Ensign Lynch'd

[Withers]

I work at a little publishing house where the atmosphere is very lax most of the time. I imagine it isn't much different than working in a library except that there are more people here and there might actually be less urgency involved though there's certainly no lack of the "we're saving civilization" vibe.

Our boss (the one guy we all kind of work for in one way or another) is a 78 year old man who is a remnant of a time when supposedly people read and the notion of science fiction was best described by Jules Verne. Needless to say he's sort of crabby and bitter about the state of the written word (i.e. the imminent death of print media.)

So, today he comes in complaining and ranting, giving us all an unreasonable workload and demanding it all be done in an unreasonable amount of time. He went on in the bullpen lecturing us about taking our jobs more seriously, for fifteen minutes and concluded his rant with "And I want it all done by the end of business today!"

It just so happens that First Contact was on television last night and the other Trekkies in the office so happened to catch it too. Well, Marc, the 50 year old I'm going to be in a few decades pipped up at the end of our bosses tirade with the quote

"Or what?! You'll kill me!? Like you killed Ensign Lynch!?!?!"

The office burst into hysterical laughter. Even people I doubt have ever seen First Contact were doubled over laughing. So all day long any request was met with that quote. I even heard people saying it over the phone (which must have seriously confused whoever was on the other end.) "Ensign Lynch'd" is now a sort of verb here.

All in all it was a good day. So, out of curiosity for more potentially humorous stories, have any Star Trek quotes ever worked themselves into your daily lives?

-Withers-​

 

[kes7]

I don't know Marc, but I like him.

ETA: To answer your question, yes, Star Trek quotes are huge at kes7's house, especially when dealing with the kids. We mostly rip off the Borg (and a few ex-Borg): "Resistance is futile. You must comply. Fun will now commence. Snacks are irrelevant." (Our kids are Trek fans, too, so this works pretty well for them.)

 

[M-Red]

"Only Nixon could go to China." -political science class

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

One that I got to say at work once...we had one other big Trekkie at the store I worked at, and as one of the managers I happened to be responsible for handing out the pay stubs. So I went up to him and said, "Please accept this gift from the Founders. May it make you strong."

He LOVED that.

 

[The Wormhole]

One time I had to mop a floor, so I said "Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a janitor."

It was met with laughter by the guy I told it to, despite the fact that his name was not Jim and I'm not actually a doctor.

 

[RyuRoots]

I started playing an online RPG with a few friends of mine recently, and one of the lobby functions is to be able to summon a chair that you can float about the room in. However, no one I know was aware of just how to do so. So during a session, one of them goes to find some information, and I pester him to figure out the chair thing. When he came back, I asked him if he'd figured it out and he said no, but explained to me he had found the other thing he was looking for.

So I exclaimed, channeling my inner Ferengi, "Then who gets the chairs?!"

I got a good laugh out of it, though I try to make ST quote jokes whenever possible.

 

[NickInABox]

"I'm a student, not a racehorse."
"I'm a student, not a photocopier."
"I'm a broadcaster, not a custodian."
"I'm a writer, not a referee."

Just a few of the things that I've let slip out of my mouth lately.

 

[KottenFutz]

I once had a computer issue, my co-worker said "what's wrong?"
I said in my best Spock: "...V'Ger is a child"


(also: Jules Verne rocks !!!)

 

[plynch]

"Only Nixon could go to China." -political science class

That's a real phrase people used since Nixon was so anti-Commie in the HUAC age. Spock was quoting us earthers.

Maybe you knew that -- just makin' the point that it was a "real" line before a "reel" one.

- Captain pLynch

EDIT - I just remembered -- happened 20 minutes ago. I teach high school and have three remotes and a projector that "toggles" back and forth from my VCR to my computer. When my brain is confused by 25 teens and three remotes, I find the remote to my projector and look for the input button marked "computer." I say "computer" in a Scots accent and sometimes hold the remote up to my mouth and go, "Heloo, computer." They have NO idea.

 

[The Trekster]

Once spent a road trip where only the driver could control the windows and we were all smokers.

Needless to say there was a lot of "Computer. Window down" going on.

This road trip was also started by playing "Magic Carpet Ride"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

WITHERS: Great story!! And like KES, I like your co-worker Marc!

We do a lot of Star Trek quoting in this house. Recently i said wished i had a Krenim ship to fast forward into next week. And we use "You speak in METAPHOR!" a lot when one person doesn't understand what the other is trying to say. And i beg to be beamed outta here (LI) a lot.....

 

[Gagarin]

"The ship, out of danger?" just comes up randomly.

 

[Yug]

Speaking of that, I talk with a friend on Facebook about Lost episodes in Darmok talk, nerdy as all get out!

For instance:
Ricardo in chains on the ocean, his eyes closed.
Jacob on the island, his bottle corked.
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky.
Richard on the island, his eyes open.

(that middle bit, of course, is lifted from
the great story tellers Deep Purple)

 

[sbk1234]

I'll get pissed and yell, "Not good enough, dammit! Not good enough!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

-"Damnit, Jim!, etc."
-I used a slightly re-worded We Are The Borg speech to describe how I feel about political parties in one of my classes.
-Once I was out driving w/ some ppl and a guy in the backseat was all like "You know, there's an easier route you could take to get there." and I, in my best Shatner was all like "DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY, MISTER!"

 

[Lindley]

My favorite is actually from Star Wars....when someone promises they'll get something done, I turn and say,

"I hope so, Commander, for your sake."

 

[Nerys Myk]

I've used "Keep your shirt on Lieutenant" (in the appropriate accent) and I 've told my boss we should "run a level three diagnostic" when there were computer problems. Also "how quaint" when dealing with old technology.

I really want to say "This how I define unwarrented!" but the set up never comes.

 

[Therin of Andor]

I was in an almost-empty hotel ballroom, preparing to host a Star Trek costume parade, and John de Lancie himself was literally up a ladder, setting spotlights over the stool where his wife, Marnie, would be singing.

Suddenly, Mr de Lancie demanded of me, in his very best "Q" voice, "How many lights do you see?"

I suddenly got a cold chill, and imagined myself in Picard's situation, being tortured by that Cardassian. I was totally flummoxed and answered, feebly, "How many lights do you want me to see?"

Which wasn't quite what Mr de Lancie was expecting.

 

[B.J.]

^ I hope he got a laugh out of that!

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

AWESOME! Did he get the reference? What did he say??