vfwcc #31: Say What?

[Alrik]

And the winner IS...........

The Hurt Locker!......Oops wrong contest.

Well Tri seems to still be in up to his neck with Real World matters, so lets keep this show moving.

vfwcc #30's winners are.......

For pointing out the obvious.

Janeway: Prognosis Doctor?

Doctor: I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do, she's Chakotay's love interest.

Showing us that the automobile isn't just for transportation.

Harry: "You expect to get lucky in this with B'Elanna"

Tom: "All ready did."

Harry: "Ah that explains those foot prints"

For giving new meaning to a 'strong' cup of coffee and making Randi spit hers.

JANEWAY: Do I detect a hint of Rohypnol?

For variations on a theme. Welcome to the game Mikkid82.

Doctor: "Well, let me just consult the magic 8 Ball, Mr. Kim. Will Harry still be an ensign seven years from now..."

I have your lieutenant pips right here. But you have to wait seven years, ENSIGN!!!

And taking johnnyracefan's shout out and having it seconded....

Reg: "What can I say? It's the only pussy I can get outside of the Holodeck."

Nicely played all.

Now on to the new contest.

 

[Alrik]

Doctor: "Yes, that was me. I adjusted my program. I can now break wind with the best of 'em."

Beltran: "Well I was watching 'Friends' last night and saw Joey do it, so I thought I'd give it a try. He called it the 'Smell The Fart' method."

Tom: "Nice program Harry. All it needs is a couple of hookers and a bottle of Jack and I'd call it a party."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kes: "So Doctor, have you fine tuned the transporter?"
EMH: "Not a problem Kes, we should have Tuvix back for you before you can blink."
Kes dreamily: "Neelix, but bifurcated."
Tuvok: "Standing right here!"

Tuvok: "The commander appears to be asleep."
B'Elanna: "Lipstick?"
Tuvok: "Fake moustache..."
B'Elanna: "Fuck with his tattoo."
B'Elanna & Tuvok together: "Hand in warm water..."

Tom: "There's a 'standing right behind me' gag topped off with a 'pool cue up my backside' punchline coming, isn't there?"
Harry: "You have no idea..."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

KES: Oh good! You're both here! Neelix will be back in a moment and then we can call it a party!

 

[Alrik]

Chakotay: "And once you've realigned the phase coils I want you to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

B'Elanna: "Again?! The Commander really needs to do something about that narolepsy."

Harry: "One more crack about being the 'eternal ensign' and I make you look like a popsicle."

 

[Mistral]

Doctor: "Oh, you'll love it. It's an old Earth custom called a gangbang!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORRES: How long has it been?

TUVOK: 4.2 hours.

TORRES: I'll inform Sickbay.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Doctor: "Nice to meet you, Kes! As I understand it, you're actually only eight years old, is that correct? You know, one of the doctors whose input contributed to my own composite personality, Dr. Slezak, would have found that very interesting!"

Chakotay: "I summoned you both here because apparently you're unaware that the computer records all activity on the holodeck."

Paris: "Nice holo-simulation, Harry! The Captain looks good in Daisy Dukes! But can she shoot pool?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Approximately two hours after Tom and Harry decided to switch from synthehol to "the real stuff":

Paris: "Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to intrude but...you're a Gorn, aren't you? Yes, I thought so. Well, my friend here just bet me 4,000 quatloos that I couldn't ram this pool cue up your ass."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Tuvok: (looks at Chakotay then bangs furiously on padd) I do not understand it! I know it worked in "Spock's Brain".

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Thanks for the win...

Doctor: "Yes, that was me. I adjusted my program. I can now break wind with the best of 'em."

Damit you beat me to it

Mine would have been,
Doctor: "Yes that was me, but mine will never stink"
Tu'Vok: "I beg to differ Doctor"
Kes: "Oh My...."Gags,Pukes and passes out

 

[Rat Boy]

Kes: "What's so funny?"

Doctor: "Nothing."

Tuvok (whispering): "You didn't tell her that she's being replaced by another blonde?"

Doctor (whispering): "More fun this way."

Bad enough the technobabble put the audience to sleep, but it was worse when it knocked the actors out cold.

Paris: "Uh, sure. Harry's is indeed as long as his pool cue."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok: Thought Police: "Doctor, it appears you are having an impure thought..."

 

[Mistral]

Paris: "What? Oh, uh, I really think you should ask Harry, Kes. He seems to be better prepared for a gangbang than I am. After all, he brought his pool cue..."

 

[John Picard]

The Doctor: "Tuvok drew the short staw; therefore, he gets sloppy seconds *giggle*"
Tuvok: "Perhaps an impotence subroutine could be headed your way, Doctor."

 

[Smellincoffee]

When Kes expressed curiosity about the pon farr ritual, the Doctor was more than happy to take a direct hand in her education. "Haaaaaaaaaaave you met Tuvok?"

While Torres was used to Chakotay's attempts to "channel" the spirits, Tuvok's own skepticism left him speechless and as uncomfortable as a Vulcan can be.

 

[Akiraprise]

Anybody want to post a new caption thread? This one's been up for awhile.