Suicide Prevention

[Yeoman Randi]

I'll be honest with you. This situation with Andrew Keonig missing has really hit home with me and has me very upset. If everyone could please go to Walter's site, there is some very important information posted there.

http://www.walterkoenigsite.com/

There is updated information on the search for Andrew, but also very good suicide prevention information. I'm going to cut and paste it here even though it is available on the site. It's just my way of feeling helpful to anyone who may ever feel this depressed.

From the site:

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE:

*Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself

* Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means

* Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

* Feeling hopeless

* Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge

* Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking

* Feeling trapped - like there's no way out

* Increasing alcohol or drug use

* Withdrawing from friends, family, and society

* Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time

* Experiencing dramatic mood changes

* Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

RED FLAG WARNING SIGNS-

* A previously depressed person who is suddenly happy. This often means they've come to a decision to end their life.

* Actions that signal they are planning for death:

* Giving away their possessions, particularly favorite things or things with sentimental value.

* Making out wills.

* Arranging for the care of pets.

* Extravagant spending or paying off debts.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK A PERSON IS HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

* Ask the person directly if he or she

(1) is having suicidal thoughts/ideas

(2) has a plan to do so, and

(3) has access to lethal means: This won’t increase the person’s suicidal thoughts. It will give you information that indicates how strongly the person has thought about killing him- or herself.


* Take seriously all suicide threats and all suicide attempts. A past history of suicide attempts is one of the strongest risk factors for death by suicide.


* There is no evidence that “nosuicide contracts” prevent suicide. In fact, they may give counselors a false sense of reassurance.


* Listen and look for red flags for suicidal behavior, indicated by the mnemonic:


IS PATH WARM?
Ideation—Threatened or communicated

Substance abuse—Excessive or increased

Purposeless—No reasons for living

Anxiety—Agitation/Insomnia

Trapped—Feeling there is no way out

Hopelessness


Withdrawing—From friends, family, society

Anger (uncontrolled)—Rage, seeking revenge

Recklessness—Risky acts, unthinking

Mood changes (dramatic)

HOW TO BE HELPFUL FOR SOMEONE WHO IS TALKING ABOUT OR THREATENING SUICIDE

* If you think a person might harm him or herself, don't leave them alone.

* Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.

* Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.

* Be non-judgmental. Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don't lecture on the value of life.

* Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.

* Don't dare him or her to do it.

* Don't act shocked. This will put distance between you.

* Don't be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.

* Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.

* Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.

* Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.

* Tell them you're going to get them some help. Give him or her a helpful resource – Send 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Tell him/her they are available 24/7 for anyone in suicidal crisis in the United States

* Take his/her words seriously and respond with compassion

* Encourage him/her to reach out for help to a friend, family member, counselor, clergy and other community members

* If the person online is saying he/she is going to kill him or herself at that moment or is in the process of attempting suicide, please try to find his/her location and call the local police or 911.

I saw the video of Walter and no parent or loved one should ever have to experience this. Sending positive thoughts to Walter and his family, but most of all to Andrew. I hope he comes home soon.

 

[KimMH]

Thank you for the link - it's wrenching. I cannot begin to understand how they must be feeling. The points outlined above may prove invaluable to someone!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Yes, thank you Yeoman Randi. It's really great to see people handle the issue of suicidal tendencies or suicidal feelings without judgement and simply with care and concern. You're always so thoughtful.

 

[TheBrew]

I am honestly probably in a low grade state of suicidal. Most of those criteria fit me at some point during the week.

I will probably seek counseling about it soon, because overall I am pretty happy and I am getting some weird mixed signals from my brain.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I am honestly probably in a low grade state of suicidal. Most of those criteria fit me at some point during the week.

I will probably seek counseling about it soon, because overall I am pretty happy and I am getting some weird mixed signals from my brain.

I would certainly advise it, my friend. It's always best to have some help or support in place. YR was right to post this.

 

[TheBrew]

I am honestly probably in a low grade state of suicidal. Most of those criteria fit me at some point during the week.

I will probably seek counseling about it soon, because overall I am pretty happy and I am getting some weird mixed signals from my brain.

I would certainly advise it, my friend. It's always best to have some help or support in place. YR was right to post this.

I was planning on it anyways. I am pretty emotionally self-aware, so I can easily recognize these feelings and not doing anything rash.

I do have a great support system in place though with great family and friends (both in real life and on this board).

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

I live with what I guess you could call a suicidal ideation for the past 25 years. I became depressed as a teenager and I never really dealt with it properly so it developed into what is called dysthymia. That's where you are just always kind of unhappy. I never really tried to commit suicide. I have always been too much of a coward to do it. I know that phrase upsets a lot of people who thing suicide is cowardly. I think it is kind of an ironic situation. I am not a bold, decisive person and that makes me want to kill myself. But I can't kill myself because that is only something a bold and decisive person would do. Unfortunately I am also saddled with a girlfriend who told me she didn't think she would ever get over it if I committed suicide(sarcasm).

The metaphor I have come up with it is that I feel like a factory flaw. That no matter how you try and fix it there is just a fundamental flaw in the design and it will never work properly so there is nothing left to do but recall it. I just don't feel like I do this thing called living very well.

I do okay with it though. The last few years has been hard because my unemployment has really amplified the notion that I have completely failed with my life. I am studying to be a pharmacy technician though in the hopes that I will finally have a regular career to always operate from and give me some stability while I try and move forward with other things in my life. With my girlfriend at my side, at age 40 I might actually be able to start building a life I enjoy. Maybe it is not the life I always dreamed of, but learning to accept real reality over unreal dreams is something else I have realized is healthier.

I am always the first person to counsel people not to commit suicide though. There are a million things to do with your life and a million treatments to try for depression so I always tell people why not wait until you have tried every single one of them before deciding to kill yourself. You'll probably get through a small percentage of them before you die of natural causes anyway. If anybody here is feeling like suicide you have a lot of friends who have gone through similar things so don't be afraid to speak up and get some help.

 

[opali]

TheBrew and DarkJourney,

Keep on keepin' on; you are two great people! I am so glad you have a support system; it can make all the difference. Going through what I have personally I know for a fact that surrounding myself with people who honestly cared about me strengthened me every day during darker times. They can't bear your load entirely, but they can divide some of its weight.

Thanks for posting your more personal thoughts and sharing with all of us. You never know who you might encourage.

 

[Kestra]

I think a lot of people are intimidated by depression. They may notice signs of depression in a friend, but do not know how to broach the subject, or if they can even do anything to help. And no one wants to have the burden of carrying the knowledge and being unable to help.

I don't go around blabbing about my struggles with anyone and everyone I meet, but I do speak quite frankly about it when it comes up. We shouldn't be uncomfortable talking about some of these issues, we shouldn't feel like we need to hide them or just hope that they'll go away. I have had people come to me for advice over the years because they have heard me mention my own experiences and know I won't immediately freak out if they talk about depression or suicide.

It's really something that a medical professional needs to treat, but I think for many, the first step is just saying the words out loud to a friend. I know when I was at my worst, I did everything I could to hide how I felt, but there was part of me that desperately wished someone would notice and help me. Sometimes we need someone else to vocalize what we're too afraid to say. We need someone else to support us in taking that step to get help.

The things listed in the beginning of this thread are spot-on and this type of knowledge could save lives. Being a supportive, non-judgmental person can also save lives. Above all, people need reminders that depression is an illness and not simply a bad mood or a personality flaw, and that it can be treated.

Suicide is often a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Suicide is often a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem.

But often depression gives the illusion that it isn't so temporary. For some people who suffer, it appears like things will never get better and they are helpless to fix it. It weighs you down to the point where you want to give up.

And I will be honest... I have been there before and I will probably be there again. But I could never kill myself. I actually like myself a little to much to end things. I guess that makes me a bit of a narcissist. Whatever the reason, in the end I know I want to experience a few more things before I kick the bucket. I actually want to see what is going to happen next in my life, good or bad. I also have a good physician that doesn't let me bull shit either. When I get depressed, I have a prescription to get the old brain chemistry back on track.

Has anyone else noticed that there have been a lot of suicides lately? Not just celebrities but everyday folks as well? Are things so bleak in the world right now that some of us can't hang on?

(And this is a little off subject and a little far-fetched... I have been wondering if the sun being in a low phase at the moment could have an effect on us neurologically. Changes in gravity has been shown to effect people's moods but I wonder if subtle changes in our own star could alter them as well. Hmmmm...)

 

[Crusher Disciple]

(And this is a little off subject and a little far-fetched... I have been wondering if the sun being in a low phase at the moment could have an effect on us neurologically. Changes in gravity has been shown to effect people's moods but I wonder if subtle changes in our own star could alter them as well. Hmmmm...)

I think it's the economy being so bad for so long that it's spreading to more aspects of people's lives. I had no idea that Alexander Mc Queen had committed suicide until today.

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

That's awful. Until this started going on, I had no idea that the guy who played Boner was WK's son.

 

[TheBrew]

TheBrew and DarkJourney,

Keep on keepin' on; you are two great people! I am so glad you have a support system; it can make all the difference. Going through what I have personally I know for a fact that surrounding myself with people who honestly cared about me strengthened me every day during darker times. They can't bear your load entirely, but they can divide some of its weight.

Thanks for posting your more personal thoughts and sharing with all of us. You never know who you might encourage.

Thanks! I'll get a more personal if it helps anyone out. A few years ago I was really depressed all the time: I was barely scrapping by, some how making my rent every month with having no job, and going nowhere. I really isolated myself from my family and friends. A few things kept me going:

1) I was going to see Revenge of the Sith, no matter what. Totally worth the wait, btw.

2) I decided to give a hearty "Fuck you" to the world, pull myself together and dig myself out.

At my core, I never like to give up, even when everything seems hopeless. Suicide might seem attractive for the "easy" out it provides, but it is a weak move.

It also helps to see if you can figure out why you are depressed. About 6 years ago, I had brain surgery to remove a tumor and then got a staph infection a month later. Before my surgery, I had to face the reality that I might not wake up. It is a really life-changing experience, but what really got to me was that life seemed a bit pointless after my surgery. I wasn't passionate about much and it all seemed to end the same way no matter what I did: in death. So part of me digging myself out was rediscovering how to live life, a process that is ongoing for me. I am both the same person and also a completely different from the person I was when I was at my lowest. I've been setting goals for myself and meeting them, both personally and professionally. I've gained a reputation as a trust worthy friend and worker. I've been on more dates in the past year than the previous years combined. I'm putting myself out there more and more and not secluding myself.

So to sum up: figure out why you are depressed either professionally or on your own and set goals to fix the situation.