Should kids get a trophy just for playing

[Miss Chicken]

My son, who has cerebral palsy, put as just as much effort into table tennis as any of the able-bodied children did. Some of the able-bodied children who were at the bottom of the table dropped out but my son didn't give up. He saw the whole season through. He came last but was given a participation certificate and he didn't feel like it was a booby prize. It was his reward for not giving up. He certainly wasn't a loser. The losers were the ones that gave up.

The top three place getters got trophies.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

. A team photo would be nice.

Ooh, I really like this idea! They're not being awarded, but it shows that they were a part of something.

Yes, this is a good idea and it's generally done for all teams. I just have a problem with giving a trophy to kids just for trying. I think it might lead to false expectations later in life.

 

[Marc]

Actually, there is.

That would be like throwing a graduation-prom just for passing from one grade to the next.

Bullshit.

It's a little small plastic trophy - not something like they'd win at Wimbledon.

'Hey, even though you didn't accomplish much, at least you participated. Here have a trophy for that.'

No, competition is a good thing.
Merely being there isn't really worthy of recognition with a prize.

gee thanks.

 

[RoJoHen]

. A team photo would be nice.

Ooh, I really like this idea! They're not being awarded, but it shows that they were a part of something.

Yes, this is a good idea and it's generally done for all teams. I just have a problem with giving a trophy to kids just for trying. I think it might lead to false expectations later in life.

I think you're giving the trophies too much credit.

 

[Amaris]

. A team photo would be nice.

Ooh, I really like this idea! They're not being awarded, but it shows that they were a part of something.

Agreed. I was thinking ribbon or certificate, but a team photo would be better!


J.

 

[sbk1234]

I'll be honest, I haven't read the whole thread, so if this has been mentioned, sorry.

How about awards for the top three players, however that's done, and certificates for those who made each practice and showed exemplarary sportsmanship, teamwork, etc? That way those kids who aren't the best athletes can at least get acknowledgements that they tried hard and did their best.

 

[Bloodwhiner]

I find it sad that everything has to be a competition. They're young. Just let them learn the game and play. No need to keep score.

no need for an adult to keep score, every kid out there will already be doing that - regardless of the league rules.

Any sport is competition, some are better than others. Some are good but will never excel. There is nothing wrong with that reality. My son was a good defender/goalkeeper but at 5'1 he wasn't going to cut it in a full size goal. He knew that and moved on. Three years later he is second ranking member of his Karate dojo and is learning a martial art that will serve him for life.

 

[Jadzia]

There's nothing wrong with competition, keeping score, or with winning/losing, at any age. The problem is the unfriendly/egotistical attitudes that many people nurture within themselves through competition. That's what needs to be discouraged.

So I disagree with the suggestion that a person who doesn't win much should be encouraged to do something else. That's part of the problem, as it tries to make a person believe that not winning somehow invalidates their interest, and invalidates their right to play. Which only reinforces the unfriendly belief that not winning is deserving of social exclusion.

 

[sbk1234]

no need for an adult to keep score, every kid out there will already be doing that - regardless of the league rules.

Actually the parents will be the ones keeping score and critisizing the children who aren't good athletes.

My son at age 7 was in a children's soccer league. The league didn't keep score. However the parents were vicious about it. I had to sit there listening to them insult and critisize my son who is a bad athlete, due to his ADHD, under developed fine and gross motor skills, autism, and a few other issues. The children only knew to make an issue of scorekeeping when their parents made a big deal out of it.
Because of his bad experiences with sports here, and in other situations, to this day at age 11, he wants nothing to do with it.

 

[Miss Chicken]

no need for an adult to keep score, every kid out there will already be doing that - regardless of the league rules.

Actually the parents will be the ones keeping score and critisizing the children who aren't good athletes.

My son at age 7 was in a children's soccer league. The league didn't keep score. However the parents were vicious about it. I had to sit there listening to them insult and critisize my son who is a bad athlete, due to his ADHD, under developed fine and gross motor skills, autism, and a few other issues. The children only knew to make an issue of scorekeeping when their parents made a big deal out of it.
Because of his bad experiences with sports here, and in other situations, to this day at age 11, he wants nothing to do with it.

I was once at my son's sports carnival. It was decided that every child had to go in a relay race. My son (who has cerebral palsy) was put on a team and the other children complained bitterly because having Marcus on their team meant that they didn't have a chance of winning. They complained in front of Marcus and you could see it upset him.

Their team came last.

Later on my son was in an individual race and my son came last. He ran around to me and said 'I came last Mum but it doesn't matter because I know I ran faster than the wind, I could feel it behind me".

I think my son had the best attitude to life out of all the children I mentioned.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ That's the best story I've heard in this Thread.

Personally, I think there should be only one trophy, and it should be based on objective, rather than relative, criteria; in other words, there should always be the possibility of nobody getting an award. That way, the maximum number of children will be discouraged from participating in sports and competition and will then hopefully get involved in writing or art or music or something.

 

[Miss Chicken]

For years after, if my son became disheartened because he had trouble doing something, I would say to him "Remember Marcus, you can run faster than the wind".

 

[sbk1234]

^^^I'm glad your son had enough self pride and inner strength to come out feeling good about himself. Generally speaking, children can be brutal and vicious. Unfortunately, I've seen sports used as a release for such cruelty too often.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

When I was a kid, I got participation ribbons. The trophies I got, I won. So I am generally okay with the notion of giving out something to show you participated, while also giving more substantial awards to the best. People who want youth sports to be some kind of cutthroat enterprise where the winners are lavished with praise and awards and losers are berated and humiliated have some serious issues to work out.

 

[RJDiogenes]

For years after, if my son became disheartened because he had trouble doing something, I would say to him "Remember Marcus, you can run faster than the wind".

Just goes to show, coming in first isn't what makes you the winner.

 

[Aurian]

Marcus is a superhero

 

[lady_trekkie_10]

i remember as a kid in my schools "field days" (when everyone went outside and competed in a bunch of different games, relays and sports), the ground would be littered with those "participation" ribbons after the day had ended. the only ribbon people ever kept was 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Marcus kept kept his participation ribbons because they were the only ribbons he ever got. As did my son Adam - despite the fact that Adam did get other ribbons because he went to a special school and was more able than many of the other children. My son Daniel didn't keep them because he was reasonably good at sports and often won or placed.

 

[ToddKent]

Participation trophies make the adults feel good because they think they are building self-esteem in the kids. The kids know they are getting the booby prize and could care less about it.

This is the real answer. However let me address something that no one has mentioned yet: the benefits of losing.

I think that it is very important to teach children that sometimes they will try and fail... and that's ok. The world won't end.

In fact, I submit that children that participate in organized sports at a young age and lose might just be better equipped to handle the real world than their peers who effortlessly succeed. The so-called "losers" have learned that the world doesn't revolve around them and that it is ok to fail. This will give them skills to help them deal with the many setbacks that come with life.

 

[tharpdevenport]

The trophy, or win, is the reward you get for hard work and success. Let's not create an award just for the sake of rewarding and making people feel good. You should feel go when what you've done pays off.


I remember back in 2008 when a study showed students thought they should get a "B" for just showing up:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/18/education/18college.html?_r=3&emc=eta1


That reminds me of this trophy thing...