Well... I think when someone enters your space and starts blowing up your outposts, they probably aren't interested in your general well-being.
Yes, clearly the Praetor who was in power in 2266 (either Vrax, established in
Summon the Thunder, or the Caligula-esque Praetor of John Byrne's comics) was interested in aggression against the Federation. The dialogue in "Balance of Terror" told us that much. But assuming that has any bearing whatsoever on the agenda of the Romulan Star Empire ruled by Tal'Aura in 2381 and after makes about as much sense as assuming that the current prime minister of Japan plans to invade China just because the Meiji Emperor did so in 1895. We're talking about totally different regimes, totally different eras. There have been at least half a dozen intervening Romulan Praetors and governments in the interim between "Balance of Terror" and
The Typhon Pact, most of them coming to power by violently overthrowing their predecessors. So it makes absolutely no sense to treat the Romulan government of the 2260s as the same entity as the Romulan government of the 2380s -- especially when the political body called the Romulan Star Empire as of the 2380s is only a portion of the state of that name that existed prior to 2380.
And we've seen canonically that the Romulan Star Empire has gone through multiple different foreign policies over that interval as well. The expansionism of the 2260s gave way to an extended period of isolationism by 2311, then a renewed period of aggression starting in 2364, then alliance with the Federation and Klingons in the last year or two of the Dominion War, then a period of detente with the Federation until Shinzon's brutal coup in 2379 killed off most of the sitting Romulan government. And the books thereafter have shown the Romulans in chaos and civil war in the wake of that event, leading eventually to the schism of the whole empire between Tal'Aura's remnant RSE and Donatra's Imperial Romulan State, both of which have equally legitimate (or illegitimate) claims to being the "true" Romulan government.
So to assume any simplistic continuity of policy over that whole span of time, when the evidence overwhelmingly shows otherwise, just doesn't make any sense.
