TOS Caption Contest #169: Wabbit Season

[Rat Boy]

All right, sit back down, folks, because it's time for another caption contest. First, as always, let's try to reason with...

For not believing in coincidences, our winner is...

Kirk: "It's a puppet."

McCoy: "Oh please. A puppet? Running this ship? That's about as likely as a
midget popping out and offering us a glass of some sort of fruity drink."


.

And for something that'll blow Captain Kirk's mind, our winner is...

Cloud William: "Death by snu snu will now commence."
Kirk: "Spock, a little help here..."
Spock: "I am setting up the video equipment as fast as I can, Captain."

And since the Photoshops of the third picture got more play than the actual picture, I decided to honor a caption of the one I did back in the day where our winner scrutinizes the background a bit more closely than I did...

"Fascinating: If I read this D.C. Metro map accurately, I predict a 85.52 percent probability that we will have to singletrack through the Dupont Circle station on our way to the Cherry Blossom Festival."

Okay, so it's local D.C. humor.

Full map is here:
http://www.wmata.com/rail/maps/map.cfm

And speaking of Photoshops, our winner this week, as he often does, did a little cross-pollination with the Trek XI Contest...

'
JIMMY: My name is James Tiberius Kirk. I'll be your driver and guide
on this tour of Iowa's Famous Rock Quarries.

MCCOY: Aren't you a little young to be driving?

JIMMY: Yes, yes I am.

Congrats to our winners. This week, as befitting at least one of the holy weeks going on, we're starting off with a rabbit, followed by Kirk and Spock arguing over what season it is, and finishing it off Kirk training the next generation of Elmer Fudds. Would you like to caption now or wait until you get home?

 

[Rat Boy]

Rabbit: "I'm late!"

McCoy: "For an important date, yeah I get it."

Rabbit: "No, I mean I'm pregnant!"

Kirk: "Well I'll be, we're in New York."

Spock: "Looks more like Burbank to me."

Kirk: "See, all you do is fire once, take ten minutes to reload, and pray like hell you don't get shot in the process. Got it?"

 

[Kagan]

Rabbit: The 5:15 train is late again...whatever will I do?
Sulu (in shrubbery): Oh my!!!

Kirk: Spock, we've found ourselves in the early 20th century needing two find two pugilists. What do propose that we do?
Spock: Using the bearings acquired by Lt Uhura, factoring in the phase of the moon, and adjusting for...
Kirk: I believe we can find what we need at Madison Square Gardens with a pair of boxers named Cook and Mason.

Tyree: Kirk, what are the possibilities of this firearm.
Kirk: Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Then, one day he was shooting at some food when up from the ground came a bundle of crude...oil that is...black gold...Texas tea!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DRACO MALFOY: Potter will pay for this indignity. If wanted to wear silly costumes and listen to a longwinded, pompous jerk I could have stayed at Hogwarts

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Rabbit: "Get away from me, you dumbass! I'm not a real rabbit! I'm a furry! What...did you think you were the only one who gets to have his fantasy come true down here?"

Kirk: "Just think, Spock...Old Earth, before any contact with other planets! Millions of gorgeous women, not one of whom has ever experienced the 'Rigilian Swirl' or the 'Andorian Butt-Bounce'! We've hit the jackpot, buddy!"

Yutan (whispering to Tyree): "Yes, I, too, detect the scent of Kahn-ut-tu on your friend. And if you feel he should have an 'accident' out here, I'll back up your story!"

 

[jep]

Offscreen: "Play some Hendrix!!!!"

Kirk: "I believe I heard someone request 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds' back there!"

Tyree, under breath: "Oh God, not again..."


.

 

[jep]

McCoy: "I may be mistaken, but I believe that's a pubic hare!"


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "We must work quickly Captain. We do not know when Dr. McCoy will arrive."

Kirk: "Yeah, yeah... but first I want to do the nasty with a future movie star.


.

 

[jep]

Nimoy: "Oh for the love of.... can't we get some believable costumes?"

Shatner: "Says the man with the plastic points."


.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Wabbit: "Well now I have one of their fancy rayguns, now bring on Elmer Fudd"

 

[Noname Given]

Dr. McCoy: "See the rabbit? It's dead Jim, and you KNOW what that means..."

 

[jep]

Dr. McCoy's lost phaser claims yet another victim.


.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy (off camera): "MURDERERS! ASSASSINS!"

Kirk: "Is that Bones? Running around naked?"

Spock: "Indeed it is."

Kirk: "Well, he doesn't have to be rescued right now, does he?"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I think we're going to enjoy Earth of the 20th century."

Spock: "(Sigh) You seem to enjoy any planet that has women on it, Captain."

Kirk: "And your point is???


.

 

[jep]

Dr. McCoy: "See the rabbit? It's dead Jim, and you KNOW what that means..."

Kirk: "Fried rabbit for dinner?"


.

 

[M'Sharak]

McCoy: "I may be mistaken, but I believe that's a pubic hare!"

Wabbit: In about six years, I'm gonna get ya fer that, Doc. Just sayin'.

 

[Maurice]

WABBIT: Nyaa, what's up, Doc?
BONES: Pregnancy tests.
WABBIT: Welllllllll...goodbye! And don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven; cause it hasn't!

KIRK: Isn't that boxing ad the same one seen in the hallway every flipping week on Barney Miller?

KIRK: Your women? Er, the guy with the pointy ears over there shagged them. Really! "He has no heart!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Ha, you're betting on Mason?

SPOCK: Exnay on the uturefay.

KIRK: I'm sure San Bernadino is this way.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "No, no, no! This is your rifle, this is your gun; this is for fighting, this is for fun. Got it?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Rabbit: "I could have been a contenda, I could have been somebody, I could have been in Donnie Darko..."

Spock: "The early twentieth century is not the logical place to be overwhelmed by the sound of how awesome you are, Captain."
Kirk: "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Kirk: "Tyree, didn't I tell you to squeeze? Hm? Just like when you're milking a mugato, Tyree."
Tyree: "It's that I get excited!"
Kirk: "Well don't get excited! Now this time squeeze. Slowly, but squeeze. All right now, squeeze."
[Tyree shoots]
Kirk: "Squeeze! I'll tell you what. Don't shoot the gun. Take the gun like this, and you use it like a club, all right?"