Crazy Busy Life Moral Support Needed

[Spot's Meow]

I apologize in advance for the long life story post.

I'm naturally a stressed type of person, I worry about a lot of things, I can be very tense and I can't really clear my mind or relax very well. My mom will tell you that I was a scared stressed out little child. However, I have gotten better about this as I have gotten older. I'm only 24 but I think I've come a long way. I say this to give you an idea of where I'm coming from.

So I am now entering what is sure to be the busiest, most stressful year of my life, and I think I need a little moral support from you guys. I am in the last semester of getting my Master's degree. I would have liked to have only one class this semester, or to just work on my thesis, and trust me I tried to plan it that way before I was even admitted to the program, but unfortunately due to budget cuts the classes I need are only offered once every two years or so. So basically I am stuck with taking two difficult courses plus an internship plus working on my thesis in this last semester.

Now, the internship is not so bad because I get paid for it and it is almost a full time job that has helped to support me. I spend another ten hours a week at my second job, working basically as an office assistant, so not stressful stuff. And I love my internship, it's awesome. It is in the field I want to go into and I am excited to show up there each day.

One of the classes, History and Theory, was described by the professor as "the hardest class you will ever take in graduate school." I believe him. It will be especially hard for me because I am not at all into theory. It is absolutely torturous for me. The one class in college that I was terrible at and just could not "get" was Intro to Philosophy. Every time I sit in this class I have flashbacks to that one. I am a very practical person, my mind does not work in that way. And it just feels so very useless since it has little to do with the kind of job I would have. It is three weeks into the semester and I already hate this class with a passion. Sadly it is a requirement of the program.

The other class is a regular history reading seminar and it's not that bad, in fact it is kind of fun, but it does require the reading each week.

My thesis...it is a project rather than a research paper. I have all the sources I need, I've already written the introduction, and I basically have three months to finish the rest. I know I can do it but I just hope I can get through the project on time. Luckily the project is what I am doing every day at my internship, so in a way I am getting paid to work on my thesis.

I know I can do all of this. I am very motivated, I graduated college in four years and did a mini thesis there while taking four other classes. I am a hard worker, I have confidence that I can do these things. That doesn't mean I don't feel the pressure though.

And the constant stress about finding a job after I graduate. My internship doesn't end until August, but I basically have to get a job immediately after that since I don't earn enough to save up for several months worth of rent. I have basically nothing left over at the end of the month after rent and bills. It is working fine for me now, but I am so stressed about what will happen in August. There are no jobs in the town I am currently living in in my field....I will have to work in the Bay Area probably, which I don't mind at all, but it means moving. And my lease here is up in July. Where would I be living? I have no idea.

I also have a professional conference to attend in a couple of months and I have to apply for a scholarship for that. If I don't get it I am basically screwed unless someone is willing to fly me out of the state and pay for my hotel.

It's the stress of not knowing where I will be and what I will be doing a year from now that really gets to me. How am I going to finish all of this stuff in three months? Will it even feel worth it if I can't find a job anywhere? I know I can do it all, I just want it to be over. I know I will be okay soon, but I don't want to go through all the stressful stuff in between now and then.

I have had a couple of people around me tell me that I am crazy and I won't be able to finish on time. I can't wait to prove them wrong!

Can anyone relate? I'm sure we all have some stress in our lives here, but is anyone else writing a thesis while taking two difficult classes and holding down two jobs while knowing that they will soon be unemployed??? Come on, someone make me feel better by telling me how much more stressful your life is than mine!

 

[Kestra]

I can't relate personally to your exact situation, but I know how stressful life situations go.

For what it's worth, you seem like one of the most down-to-earth, sensible people on this board. And I mean that in a good way! I've sometimes wished I had a bit of your nature myself! It sounds like things will be really difficult, but I'm confident that you'll get through successfully. You just seem like a really competent person.

And remember, you can always come to TBBS to vent anytime!

Hugs!

 

[sbk1234]

To feel stress over what you're describing is incredibly natural and reasonable. Anyone would be stressed out in your shoes. However, it sounds like you have a lot going in your favor. Mostly, you described a good attitude and healthy self confidence. That's worth a LOT.
You'll get through all this. I would suggest you focus more on the here and now. YOur immediate goal getting though this semester should be your focus. Don't worry about finding work, etc. right now. If you think about EVERYTHING, (as I often have) it will drive you nuts, and you'll never sleep again. Keep the goal in mind. You're actually in the home stretch now, as far as school.

And try to find some time each week to cut loose and relax. Keep us posted.

 

[Me-Ike]

Oh, wow. You sound like you have exactly my life right now.

I am also writing my thesis and I also had to take classes in the meantime (just finished the last one last Tuesday). I also have to work during the week because no one else is paying my rent. The money I earn leaves me just enough to support myself; for months I haven't seen a new piece of clothing or gone out. I don't know what I'll do in July, when I graduate.

It is tough. Last Wednesday I slept for whooping two hours because I just couldn't relax anymore. My jaw constantly feels like I could put nuts between my teeth and end up with the finest powder. I have now taken to listening to calming music before I go to sleep or otherwise I won't sleep at all.
In a couple of minutes I have to leave for work and I'll have to walk there. The snow is preventing me from taking the bike, the busses don't drive there and I can't afford a car. I lose another hour a day getting to work which usually wouldn't be much, but right now I am a collector of minutes.

But! As soon as I am going to graduate (and I am going to be fucking awesome), I will get on that stage, get my piece of paper, and dammit, I'm going dance in front of the audience! I will be so proud to have done all of this on my own, not with mommy and daddy holding my hand. To have juggled a thesis, a job, classes, and looking good while doing it!
That is quite a helpful thought, feel free to share it.

 

[RJDiogenes]

It's perfectly natural to be stressed out in stressful situations. You just have to know that everything will work out fine. Picture yourself in the future, looking back and laughing. Also, things like massage, Yoga, meditation, and so on can help.

 

[Spot's Meow]

It is tough. Last Wednesday I slept for whooping two hours because I just couldn't relax anymore. My jaw constantly feels like I could put nuts between my teeth and end up with the finest powder. I have now taken to listening to calming music before I go to sleep or otherwise I won't sleep at all.
In a couple of minutes I have to leave for work and I'll have to walk there. The snow is preventing me from taking the bike, the busses don't drive there and I can't afford a car. I lose another hour a day getting to work which usually wouldn't be much, but right now I am a collector of minutes.

I definitely know what you mean about that. It takes me an hour to get to work, sometimes an hour and a half, on the bus, which is really my only way of getting there. If I could drive it would only be 20 minutes away, but there is no parking available where I work or nearby. If I had nothing else going on it wouldn't be a huge deal but I feel like those are precious seconds I am losing where I could be working on my thesis or eating breakfast or doing something else necessary. It's frustrating!

Good to know I'm not the only crazy person here! I hope that we both do well in the coming months.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Can anyone relate? I'm sure we all have some stress in our lives here, but is anyone else writing a thesis while taking two difficult classes and holding down two jobs while knowing that they will soon be unemployed??? Come on, someone make me feel better by telling me how much more stressful your life is than mine!

I could definitively relate. I just ended one of the most stressful periods of my life, and I had half the volume of work you are carrying. This was my last year of PhD, so I had to take three different classes (all three pretty hard, from galaxy formation to inflation cosmology, but luckily quite short), my usual day job of data reduction and/or tech support, beside obviously finishing my research work and writing my dissertation.

I also tend to worry and stress a lot about everything (I'm the ultimate perfectionist), but luckily I seem to tap into some unseen source of energy that keeps me going even when I am physically exhausted. It saved me during my master's final year (during which I also worked a day job to support myself: luckily it was a librarian job so it wasn't too busy or stressful), and it saved me during this ordeal. Now that I'm finished I am sleeping like 16 hours a day just to recover.

The only advice that I can give, is to take care of yourself physically. I know it may sound silly, but eating healthy, taking a few hours a week to exercise or just take a walk outside once in a while is the best way to achieve your goals. I know it's easy to let yourself go, dive into work and live on junk food and caffeinated drinks, but this is not the way to go, especially for any long span of time. Trust me, even it it may seems to you that you are taking time away from work, in the end it will make sure you work better, faster and get out on top of everything you have do deal with.

Just have my blessing and hold tight!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

WOW! Good for you. It does sound crazy and stressful, but i envy the life you will have when you are all done. You're awesome for taking this on!

 

[Spot's Meow]

Thanks everyone for making feel better already! I am very grateful for the one thing in my life that is not stressful - I have a great boyfriend who I get along with very well. He's going for his PhD in Physics and has about 4 years left...so once I've got everything figured out we'll have some major stress in his life to deal with!

 

[Holdfast]

I quite deliberately avoid creating periods in my life where I have multiple challenging tasks extending over long periods of my life, and that's because I dislike the chronic effects of that stress. I think that's because I'm very goal-oriented, aiming to successfully complete tasks as quickly and efficiently as possible. 20 complex tasks to juggle and complete within a day and still finish on time and not need to stay late, sure, I love that buzz! Not every day of course, but once in a while, it's awesomely fun (you wouldn't believe how good I've got at dictating letters while driving, dashing from one emergency home visit to another, so they don't hang over me at the end of the day). But massive projects with long-term extended deadlines are sheer anathema to me.

I say all that in order that you understand why I have a great deal of sympathy with anyone struggling with that kind of extended workload. It creates chronic stress that I personally find intensely dislikable. When I had to deal with that sort of situation, I cancelled it out by breaking down the project into manageable chunks. Then identifying the tasks that were imminently time-critical and doing those immediately, and procrastinating the rest until they became time-limited. That way I had the buzz of finishing tasks quickly and immediately, while not allowing the larger project to annoy me with its immensity.

YMMV, but that's what I found useful when facing big medium/long-term challenges. Run each day in a time-critical and efficient manner, and don't worry about the next one, and suddenly you'll reach the finish line and it will all have been done without realising it.

 

[Tim]

I say all that in order that you understand why I have a great deal of sympathy with anyone struggling with that kind of extended workload. It creates chronic stress that I personally find intensely dislikable. When I had to deal with that sort of situation, I cancelled it out by breaking down the project into manageable chunks. Then identifying the tasks that were imminently time-critical and doing those immediately, and procrastinating the rest until they became time-limited. That way I had the buzz of finishing tasks quickly and immediately, while not allowing the larger project to annoy me with its immensity.

YMMV may vary, but that's what I found useful when facing big medium/long-term challenges. Run each day in a time-critical and efficient manner, and don't worry about the next one, and suddenly you'll reach the finish line and it will all have been done without realising it.

I agree with this sentiment. When I was working on my PhD, I had a set timeframe in mind and planned out tasks accordingly--well, as best as one can when forced to predict events two years down the road that are contingent on other tasks not yet completed. I found producing Gantt charts and outlines to be helpful, though in the final push I just went "all in" and tried to get as good of a head start on writing my dissertation as possible; there was indeed a certain rush in being fully absorbed in that work.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spot, at least you have a reason for all the stress. You have actual things that are happening that generate it for you. Your stress is justified.

Some of us, OTOH, just feel stress for no reason. Maybe it's the coffee, I dunno. Or it could be flat out paranoia. What I'm saying is that if there's a lot on your plate, so to speak, don't be ashamed to feel stressed. You're entitled. I'm the one who needs to wake the fuck up already.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Would you think I should be locked up because I said I kind of envy you?

I spend most of my day inside doing very little because of unemployment and social anxiety, and regretting on the academic career I always wanted, but couldn't have. It is a wonderful thing you are doing and you should be very proud of yourself. The world needs more dedicated and motivated people like you. Because you are so busy the time will pass quickly and you will be on to a new and exciting phase of your life.

A few basic bits of advice. Make sure the stress does not effect you bodily functioning on a day to day basis. Make sure you get proper nutrition and if you start to feel physical effects of stress practice progressive muscle relaxation. Also try and adopt a one day at a time outlook. Don't worry about anything that is not immediately at hand. Good luck and we are all pulling for you.

 

[Spot's Meow]

It's funny you all mentioned taking care of my body, because last weekend I was planning on writing quite a bit for my thesis but I suddently got very sick! I'm still not sure exactly what it was, I am assuming food poisoning, but it had me throwing up all night and I was not exactly in the best frame of mind to write the next day.

Hopefully I can get something accomplished this weekend.

Thank you everyone for the support and for the advice. Hopefully I get out of all of this alive.

This past week I was able to complete my scholarship application and get some idea of my lodgings for a professional conference at the end of April. There's just so much going on, I feel like my head is going to explode, but at least I got that out of the way. Oh, I was also able to finish my taxes last weekend, woohoo!

Now I've just got to write, write, write...

 

[Misfit Toy]

Now I've just got to write, write, write...

Don't forget to breathe, breathe, breathe...

 

[Spot's Meow]

Now I've just got to write, write, write...

Don't forget to breathe, breathe, breathe...

It doesn't help that someone I work with is also writing a Master's thesis in History, albeit a research paper as opposed to a project, and he just told us that he finished writing his introduction - 40 pages!! I about passed out when I heard that, as mine is only 10 pages!

By the way the writing is going well today.