs into Doctor Cameron...

Hey Jim, This idiot behind me thinks I am crazy thinking I can grow her a new kidney!!!!!

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we see what happens when the pilot of News Chopper 10 empties his lucky flask, George Takei as an action star, and Laurence Luckenbill "thanking" William Shatner for the opportunity to star in Star Trek V. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "Damn, I was hoping I would catch them spooning."

Kirk: "Sulu, what are you shooting at?"

Sulu: "This damn ATM ate my card!"

Sybok: "Your pain, share it with me."

Kirk: "All right."

*kicks Sybok in the nuts*

 

[cooleddie74]

Sulu couldn't help it.

He LOVED watching men sleeping together.

There...are...no...longer...FOUR...LIGHTS!!!!

SYBOK: Your pain...share it with me!!!

KIRK: You're...standing...on...my...GROIN...

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: That's what you get for not inviting me to come with you boys.

Sulu was a harsh critic of Uhuras fan dance.

Spock: For crying out loud, can't Captain Kirk have an interaction with the vulcans without it turning into a battle to the death?

 

[cooleddie74]

MOST AWKWARD Boy Scout Jamboree ever.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sybok: "I'm only gonna tell you this once, punk! Keep your god-damned hands off my little brother's bike!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "I think I shot the sheriff."

Kirk: "Did you shoot the deputy?"

Sulu: "No, pretty sure I didn't."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Sybok: James T. Kirk was considered to be a great man. But that was in another life. A life i will deprive you of, just like i did your father!

 

[bullethead]

George Takei couldn't resist the opportunity to take a shot at William Shatner.

 

[Skywalker]

In a world...
Where former stars are desperate for any part that comes their way...
One man...
Will boldly go where no self-respecting actor has gone before.

This summer, George Takei is...
HOBO WITH A PHASER.

Sybok: "Your pain, it runs deep. Share it with me!"
Kirk: "All you have to do for that is watch this damn movie!"

 

[SmoothieX]

Don't miss George Takei as Mr. Sulu in a special crossover appearance, as he helps the Abydonians hold off Ra's evil forces.

While they got along great for the most part, Laurence Luckenbill was known to have his share of 'creative differences' on set with director William Shatner.

 

[SmoothieX]

The heroes of Border Wars discover another band of illegal drug traffickers just south of San Diego.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: Set phasers to... stunning!

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Get that damn light out of my face...and point it at the girls swimming naked in the river over there!"

Kirk: "Sulu, it's a ray gun! It doesn't have any recoil!"

Sybok: "Your pain runs deep. Share it with me!"

*Kirk pokes his eyeballs*

Kirk: "Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!"

 

[Isis]

Sulu: "Set phasers on utterly stunning."

[with apologies to the writers of Frasier]

 

[Gil T.Azell]

George "F*ck you Bill, and the horse you rode in on"
off screen
Shatner: "Oh my..."

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Oh not more anal probing"
*Sulu beams down*

Sulu appears in the best-forgotten movie, The Eskimo Bandit.

Sybok: "Your lunch money. Share it with me!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Thank ya much for the win Rat Boy.

Sybok: You're a dead man Kirk!

Kirk: It...was...the...Dukes! It...was...the...Dukes!

 

[Aragorn]

SULU: "It's coming straight at us! Shoot!"

CHEKOV: "No! It's not real! You're looking at a movie being played on a Vizio high definition plasma TV!"

SULU: "Vizio? Oh my!"

 

[Cyke101]

Two for the price of one!

Kirk: iINMIGRACIÓN!! iVamanos, muchahos! iDebemos escapar! iSULU, los reflectores...!

Sulu: *sigh* Doesn't he know we're in Canada?