• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

The instructions don't make sense... flatpack nightmare

K'Ehleyr

K'Ehleyr

Commodore
Commodore
So to encourage Son to study, for his birthday he has a 'bedroom makeover' ~ yes a bit crap I know but it's just after Christmas and out of ideas.
A complete 'muck out' of his room, co-ordinated hangers for his clothes and a desk :techman: So went to the shop with the 'laminated book of dreams' and lo an elf did come forth with the requested desk (thanks Bill Bailey) and I dragged it home and now am trying to assemble it ~ although the instructions say it's a job for 2 I am determined to do it alone :klingon:

But, but, but... it's no point saying put screw 109 into this bit if you don't tell me what screw 109 is and what point it is. And the pics are rubbish. I've been at it 45 mins and managed to construct one drawer with the help of a hammer (I love my hammer :luvlove:) So needed a break.

Please tell me of other flat pack nightmares you've had ~ especially ones where the thing collapses after a day :lol:
 
I'm actually really good at assembling things like that. I can easily identify screws based on their pictures and so forth. Maybe I should hire myself out as an assembly guy. :lol:
 
Robert Maxwell said:
I'm actually really good at assembling things like that. I can easily identify screws based on their pictures and so forth. Maybe I should hire myself out as an assembly guy. :lol:
Click to expand...

You would make a good living I'm sure.
What is the point though of numbering the screws on the instructions but not numbering them in any kind of identification bit :scream:

Have assembled the 3 drawers and currently hammering in the book shelf bit.

I just know when I put the top on it's going to collapse :lol:
If I don't post again ~ I'm underneath a crappy Argus desk desperately trying to reach for my cigarettes :shifty:
 
I also like the good old flatpack assembly thing too: it keeps me busy for a while. Once spent an evening putting together a flatpack filing cabinet and one afternoon assembling a computer desk, both from Argos (specially chosen from The Laminated Book of Dreams™). :D Plus I helped my dad fix the bed he broke a while back.

Robert Maxwell said:
I'm actually really good at assembling things like that. I can easily identify screws based on their pictures and so forth. Maybe I should hire myself out as an assembly guy. :lol:
Click to expand...

You'd need a stage name. How about "Allen Key"? :bolian:
 
My sister's really good with flatpack furniture. I try to time buying anything so it coincides with her coming for a visit!
 
Robert Maxwell said:
I'm actually really good at assembling things like that. I can easily identify screws based on their pictures and so forth. Maybe I should hire myself out as an assembly guy. :lol:
Click to expand...
Kiddding aside, you might be able to make money doing that. I use to work with a guy that worked part time doing just that: Furinture assembly.

He left some business cards at the local U-haul, student unions, realtors, places like that, and made pretty good pocket money just putting pressboard and cardboard Wal-Mart shit together for people that have just moved.

I have no patience for either sub par cabinets and putting furniture together-- toys, no problem, furniture don't even ask. So most of the time I'll spend days shopping use furniture places for older solid woods cabinets/furniture or looking into scratch building it myself before settling for a flatpack furniture.
 
Zion Ravescene said:
I also like the good old flatpack assembly thing too: it keeps me busy for a while. Once spent an evening putting together a flatpack filing cabinet and one afternoon assembling a computer desk, both from Argos (specially chosen from The Laminated Book of Dreams™). :D Plus I helped my dad fix the bed he broke a while back.

Robert Maxwell said:
I'm actually really good at assembling things like that. I can easily identify screws based on their pictures and so forth. Maybe I should hire myself out as an assembly guy. :lol:
Click to expand...

You'd need a stage name. How about "Allen Key"? :bolian:
Click to expand...

Oh Zee I'm glad someone got the reference ;)
And don't mention Allen Keys ~ I've just realised I was using mine wrong and it's a hell of a lot quicker if you put the short bit in the hole :rolleyes: :guffaw:

And Trample that is a cunning plan ~ I just don't have any Handy friends and asking Man to help would just drive me to even more wine :lol: anyway I'm getting stubborn in my "I can do anything" thing ~ apart from drains :o

I've only got the top bit to put on now... So excited :)
 
Last edited:
K'Ehleyr said:
Oh Zee I'm glad someone got the reference ;)
Click to expand...
[catches K'Eh's tears of joy] ;)
And don't mention Allen Keys ~ I've just realised I was using mine wrong and it's a hell of a lot quicker if you put the short bit in the hole :rolleyes: :guffaw:
Click to expand...
As the actress said to the bishop... ;)

When reassembling our bed recently, we lost our hexagonal keys and simply found it easier to buy a whole set of them from B&Q attached to a keyring. It's now a permanent fixture in my toolbox. :)
 
K'Ehleyr said:
So to encourage Son to study, for his birthday he has a 'bedroom makeover' ~ yes a bit crap I know but it's just after Christmas and out of ideas.
A complete 'muck out' of his room, co-ordinated hangers for his clothes and a desk :techman: So went to the shop with the 'laminated book of dreams' and lo an elf did come forth with the requested desk (thanks Bill Bailey) and I dragged it home and now am trying to assemble it ~ although the instructions say it's a job for 2 I am determined to do it alone :klingon:

But, but, but... it's no point saying put screw 109 into this bit if you don't tell me what screw 109 is and what point it is. And the pics are rubbish. I've been at it 45 mins and managed to construct one drawer with the help of a hammer (I love my hammer :luvlove:) So needed a break.
Click to expand...

Don't skimp on tacking in the backboard, that's the only part that holds these things together. It's always the last bit you do, and you always end up using half the amount of tacks they say.

Within a week it will be leaning sideways.
 
Funny, I've always called it an Allen wrench.

I'm usually good at those flatpacks, too. When a friend had one of those Rube Goldberg-ish marble rollercoaster toys for her kid, and all you had to go by for assembly in the various configurations were the pictures, I was the one to assemble it. Hubby did the tubing part, though. I don't like the tubing and he (for all his brains and patience) can't do the major assembly. It's why we're a good team.

But that's a good idea for a part-time job--"assembler of flatpacks."
 
I just put together a filing cabinet yesterday. I was able to confirm the identity of each type of screw and dowel by the count of how many of each type was provided; fortunately no two types came in exactly the same quantity.

They didn't provide enough glue to put a bead along the drawer-bottom track as instructed, though. There was barely enough to treat both ends of each dowel. I decided that the drawer-bottoms had a good enough friction fit that I didn't need to worry about the glue though.
 
Pingfah said:
K'Ehleyr said:
So to encourage Son to study, for his birthday he has a 'bedroom makeover' ~ yes a bit crap I know but it's just after Christmas and out of ideas.
A complete 'muck out' of his room, co-ordinated hangers for his clothes and a desk :techman: So went to the shop with the 'laminated book of dreams' and lo an elf did come forth with the requested desk (thanks Bill Bailey) and I dragged it home and now am trying to assemble it ~ although the instructions say it's a job for 2 I am determined to do it alone :klingon:

But, but, but... it's no point saying put screw 109 into this bit if you don't tell me what screw 109 is and what point it is. And the pics are rubbish. I've been at it 45 mins and managed to construct one drawer with the help of a hammer (I love my hammer :luvlove:) So needed a break.
Click to expand...

Don't skimp on tacking in the backboard, that's the only part that holds these things together. It's always the last bit you do, and you always end up using half the amount of tacks they say.

Within a week it will be leaning sideways.
Click to expand...
What I do sometimes, if it's a larger item or going to be loaded down, I don't use the thin cardboard they pack in the box. I get a thin sheet of wafer-board or plywood and use a combination of small finishing nails and construction adhesives to attach a stronger new back to the piece.
 
^ This is good advice, which I will employ next time. I don't think I have ever had a piece of flat packed furniture which has survived any of my many house movings.
 
Pingfah said:
Don't skimp on tacking in the backboard, that's the only part that holds these things together. It's always the last bit you do, and you always end up using half the amount of tacks they say.

Within a week it will be leaning sideways.
Click to expand...

Backboard? BACKBOARD? I don't have a backboard :eek:

I have two little bits that seem to attach everything together but I'm just currently waiting for the woodglue to dry as I tried to get one of the drawers in and it was a bit too big "so I hit it with a hammer" and it broke :lol:
But on the good side I have no bits left over which is a bonus!

I will advise Son not to sit on it and hopefully distract him with the new lamp :shifty:

I'm suddenly feeling less confident about the DIY show that I applied for :guffaw:
 
K'Ehleyr said:
Pingfah said:
Don't skimp on tacking in the backboard, that's the only part that holds these things together. It's always the last bit you do, and you always end up using half the amount of tacks they say.

Within a week it will be leaning sideways.
Click to expand...

Backboard? BACKBOARD? I don't have a backboard :eek:
Click to expand...

Oh it's a desk, I missed that bit.

Don't worry, i'm sure it will be fine.

Really.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top