DS9 Caption Contest #8: Spectator Sports

[LeadHead]

Hey everybody, sorry I'm a couple of days behind. My work schedule changed and I've been playing catch up on... well, everything.

Before the new caps, time for the winners!

First up, for revealing what the mysterious Cardassian Neck Trick really is, our winner is:

Quark's last thought was Maybe it was a mistake asking Garak to teach me to do the Cardassian neck trick...

Next for letting some Klingon Rage out at one of the most annoying franchises out there, our winner is:

Garak: So, I went to see Twilight: Eclipse today. I liked it.
Worf: Today is a good day for you to die.

Our next winner puts Garak into Musical Theatre...

and now to lighten the mood I present Gulbirt and sullivan...

"I am the very modern model of a secret agent incarnate,
I interrogate my victims in a manner most unusual,
with creepy smiles and monologues that vex the mind and cause distress.

I assassinate Senators and guards alike and between,
I can strike at any moment when compulsion takes me
(though not necessary when you'd prefer).
I can spin a lie to dazzle all who hear, the truth is nothing but a funny game to me.

I short I am but plan and simple in my manners most befittingly so I hope that you will find me most agreeable company..."

Bashir (offscreen): Oh, do shut up Garak.

For reminding us that Sisko could have extreme reactions to some situations, our winner is:

Garak: "What's the matter? Still a little too tight in the crotch?"

In lieu of a PhotoShop award this time around, our special award is to a special Tag Team Duo that when they work together, they're deadly...

Garak: "No, seriously; I wasn't trying to upload porn."

sotto voce: "Now, downloading, on the other hand..."

Congratulations to all our winners!

And now, time for some new entries:

Have at it!

 

[LeadHead]

Quark: As you can see this just went from Racquetball to Ultimate Fighting, place your bets!

Rom: Oh, come on! I don't smell That bad!

Odo: I'm replacing you with Eddington! See how you like it!

Bashir: That was amazing!

Garak: It was a foul ball.

Bashir: Whoops.

O'Brien hadn't had an episode that tortured him in a while so they added a scene where he got hit over the head by a Tennis Racket.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Quark: "And that, gentlemen, is why you should always pay me the extra six strips of latinum for a cup."

The 23rd Annual meeting of the Wesley Crusher Fan Club receives a record turn out.

Sisko: "Odo, they just neck pinched my batter!"
Odo: "So? The rule book clearly says that pinch hitters are allowed."

 

[AdmiralGarak]

O'Brien hadn't had an episode that tortured him in a while so they added a scene where he got hit over the head by a Tennis Racket.

O'Brien {Thinking to himself}: Maybe if I play dead, they'll find somebody else to torture next week.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Quark: "Hew-mons think tennis isn't a blood sport? Hah, I'll show them. Watch what happens to Dr. Bashir next! Place your bets on how long he'll survive!"

Rom proved to be very unpopular after he said his favorite episode of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" was "Move Along Home"

Odo: "Safe!" "Out!" "Strike!" "Foul!"
Sisko: "Wait, you're not making calls, you're just yelling out random baseball terms. You didn't read the rule book I gave you, did you?"
Odo: *hangs head* "No."

Bashir: "Did you see that? What an amazing play!"
Garak: *pouts* "Damn it Julian, every time I try to have a serious conversation about our relationship, you change the subject!"
Bashir: "Aww baby, don't be like that ..."

Bashir: *offscreen* "Look, I know you're overheated, but whatever you do, don't take your shirt off. The audience has seen quite enough of your man-boobs."

 

[mirandafave]

Quark: "Huh? This isn't the Vulcan Love Slave Program!"

Rom: "Huh? This isn't the Vulcan Love Slave program!"

O'Brien: Honestly Keiko, this isn't the Vulcan Love Slave program!

Odo: "Your granddaddy was a traitor to the Federation!"
Sisko: "Your granddaddy couldn't make it out of spacedock!"

Apparently not everyone appreciated the Bajoran sport: Corner and kill the Cardassian B*st*rd!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Quark: "Okay, he's down for the count! And now...the traditional celebratory fanny-paddling!"

Odo: "Just watch my fingers. One extended finger: fast ball. Two extended fingers: curve ball. And if I make a face like this, it just means my jock strap gave me a wedgie when I squatted down."

 

[Nerys Myk]

AUDIENCE: Booooooooooooooo

QUARK: If you dont shut up I'm changing it to the Parisi Squares tournament!

ROM: Maybe she said "under the bleachers".

ODO: Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!

Sisko shakes his head.

ODO: Touchdown?

GARAK: Why doesn't the guy with the bat just hit the guy throwing the balls at him?

OBRIEN: I'm okay...good thing it was just a spatula. Last time she tossed a frying pan at my head.

 

[Isis]

Quark couldn't understand why QVC viewers didn't go for his 'Tennis in a Box' wall ornaments.

 

[Rat Boy]

Quark: "The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat. Welcome to FBC's Wide Quadrant of Sports."

Rom quickly realized that Leeta would do anything (or take off anything) to get a free T-shirt.

Odo: "You touched the mound twice! That's two visits! Pull your pitcher!"

Sisko: "Damn that nitpicker Bruce Bochy!"

Boxing had become so boring in the 24th Century that it was putting bloodthirsty Cardassians to sleep.

O'Brien (thinking): A few inches to the right and I would've needed a proctologist to remove this ball.

 

[milo bloom]

Awesome, thanks for the win!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Shouting Voice (OS): "What were you thinking, you stupid ! That's a racket, not a spatula! This is a cooking simulation, you !"
O'Brien (thinking): "Jesus! This Gordon Ramsay hologram is a bitch!"

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks for another win.

Garak: You know, given the way you people are going crazy over this Star Trek: Voyager, I thought it would be better than this.

 

[<Kelly>]

O'Brien realised when he fell for the 23rd time that wearing ice-skates on the court was a bad idea.

 

[Skywalker]

Sisko: "Actually, I prefer Voyager."
Odo: "Yooooooou're OUTTA HEEEEEEEEERE!"

 

[Isis]

As the intergalactic fashion police arrived, Rom realized he hadn't made the best wardrobe choice that morning.

Sisko: "Fore? That's a golf term."

Odo: "With that throw you just made, 'fore' was spot on, I don't care what sport we're talking about."

After the altercation between the Jet Blue flight attendant and the passenger, Bashir and a few others made it clear they were on Team Flight Attendant.

O'Brien: "Boy, that was a tough game of ping-pong."

 

[LeadHead]

Odo: You're out!

Sisko: Why?

Odo: Because you invited the entire crew to play except me!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Odo: You're out!

Sisko: Why?

Odo: Because you invited the entire crew to play except me!

Sisko:"Please, you can't hit and you throw like a girl!"