Ladies, what do you look for in a man?

[T'Baio]

Tall, dark and handsome? Beard or shaved? Hair or bald or doesn't matter? Likes kids? Nice, mean, tips waiters or trips them? Sarcastic, cynical, lazy, motivated or ambitious? Huge dick or no sex drive or only on Saturdays and real fast? Paraplegic, one eared, car driving, bus taking, MD or garbage man? Someone who excuses you when you sneeze?

Your perfect dream man, what's he like?

Just wondering.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Dark, not too tall, average looks (as many good-looking men tend to be conceited), preferable clean shaven.

Sense of humour and above average intelligence. Willing to give me plenty of space.

Most of all he has to have be someone who has the spark for knowledge.

 

[ThankQ]

average looks (as many good-looking men tend to be conceited),

Pshaw. I can't help it if you're intimidated by my beauty.

 

[Kestra]

Skinny white nerds that are intelligent and sweet.

 

[ThankQ]

Skinny white nerds that are intelligent and sweet.

Squiggy POUNCE!

 

[Vulcan Princess]

Personality: Funny, but not a clown. Smart without being arrogant. Kind, but not a doormat. Able to carry on a conversation. Good listener.

Looks: I care much less about looks. I think a great personality can make even an average person extremely attractive. For example, the guy I like now is pretty average looking, and his hair is graying a bit. When I first met him, I didn't give him a second look, but once I got to know him, he became totally hot.

 

[ThankQ]

Smart without being arrogant.

Why not...

Tall w/out being arrogant
or
Handsome w/out being arrogant
or
Funny w/out being arrogant
or
Strong w/out being arrogant
or
Nice singing voice w/out beng arrogant
or
Christian w/out being arrogant
or
Well-off w/out being arrogant

or

1.7 million other things that may lead to arrogance?

There is no demonstrable relationship between intelligence and arrogance that doesn't exisit in anything else about which people are arrogant.

 

[Vulcan Princess]

^Sorry if I touched a nerve. I hang out in universities, where many intelligent, arrogant people congregate. I know they don't have to go together, but I've seen a high enough correlation that I felt it was worthy of mention in my list.

 

[stonester1]

^Sorry if I touched a nerve. I hang out in universities, where many intelligent, arrogant people congregate. I know they don't have to go together, but I've seen a high enough correlation that I felt it was worthy of mention in my list.

I do tend to agree. Any "superior" trait can breed arrogance, but IMO (and yes, the university setting helped inform that, and the internet has locked it in place) that high intelligence can especially render one suceptible to arrogance.

 

[ThankQ]

^Sorry if I touched a nerve. I hang out in universities, where many intelligent, arrogant people congregate. I know they don't have to go together, but I've seen a high enough correlation that I felt it was worthy of mention in my list.

I hang out at universities, too, and I find far more arrogance in sororities and fraternities than I find in the library or laboratory.

I think people are quick to mistake intellectual confidence for arrogance.

 

[stonester1]

^Sorry if I touched a nerve. I hang out in universities, where many intelligent, arrogant people congregate. I know they don't have to go together, but I've seen a high enough correlation that I felt it was worthy of mention in my list.

I hang out at universities, too, and I find far more arrogance in sororities and fraternities than I find in the library or laboratory.

I think people are quick to mistake intellectual confidence for arrogance.

No, arrogance is arrogance, whether it's from the frathouse or the lab. If one doesn't keep things in perspective, one can take on that trait.

If someone is perceiving you as arrogant, the non-arrogant approach isn't to blame them, it's to take a look at yourself long and hard, and see if they have a point, wonder why they may be perceiving that, and dial it down.

Of course, it's always possible that's their insecurities talking...or your arrogance is assuming their insecure about their inferiority. I mean, who wouldn't be...



It's all about honest self awareness and a genuine sense of humility. Always handy in relating to other humans.

 

[ThankQ]

If someone is perceiving you as arrogant, the non-arrogant approach isn't to blame them, it's to take a look at yourself long and hard, and see if they have a point, wonder why they may be perceiving that, and dial it down.

So once someone thinks you're arrogant, they're automatically right, and you need to adjust yourself to please their perceptions.

Your little "self analysis" didn't allow for the possibility that, upon self reflection, you do not agree with the assessment of arrogance.

 

[stonester1]

If someone is perceiving you as arrogant, the non-arrogant approach isn't to blame them, it's to take a look at yourself long and hard, and see if they have a point, wonder why they may be perceiving that, and dial it down.

So once someone thinks you're arrogant, they're automatically right, and you need to adjust yourself to please their perceptions.

Your little "self analysis" didn't allow for the possibility that, upon self reflection, you do not agree with the assessment of arrogance.

Actually, it does, read again.

This all hitting a bit too close to home there, TQ?

 

[T'Baio]

You wanna' have this conversation in your thread, instead of derailing mine?

 

[ThankQ]

If someone is perceiving you as arrogant, the non-arrogant approach isn't to blame them, it's to take a look at yourself long and hard, and see if they have a point, wonder why they may be perceiving that, and dial it down.

So once someone thinks you're arrogant, they're automatically right, and you need to adjust yourself to please their perceptions.

Your little "self analysis" didn't allow for the possibility that, upon self reflection, you do not agree with the assessment of arrogance.

Actually, it does, read again.

This all hitting a bit too close to home there, TQ?

Where?

"And dial it down". Not, "if you find yourself in agreement, then dial it down". I don't see where you allowed for different findings.

The perception of arrogance does hit close to home, but not arrogance itself.

I am sure of only one thing, and that is that I am sure of of nothing else.

I do not think I am smarter than anyone, and I damn sure don't think I'm wiser than anyone. I don't think my fields interests are any nobler than anyone elses interests.

I have various interests, many of them classified as "academic" and I am not ashamed of this, and I'm tired of the notion that I should turn myself into Casper Milquetoast to ensure I never hurt anyone's feelings.

You wanna' have this conversation in your thread, instead of derailing mine?

Das ist alles

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I would hope that girls don't get turned off by the sound of my voice. I sound like a 45 rpm single played at 33. It's a deep bass thing, but not in a good way. I *hate* to hear myself talk.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Skinny white nerds that are intelligent and sweet.

Squiggy POUNCE!

She said "skinny."

 

[stonester1]

I would hope that girls don't get turned off by the sound of my voice. I sound like a 45 rpm single played at 33. It's a deep bass thing, but not in a good way. I *hate* to hear myself talk.

I know exactly what you are saying (I'm 41 AND a radio DJ), but some of the young uns here might not. 45...33...what?

 

[RoJoHen]

Skinny white nerds that are intelligent and sweet.

Squiggy POUNCE!

She said "skinny."

Dammit!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I would hope that girls don't get turned off by the sound of my voice. I sound like a 45 rpm single played at 33. It's a deep bass thing, but not in a good way. I *hate* to hear myself talk.

I know exactly what you are saying (I'm 41 AND a radio DJ), but some of the young uns here might not. 45...33...what?

If you're trying to make me feel even MORE old and useless, you're succeeding.

(and just to be clear, I was talking about records. 45-rpm singles vs. 33-rpm albums. )

Another thing that I hope isn't an automatic turnoff: Baldness. I always hated the way I looked with hair. I was almost embarrassed to be seen that way. I didn't go bald to get women, I did it because I feel more comfortable as a baldie. But I'd hate to think that it killed my chances with girls...