TOS Caption Contest #181: The Last King of Scott-Land

[ItsGreen]

I cannot change the laws of "physics"!
Dr. McCoy said I've got to have thirty minutes with this liquid up my ass.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: And where is it you're from, Craig? I'm not familar with that accent.

FERGUSON: Funny, I was about to ask you the same.

 

[jep]

Scotty: "Jim, when did you discover that the rest of the crew thought you were an asshole?"

Kirk: "Say what now?"



.

 

[Tribble]

.

.

(I have to admit that I find that image of Scotty in a kilt quite sexy. )

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Scotty got back!

 

[jep]

Scotty, thinking to himself: "That should be MY chair. But no.... they give it to some sissy-mary Canadian rug-wearer!"



.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "What'd you expect, Doctor? You come from a bloody country where you gits play football with your hands!"

Kirk: "I give it a month before NBC wants to replace you in your time slot with a clone of Jay Leno."

 

[LeadHead]

Craig Ferguson: And then they gave me that Robot and I programmed it to say, "I can't change the Laws of Physics!"

Scotty: Watch it Ferguson!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Robot Skeleton Geoff Peterson, everybody!

(applause)

SCOTTY: Next up Capt. James T. Kirk, author of the bestseller How to Self Destruct An A.I. In Ten Steps. You wanna stick around for that Geoff?

GEOFF: Uh oh!

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: What do ye mean I cannae beam down?!

Guard: I'm sorry Mister Scott, we took a vote and we decided we can't let you be seen out in public dressed like that.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Did you say 'Hey, Blinkin?'"

Honor guard: "No, I said 'Abe Lincoln.'"

 

[ItsGreen]

Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody.

 

[ItsGreen]

It's armed now. Press this, 30 seconds later, POOF! Once it's activated,
there's no way to stop it.

 

[T'Girl]

Scotty: "I"m on a twenty-four hour pass woman and I'm looking to kill some time.

Stripper: "What a coincident, my name is Thyme."

Scotty: "Hee hee hee."

Security: "You kilt is down to your knees Mr Scott and the men and I are truly impressed."

Scotty: "What's so impressive about the kilt being down to my knees?"

Security (Looking down): "Because apparently it isn't long enough."

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: Who are we beaming aboard?

Guard: The Captain, he says we should appreciate him more.

Scotty: The overinflated ego-

Uhura: (over comm) Transporter Room, the Captain is ready to Beam Aboard.

Scotty: Sorry Transporter's broken. Tell him to enjoy the sub zero temperatures for another 2 hours.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: I see you, baby, shaking that ass.

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: It's okay Scotty, Kirk'll never know that you sat in his chair.

Scotty: My Butt Print won't come out!

Scotty: It's so nice to meet ye Lassie.

Lassie The Dog: Bark! Bark!

McCoy: Damn, he's still delusional from the bump on the head.

Purple Leprechaun: I don't know what you're talking about Dear Boy.

Scotty: Congratulations men, you get to beam down to a safe planet; Bear Trap 5!

Guards: Yay! ....What?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Scotty! Bagpipes for a ringtone! Really?"
Scott: "Aye."

Argelian Whore: "Hey, my tits are down here."

Scott: "What d'ye mean ye have to scan ma sporran!"
Security Chief: "Lieutenant Uhura's pet tribble has gone missing..."

Scott: "What d'ye mean ye have to scan ma sporran!"
Security Chief: "The Captain's spare hairpiece is missing..."

Scott: "What d'ye mean ye have to scan ma sporran!"
Security Chief: "We know it's not a sporran, we know you've grown your pubic hair out, and it's disgusting."

 

[Isis]

Scotty: "How much for the hat, lass? It's just the bonnie finishing touch me dress uniform needs."

 

[ItsGreen]

Dr. McCoy ponders the thought of
"To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before"
prior to his exam on Scotty's prostate.
Scotty doesn't look too thrilled either!