The Matrix
Why?
Because it sucks donkey tits.
Why?
Because it sucks donkey tits.
Films you can't stand...
- Thread starter Warped9
- Start date
Totally agree. Sunshine wants to be so dark, preachy and deep, but in the end it's just a bunch of horribly stupid characters surrounded by nice visuals. All of the problems the characters face in the movie are the result of their own stupidity. There were many WTF moments in this movie. Actually, from the moment on the pilot forgot to adjust the shield, every consecutive event was solely wtf.
Off the top of my head...
Trek XI--Why so many fans are bringing themselves to orgasm over this hollow, third-rate hackjob, I'll never know.
Titanic--I liked this film the first time I saw it, but on rewatching my opinion turned over completely. Now I can't walk by a screen showing it without flinching at the terribly trite dialogue.
Twilight--Okay, so everybody hates this too. But I can't remember the last time there was a film I couldn't even stand to sit through once. A friend insisted I try it, and I left her place after an hour, ready to mutilate all sensory organs.
I recently saw Gone With the Wind for a campus film thing: Boring. As. Fuck. Spent the entire film wishing the bitchy 'heroine' would just die already. Film classic? I'd rather watch the complete works of Uwe Boll. (And on the topic of 'classics', Casablanca and It's a Wonderful Life are also massively overrated, for similar reasons.)
Fictitiously yours, Trent Roman
Trek XI--Why so many fans are bringing themselves to orgasm over this hollow, third-rate hackjob, I'll never know.
Titanic--I liked this film the first time I saw it, but on rewatching my opinion turned over completely. Now I can't walk by a screen showing it without flinching at the terribly trite dialogue.
Twilight--Okay, so everybody hates this too. But I can't remember the last time there was a film I couldn't even stand to sit through once. A friend insisted I try it, and I left her place after an hour, ready to mutilate all sensory organs.
I recently saw Gone With the Wind for a campus film thing: Boring. As. Fuck. Spent the entire film wishing the bitchy 'heroine' would just die already. Film classic? I'd rather watch the complete works of Uwe Boll. (And on the topic of 'classics', Casablanca and It's a Wonderful Life are also massively overrated, for similar reasons.)
Fictitiously yours, Trent Roman
Independence Day - initial sense of terror and excitement quashed by excessive jingoism and starship-sized plotholes, Definitely one of the biggest cinematic letdowns of my life.
Batman Forever - although this isn't far behind. Two-Face and Riddler have long been two of my favourite characters and I was so looking forward to seeing them brought to life on the big screen. But the characters weren't actually in the movie...
300 - perhaps I wasn't expecting much as I considered the original GN to be only so-so, but this really did irritate the hell out of me from start to finish.
Phenomenon - interesting premise that transforms into a soppy gloopfest with the apparent message (though I can't quite be sure) that conformity is a good thing. Travolta is quite good though.
Batman Forever - although this isn't far behind. Two-Face and Riddler have long been two of my favourite characters and I was so looking forward to seeing them brought to life on the big screen. But the characters weren't actually in the movie...
300 - perhaps I wasn't expecting much as I considered the original GN to be only so-so, but this really did irritate the hell out of me from start to finish.
Phenomenon - interesting premise that transforms into a soppy gloopfest with the apparent message (though I can't quite be sure) that conformity is a good thing. Travolta is quite good though.
This.
I understand your point about the card game. But a lack of action?
There have only been two movies that I've actually walked out of a theater in the middle of them, and those were:
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
District 9
I know Rocky Horror is super popular, but I thought I had died and gone to hell sitting in that theater. Friends warned me that it was crazy and that people would yell stuff and throw stuff at the screen, but I never expected that it could be that ridiculous. I hated the way it looked, the characters, the dialogue, the music, and the audience participation. No redeeming qualities to me at all.
I had high hopes for District 9, as it looked right up my alley. After shaking my head and sighing for about 45 minutes, I got the hell out. I just about shit myself when I saw it was up for the best picture Oscar. Just further demonstrated to me that I'm quite obviously out of my mind, as others see things that I just cannot see. (I've since seen the whole thing, by force at a friends house. It never got any better.)
The last 3 Star Wars movies were fairly god awful as well. I really doubt that I need to explain why.
Films previously mentioned that I also hate:
Independence Day
Dune
300
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
District 9
I know Rocky Horror is super popular, but I thought I had died and gone to hell sitting in that theater. Friends warned me that it was crazy and that people would yell stuff and throw stuff at the screen, but I never expected that it could be that ridiculous. I hated the way it looked, the characters, the dialogue, the music, and the audience participation. No redeeming qualities to me at all.
I had high hopes for District 9, as it looked right up my alley. After shaking my head and sighing for about 45 minutes, I got the hell out. I just about shit myself when I saw it was up for the best picture Oscar. Just further demonstrated to me that I'm quite obviously out of my mind, as others see things that I just cannot see. (I've since seen the whole thing, by force at a friends house. It never got any better.)
The last 3 Star Wars movies were fairly god awful as well. I really doubt that I need to explain why.
Films previously mentioned that I also hate:
Independence Day
Dune
300
Last edited:
I for one really enjoyed that film.
JLo wasn't in The Cell to act. JLo was in The Cell so they could squeeze a red catsuit around her ass.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: I never got past the first movie because it was dull, and talky, and just utterly non-entertaining.
x2 I hate E.T.
I can no longer stand to watch any of Brosnan's Bond movies.
I don't hate them, I just find myself uninterested and change the channel.
I don't hate them, I just find myself uninterested and change the channel.
Hell is being trapped on a bus with a bunch of high school girls watching Newsies.
I couldn't stand Spider-Man 2. It's just an endless, non-productive angst-fest. Every complaint that people had about Spider-Man 3 I already had about Spider-Man 2.
Avatar is so-so. It's an amazing, immersive visual experience. The story, while preachy, isn't nearly as bad as everyone says it is. But the script is terrible--I'm talking George Lucas bad--which is all the more unforgivable considering he had been working on this script for 15 years. Plus, while I liked Avatar's 3D effects, I'm annoyed that this fad is multiplying.
I have a friend who I thoroughly respect for her intelligence & wisdom. She's too smart to like Twilight but she does. There is NOTHING redeemable about that movie. The dialogue is shite. Bella seems deliberately designed to have no personality. Kristen Stewart barely even blinks throughout the whole film. And as if to compensate for her total lack of acting, Robert Pattinson crams more overacting into each frame than most actors manage in their entire careers. Contorting his face into expressions no human being would ever make, he doesn't look angsty or tortured. He just looks like his colored contacts are bothering him. I'm sorely tempted to build a hot tub time machine just so I can go back in time and kill Stephanie Meyer before she was born.
Frank Miller is a misogynistic moron. Why anyone enjoyed 300 or Sin City is totally beyond me. Even as a Robert Rodriguez fan, I found Sin City to be joyless & unwatchable.
Only once have I ever walked out of a movie: The Ringer (the one where Johnny Knoxville pretends to be retarded so he can win the Special Olympics). I walked out after 8 minutes, about the time when the amiable foreigner had his fingers chopped off in a lawn mower accident.
Had I not been there with other people, I would have walked out of Heartbreakers & Superbad. Heartbreakers just becomes totally boring & pointless after Gene Hackman dies. I couldn't stand Superbad because I can't stand Jonah Hill. Doesn't he remind anyone else of one of the kids from The Garbage Pail Kids Movie?
I couldn't stand Spider-Man 2. It's just an endless, non-productive angst-fest. Every complaint that people had about Spider-Man 3 I already had about Spider-Man 2.
Avatar is so-so. It's an amazing, immersive visual experience. The story, while preachy, isn't nearly as bad as everyone says it is. But the script is terrible--I'm talking George Lucas bad--which is all the more unforgivable considering he had been working on this script for 15 years. Plus, while I liked Avatar's 3D effects, I'm annoyed that this fad is multiplying.
I have a friend who I thoroughly respect for her intelligence & wisdom. She's too smart to like Twilight but she does. There is NOTHING redeemable about that movie. The dialogue is shite. Bella seems deliberately designed to have no personality. Kristen Stewart barely even blinks throughout the whole film. And as if to compensate for her total lack of acting, Robert Pattinson crams more overacting into each frame than most actors manage in their entire careers. Contorting his face into expressions no human being would ever make, he doesn't look angsty or tortured. He just looks like his colored contacts are bothering him. I'm sorely tempted to build a hot tub time machine just so I can go back in time and kill Stephanie Meyer before she was born.
Frank Miller is a misogynistic moron. Why anyone enjoyed 300 or Sin City is totally beyond me. Even as a Robert Rodriguez fan, I found Sin City to be joyless & unwatchable.
Only once have I ever walked out of a movie: The Ringer (the one where Johnny Knoxville pretends to be retarded so he can win the Special Olympics). I walked out after 8 minutes, about the time when the amiable foreigner had his fingers chopped off in a lawn mower accident.
Had I not been there with other people, I would have walked out of Heartbreakers & Superbad. Heartbreakers just becomes totally boring & pointless after Gene Hackman dies. I couldn't stand Superbad because I can't stand Jonah Hill. Doesn't he remind anyone else of one of the kids from The Garbage Pail Kids Movie?
"V For Vendetta" is a masterpiece and I'm ready to argue about it for the next day, the next year or the next 500 years
You and I are of a kind.
I've had passionate debates with people online and in person about "The Thing" (1982). I just don't get what the fuss is all about. People tell me about how it's some science fiction masterpiece with powerful ideas and insights about paranoia and an incredible atmosphere, but all I see is a shallow monster movie with forgettable nothing characters.
The only things I liked about it were how delightfully over-the-top and creative the special effects on the creature were in their grotesqueness and one line, "You've got to be fucking kidding me!". That line and all the scenes where the creature goes through brilliantly sick and gross transformations are awesome, but they alone are not enough to make this a great movie.
I also think "Blade Runner" is all surface, no substance. People say the whole replicants and humans relationship has some deep statement to make about human nature, but I just don't see it. All I see is Harrison Ford running around trying to solve some mystery I can't be brought to give two shits about and an original futuristic world that's more neat to look at than anything that happens in it is to think about.
The special effects and new world created in his movie are amazing triumphs, but the story and characters are worthless. Rutger Hauer has some effective moments and Daryl Hannah's make-up is cool, but the movie just feels hollow to me overall.
"Apocalypse Now" and "The Conversation" are too slow, boring as shit, and ultimately pointless. They make me think Francis Ford Coppola is a hack with only a few lucky breaks. Other than "The Godfather" movies and "Peggy Sue Got Married", I haven't enjoyed any of his work.
"Brazil" sucks and is not as deep as people think. "Twelve Monkeys" is the far superior Terry Gilliam movie...it has all the depth and clarity of storytelling and characterization that overrated mess lacks. "The Third Man" is also painfully boring, except for the Orson Welles scenes. "Slacker" was torture to watch, and the worst movie watching experience of my life. The fact that it has fans and a Criterion Collection release
sickens me.I found most of the Star Wars movies forgettable and empty experiences, except for "Revenge of the Sith", which was unforgettably bad for having some of the worst acting (except Ewan McGregor, and Ian Mcdiarmid when he's not in stupid make-up), writing, and special effects I've ever seen in a big budget 'blockbuster' movie.
Similar threads
