TNG Caption This #176: Whoa There!

[LeadHead]

Saturday has come again, that means it's time for some winners to be crowned and a new caption contest to start.

Entering the winners circle:

First, for giving Riker a theme song, our winner is:

Riker (OS): "Captain, with all due respect, would you please stop playing 'Pop Goes the Weasel' whenever I walk into a room!"

For showing us that not all the scenes in TNG were winners, our winner is:

McFadden: "What do you know? There's a chest waxing scene after all."

Frakes: "I'm outta here."

For pure awesomeness, our winner is:

Troi: "Go ahead, make my Stardate."

For a great prank on a great Android our winner is:

When his hidden camera showed Data, of all beings, falling for the 24th Century variation on the squirting lapel flower, Wesley roared.

And I know this wasn't the only caption on this particular theme, but making a great play on word can work wonders as it did for our winner:

Bandito Data: "Comm Badges? We do not need no stiking Comm badges!"

So now, out with the old, in with the new! Our new round of pics for this round are:

Happy Captioning!

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: Everybody out! It's the weekend!

Crusher: I suddenly have this urge to eat kibble.

Ensign Johnson: Maybe the next time I try to subdue an alien bad guy I'll use the phaser rather than my head.

As you can see the Ratings for Survivor: 1701-D are not impressive.

Data: Why do you guys always buy my birthday presents at the Dollar store?

 

[Hedbergian]

La Forge was never able to complete the "Engineering Door-Closing Escape" until the visor. Now he competes at the international level. I still think he's doping.

Ensign Johnson frequently erred in firefights, and chose the stun setting rather than kill. His enemies would always recoil in confusion as the ensign would subsequently lay on the ground and bang his head in to his phaser.

Ensign Johnson: STUPID STUPID PHASER!!! STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!

This is when the doctor asked me to take off my clothes and try on some dresses for the rest of the away team. I love being pretty.

 

[T'Girl]

LaForge found that sliding under emergency doors while wearing his ass-less uniform always gave him "rug burn."

 

[F. King Daniel]

COMMENCE EXTREME GEORDI BREAKDANCING!!!

"What's that, boy? Wesley's stuck down a well? Let's go!"

Riker (off screen): "Ugh, this is one of those crappy season one episodes, isn't it? What else is on?"

Data: "It would seem that my box of chocolates is empty."

Beverly: (*guilty stare*)

 

[Rat Boy]

Roddenberry (off camera): "Look, we know you know we were thinking about getting Reggie Jackson for this part, but you don't have to go showing off your base-stealing skills."

Q: "Irish setter my butt. She barks like an English dog."

Susanna: "And the last transmission we received was, 'My God, it's full of stars.'"

Picard (off camera): "Sounds boring. Let's go on an interesting mission!"

Crusher: "It's broken, isn't it?"

Data: "No, it merely has not been turned on. Why are you even involved with this shield project, anyway?"

Unfortunately, since the saucer section contained all of the ship's quarters, folks on the stardrive had to make do.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Q: "Okay, what's sandpaper like?"
Pooch: "Ruff!"
Q: "And what goes on top of a house?"
Pooch: "Roof!"
Q: "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Pooch: "Rooth!"
Q: *stares silently*
Pooch: "DiMaggio?"

Leijten: "When we found Ensign Taylor's uniform, we were worried that he might have met with foul play. It was only later that we discovered that he had just gotten lucky."

Pooch: "And the best part is: on the Internet, no one knows I'm a dog!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Q: *stares silently*
Pooch: "DiMaggio?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Q's birthday gift for Jean-Luc Picard: a full head of hair and a shiny coat.

Data: I have isolated the problem, doctor. 'Batteries not included'.

Yar's favorite punishment consisted of Extreme Push-Ups: collapsing on the floor meant contact with a fully-charged phaser.

 

[Rat Boy]

LaForge: "In before the lock!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

LA FORGE: What the...who would leave a banana peel on the deck???
DATA (os): Snicker

Q: It seems Wesley is trapped in a gravity well.

GOLDSHIRT: Paralysed...except for tongue...must use it...to fire..phaser...

And then the music goes " boom chica bow wow"...

DATA: A box shaped heart. Intriguing.

 

[Finn]

Q: "Okay, what's sandpaper like?"
Pooch: "Ruff!"
Q: "And what goes on top of a house?"
Pooch: "Roof!"
Q: "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Pooch: "Rooth!"
Q: *stares silently*
Pooch: "DiMaggio?"

Nice But I'm still going to try

Did any of you wonder where Q got that Irish Setter pup in that Voyager episode?

Leijten: "When we found Ensign Taylor's uniform, we were worried that he might have met with foul play. It was only later that we discovered that he had just gotten lucky."

Geordi: Lucky? How so?

 

[LeadHead]

Ensign Johnson: I'll do it! I really will!

O'Brien: Could ya get on with it already? My shift is almost over and I've got a date with Keiko.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Geordi failed to realize that while his garage door lacked a sensor feature, the engineering doors were incapable of crushing anyone but Wesley.

Q: What's that? Wesley is trapped in a well? Excellent! Wait until I tell Jean-Luc, he'll be so proud...

Ensign Johnson found, much to his shame, that he was incapable of holding a plank for more than twenty seconds.

As you can clearly see, our attempts to emulate the success of "Lost" have not succeeded. At the risk of plagiarism, I'm going to suggest introducing polar bears.

Data: But I asked the wizard for a heart, this is Worf's courage.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Q: "Well this is the last time I let Jean-Luc set me up on a blind date"

 

[Captain Crow]

Geordi: COMMANDER RIKER IS TAKING A DUMP!!!!! EVERYBODY OUT!!!!

 

[Kirby]

Geordi always used evacuation drills to put on a breakdancing display.

Ensign Johnson: "..99..100. Done!"
Worf: "That was 5 Ensign, you have no honor! I should make you do crunches where you lay!"

"And as you see by this video, the fan films have come a long way from since then. The actor playing Geordi was especially bad."

LeVar Burton: "Actually that was me."

 

[George]

Geordi: I got funky moves, champ! Look at my scratchin skills, bro!

Q: Finally, a conversation partner whose mind is equally advanced as mine!

Ensign Smith's attempt to imitate the Klingon sniping trick - firing a weapon with ones forehead - quite obviously failed.

Attorney: And as you can clearly see here, the accused persons clearly did not actually carry out the away mission, but instead decided to go uniform shopping in a place known to us as "Backstage"

Data: A miniature model of the high shrine of 1101001 on Bynar?
Crusher: You better like it, I replicated it myself!

 

[Mistral]

Q: "I took a poll of the crew. Nobody wants me to change you back."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Somewhere above Troi's quarters:

JOHNSON: We're gonna need a bigger hole. I can't see a thing.