How did you meet your sweetie?

[Capn Flukie]

Valentine's day is coming and I wondered about the wonderful wacky interesting stories about how we all met our sweeties!

:heavy groan and sigh:

It's so lovely when Valentine's Day comes and people get all lovey, mushy, nutty and make us lonley people feel like miserable shit.

Keep rubbing it in our faces, go ahead with your "sweeties" and "I wuv yous."

Anyways.

I met my somewhat 'sweetie' in the hallway of my apartment building, she had just moved in, and was on the outs with her then bf. We chatted a bit here and there over a couple of months, then she came over to watch the Season 5 premiere of Lost, and we hit it off well and had many good times together. She has the same kinda quirky humor I have and spent many hours trying to 'out-pun' each other. She's tall and kinda reminds me of a brunette Drew Barrymore. Eventually, I learned of her serious problem, and our relationship deteriorated and she left me without warning.

That was six months ago. Two weeks ago, I was working and she shows up out of the blue. She's been trying to take care of her problem, but it's been difficult for her, she stayed with me for a week, and I took care of her, then she left for her parent's house to live for a bit. She still loves me, and despite the hurt she caused, I still love her, and when she 'gets better' she wants to renew our relationship. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I think it's worth trying. Would be nice to spend Valentine's Day with her, though.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

:heavy groan and sigh:

It's so lovely when Valentine's Day comes and people get all lovey, mushy, nutty and make us lonley people feel like miserable shit.

Keep rubbing it in our faces, go ahead with your "sweeties" and "I wuv yous."

Says the guy who's afraid to ask a co-worker on a date.

Good Lord, dude. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Join your local Jaycees, volunteer at the library, offer to work at the Humane Society ... shit, join a book club. Christ Almighty. You're completely content to wallow within your self-pity, and you refuse to do anything to actually address it. It's not a matter of "having game," or being a "player," it's a matter of having enough self-confidence to present yourself as a decent person to a woman. That's all. It's a horrific cliche, and you've heard it before: You have to love yourself before you can love others. If you're so miserable with your existence, fix it.

Just because people are sharing their stories of getting together with their significant others doesn't mean they're "rubbing it in your face." If you honestly believe that, you need real help. If you think that people sharing their stories of getting together constitutes intentionally making you feel like "miserable shit," you have a ridiculous persecution complex going.

He's right about Valentine's Day, though. That day has nothing to do with love, it's just an excuse to sell cards, candy and flowers. It's not even celebrating a special occasion, it's just completely made up.

It's dangerous even to attached couples, since the implication is that if you don't buy all this shit for your sweetie, you don't love them enough (or at all). So it's used as a marketing gimmick and a guilt trip.

There's nothing that couples should do on Valentine's Day that they shouldn't also do every other day of the year.

As for us single people, though? I've tried to learn to ignore it. I don't view the day as much an attack on people like me (single people are obviously not in the target market anyway), but more like what I just said.

Oh well. As for this thread topic? My last GF - who I've talked about enough as it is - I met her through a friend. I remember our first date concerned mozzarella cheese sticks.

My GF explained it like this to me once. She heard a story about when Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere were married. Cindy said she liked to get things like flowers occasionally, they made her feel special. Richard was all into his Dali Lama Buddhist thing and thought we should be more spiritual and non-material and not wrapped up with those kind of things. Cindy's response was, "well dammit sometimes I still just want some flowers". My GF agreed with her. "Dammit sometimes I still just want some flowers" she said. Valentines's is just a nice organized way we get to remember these things and get credit for it without having to be too spontaneous and remembering things out of the blue.

 

[Arrqh]

Do I sound angry? I'm not *complaining* that Valentine's Day is like this. I'm just pointing out the truth. I'm not bitter or vindictive when I point out that it is just a made-up holiday, an excuse to sell products. It's not celebrating anything. Not a person, not a specific occasion. Madison Avenue just seized upon the idea.

Uh, and I never implied otherwise. My point stands: if couples do run into problems during Valentines Day then the day isn't the cause, but just a symptom of something else being wrong. People in healthy relationships don't guilt their partners.

In or out of a relationship, I have never felt that anything was required on Valentines Day. It's merely an excuse to do something a little out of the ordinary if you want to. That's all.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Dammit sometimes I still just want some flowers" she said.

Exactly. And you can buy them any day of the year. It doesn't have to be February bleedin' 14th.

Valentines's is just a nice organized way we get to remember these things and get credit for it without having to be too spontaneous and remembering things out of the blue.

Ah, but if you do it all the time, there's nothing to remember, is there?

if couples do run into problems during Valentines Day then the day isn't the cause, but just a symptom of something else being wrong. People in healthy relationships don't guilt their partners.

True enough.

 

[Kestra]

Valentine's day is coming and I wondered about the wonderful wacky interesting stories about how we all met our sweeties!

:heavy groan and sigh:

It's so lovely when Valentine's Day comes and people get all lovey, mushy, nutty and make us lonley people feel like miserable shit.

Keep rubbing it in our faces, go ahead with your "sweeties" and "I wuv yous."

You don't need us to make you feel like miserable shit. You seem to be doing a good enough job on your own.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

What a fun topic this is going to be reading!! ***applause*** to you OP!!

Dark Journey, what an amazingly sweet story yours is. I have to ask...do you see yourself marrying this girl? She sounds really awesome. And, i am offering myself to you as someone you can talk to on those days when you feel that dark cloud enveloping you. I've been doing pretty good with the depression but i do suffer from it too, so i get it. Anytime you might want to talk, I'm here.

Thank you Randi. Having people as sweet as you here makes the board one of the real pleasures that it is. Yes I do see myself marrying her. We're kind of "take it slow" people to say the least. We're still not even living together. There were times in the past and sometimes even now that I question whether it is the right thing. There is that stigma that is attached to the idea of marrying the first and only girl you have ever been with. There is a part of me that wonders "what I am missing out on". We fought very long and hard for our relationship though. It was a very rocky road the first couple of years. She was over-sensitive, and with all of my problems and fears and doubts I gave her plenty of reason to be sensitive. I think probably the most importan thing I have taken from our relationship though is seeing that sometimes you have to let go of vague dreams and fantasies of what might have been to realize there is something in front of you that is really wonderful and if you are willing to accept it that is all you really need to be happy.

My pleasure. And hey, don't forget, you and i may actually be related....

What you said reminded me of a quote that, the first time i heard, it really hit me over the head. "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

 

[Trekker4747]

match.com

I was stuck working late on a Friday so I winked at her. She was new into town and hadn't yet met anyone to go out with so she responded. The rest is history in progress.

I've done on-line and real-world dating service to not much luck.

 

[Birdog]

To avoid typing out a long post you can read the newspaper article for yourselves. I can't get into the archive so you'll have to read it from this newsletter that copied it.

http://www.texascadet.org/news/stories/2008/200808/NEWSLETTER 27 Aug 2008.pdf

It's page 8 and 9.

She's only my second relationship but it's going very well. We've had our issues like everyone else(she didn't speak to me for almost a whole day on our honeymoon...Chicago traffic ;-) ) but we always work it out.

 

[Squiggy]

match.com

I was stuck working late on a Friday so I winked at her. She was new into town and hadn't yet met anyone to go out with so she responded. The rest is history in progress.

I've done on-line and real-world dating service to not much luck.

Like terrorism online dating only takes one success to be worth it. If you don't succeed, try try again.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

He's right about Valentine's Day, though. That day has nothing to do with love, it's just an excuse to sell cards, candy and flowers. It's not even celebrating a special occasion, it's just completely made up.

So what? It only affects you if you chose to let it do so... and that goes for being in or out of a relationship. If it's used by one party in a relationship as a guilt trip then it's a symptom, not a cause.

Like I said, I'm trying not to let it affect me. Do I sound angry? I'm not *complaining* that Valentine's Day is like this. I'm just pointing out the truth. I'm not bitter or vindictive when I point out that it is just a made-up holiday, an excuse to sell products. It's not celebrating anything. Not a person, not a specific occasion. Madison Avenue just seized upon the idea.

And like I also said, there's nothing that couples do on Valentine's Day that they shouldn't be doing all the time. The best time to buy a card, or flowers, or candy for someone is at totally random moments. When it's unexpected. It's a copout to do it on February 14th, because then it's expected - indeed, required.

I would have exactly the same attitude towards Valentine's Day if I was attached, or married, as I do now as a single guy.

All holidays are "made up," so you aren't pointing out any profound "truth," you're just grinding an ax because you want other people to feel bad about being in relationships. Same crap Trekker is pulling. You can feign innocence all you want, but this is about nothing more than your own bitterness.

 

[Birdog]

match.com

I was stuck working late on a Friday so I winked at her. She was new into town and hadn't yet met anyone to go out with so she responded. The rest is history in progress.

I've done on-line and real-world dating service to not much luck.

Like terrorism online dating only takes one success to be worth it. If you don't succeed, try try again.

Before I met my wife I tried online dating for years. Lost a fair chunk of change too. Sent many messages. Didn't get a single reply. Not even an F off. eHarmony? It rejected me. Wouldn't even let me sign up.

His best bet is to join a group of some kind. Even though that's not why I joined CAP, I did meet my wife through it.

 

[SalvorHardin]

It was at a birthday party of a very close female friend of mine. They were both students at the same university but I hadn't seen her before.

I did a little research on the spot, learned she was single so I slowly and steadily, over the course of the party, got to introduce myself and start a conversation.
The conversation was interesting and fun. I got a phone number and called her 2 days later.

We went on a date and another and another.... we were supposed to get married this year but due to some personal stuff it is now scheduled for 2011.
There's no hurry after all, we're still young.

 

[Kirby]

We met in a marketing class in college that I went into with every intention of dropping since it didn't work with my schedule at all, but for some reason I never dropped it.

Our first date was 1 week after Valentines day; February 21, 1992. We've been married since July 30, 1994.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

you're just grinding an ax because you want other people to feel bad about being in relationships. Same crap Trekker is pulling. You can feign innocence all you want, but this is about nothing more than your own bitterness.

Not true. Did any part of my message seem bitter? I'm not. I'm just pointing out that there's nothing that couples should do on V-Day that they shouldn't ALWAYS do. I don't think it's a conspiracy to make me feel bad or anything, because I don't. I just don't see the big deal about saving it all for one day when you should be doing it all the time.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

I like that quote!

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

I tried that last year. I don't think it worked.

 

[cultcross]

^ It kind of assumes the life waiting for you doesn't suck.

To answer the OP, I was dating her flatmate.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

^ It kind of assumes the life waiting for you doesn't suck.

Well, it sucks pretty bad right now in general, possibly worse than the old life - hence why I don't think that particular maxim worked for me as I was aiming for something better. Alas, things conspired and stuff happened.

Could be worse, mind. (Or, in the same way, better.)

 

[KimMH]

^ It kind of assumes the life waiting for you doesn't suck.

To answer the OP, I was dating her flatmate.

It seems defeatist to assume your new life will suck too.

You were a meaningless fling. Then he met me. 22 years later he's still my flatmate.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

To avoid typing out a long post you can read the newspaper article for yourselves. I can't get into the archive so you'll have to read it from this newsletter that copied it.

http://www.texascadet.org/news/stories/2008/200808/NEWSLETTER 27 Aug 2008.pdf

It's page 8 and 9.

She's only my second relationship but it's going very well. We've had our issues like everyone else(she didn't speak to me for almost a whole day on our honeymoon...Chicago traffic ;-) ) but we always work it out.

We have the same anniversary. Sept. 6 is the day I met my girlfriend. I'll bet your glad your friend told you Mikki likes you, seems you were a little slow to pick up all the hints.

 

[cultcross]

It seems defeatist to assume your new life will suck too.

It's pretty pessimistic to assume your current life sucks.

You were a meaningless fling. Then he met me. 22 years later he's still my flatmate.

I haven't a clue what you're on about, honestly.