I was browsing on Youtube for some Asian stuff and stumbled across this. This might be useful to the ladies here. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf5mJ7aR2t8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf5mJ7aR2t8
Useful Fashion Fix'em Up.
- Thread starter The Castellan
- Start date
Interesting. Sounds plausible.
Wonder what Holdfast will have to say.
Wonder what Holdfast will have to say.
Brilliance! Why did I not think of this before?
Sorry, I was too distracted by the absolutely fabulous legs, pretty ankles and really stunning shoes...
Actually, it should work. Leather is essentially a pliable material once it's been processed. However one should be beware of two things:
Firstly, stretching leather almost inevitably results in weakening it, so the life of the shoes may be shortened. Secondly, and related to the above, the method she's using is a bit uncontrolled - it's tricky to calculate how much the water will expand, how much stretching will occur, and therefore how much potential damage you might cause and whether you'll overstretch them.
But if you have a pair of great shoes that you just don't wear anymore, then it's probably worth a shot. There are other ways of stretching shoes a 1/4 or 1/2 size too, including shoe stretchers, various liquids that soften the leather and other things. All of them run the same basic risk of overdoing things and so structurally weakening the leather. But if you're not going to wear the shoes otherwise, and don't think you'll get good eBay value out of them, then it's probably worth the risk. The more you try to stretch the leather, the higher the risk of damage.
Huh. Yes, it might work, though I suspect it would be only a temporary fix, and like Holdfast, I would worry about how controlled the expansion would be. Surely stretchers would be better, but on the other hand, they aren't free.
All that aside, though, the best idea is to never ever ever buy shoes that don't fit properly. Ever. Even if they're fabulous. Even if they are on sale. Even if they are fabulous and on sale. It's just not worth it.
Why yes, I am speaking from experience.
All that aside, though, the best idea is to never ever ever buy shoes that don't fit properly. Ever. Even if they're fabulous. Even if they are on sale. Even if they are fabulous and on sale. It's just not worth it.
Why yes, I am speaking from experience.
Listen to her, she speaks the truth!Been there, done that, bought the shoes, ebayed them.
Holdfast said:
Yes, we veterans of the shoe wars know alllllll about buyer's remorse, don't we?
The last time I did this - well, the last time I did this and spent real money - I was on a business trip that included a banquet, and I had forgotten to pack a pair of shoes to wear with the dress I was wearing to the banquet. So I bought these pretty shoes that matched the outfit nicely. They were a bit pricey but not too bad (a couple hundred bucks, I think) and they were very slightly uncomfortable but not bad at all, so I said to myself, it's a banquet, I'm going to be sitting down, so how bad could it be?
The answer: Agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down! It was as though those things were made of 30-grit sandpaper and also as though the manufacturer had thoughtfully included a couple of segments from a cholla cactus in the vamp. I had to kick them off the second I got my legs hidden under the tablecloth. Because they were agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down!
I tried to wear them one other time (to church, I think - I mean, you sit down there, too, for the most part). Agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down!
This was pre-eBay, so I just took them straight to the Salvation Army drop-box. I probably should have included a warning label, now that I think about it.
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So you're saying that if my gf buys some hot but hideously inexpensive shoes at www.snaz75.com and they're too small, doing this to them would explodify them?
At least explodification would get some geeky enjoyment if the prurient kind is not to be had.
At least explodification would get some geeky enjoyment if the prurient kind is not to be had.
^ Nice site.
No, they won't explodify. Well, probably not. Probably, you'd get just the small amount of stretching she needs. The point is, that it will potentially be a bit uncontrolled/unpredictable as to the actual result.
I shouldn't laugh. But I am. Consider it the chuckles of the equally damned.
My most recent tale of similar woe was was a pair of rather snazzy mustard-coloured suede boat shoes. The back of the shoe rubbed the back of my ankle a bit in the shop, but I figured, hey, it's suede, it's soft & fuzzy, it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me until the shoe stretches a little and breaks in.
After walking half a mile, I realised the angels were fallen and instead of wings, they were gradually roasting my heels over an open fire. Rubbed me raw, and I was actually bleeding! OK, I was also being exceptionally stupid and tried to wear them the first time with no socks on either. Not big. Not clever. Not conducive to happy feet.
I got them at a major discount and recouped about half of my price on eBay and frankly, I was just happy to ship those cursed items out of my house.
No, they won't explodify. Well, probably not. Probably, you'd get just the small amount of stretching she needs. The point is, that it will potentially be a bit uncontrolled/unpredictable as to the actual result.
Holdfast said:
Yes, we veterans of the shoe wars know alllllll about buyer's remorse, don't we?
The last time I did this - well, the last time I did this and spent real money - I was on a business trip that included a banquet, and I had forgotten to pack a pair of shoes to wear with the dress I was wearing to the banquet. So I bought these pretty shoes that matched the outfit nicely. They were a bit pricey but not too bad (a couple hundred bucks, I think) and they were very slightly uncomfortable but not bad at all, so I said to myself, it's a banquet, I'm going to be sitting down, so how bad could it be?
The answer: Agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down! It was as though those things were made of 30-grit sandpaper and also as though the manufacturer had thoughtfully included a couple of segments from a cholla cactus in the vamp. I had to kick them off the second I got my legs hidden under the tablecloth. Because they were agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down!
I tried to wear them one other time (to church, I think - I mean, you sit down there too, for the most part). Agony! Torment! Even when I was sitting down!
This was pre-eBay, so I just took them straight to the Salvation Army drop-box. I probably should have included a warning label, now that I think about it.
I shouldn't laugh. But I am. Consider it the chuckles of the equally damned.
My most recent tale of similar woe was was a pair of rather snazzy mustard-coloured suede boat shoes. The back of the shoe rubbed the back of my ankle a bit in the shop, but I figured, hey, it's suede, it's soft & fuzzy, it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me until the shoe stretches a little and breaks in.
After walking half a mile, I realised the angels were fallen and instead of wings, they were gradually roasting my heels over an open fire. Rubbed me raw, and I was actually bleeding! OK, I was also being exceptionally stupid and tried to wear them the first time with no socks on either. Not big. Not clever. Not conducive to happy feet.
I got them at a major discount and recouped about half of my price on eBay and frankly, I was just happy to ship those cursed items out of my house.
Holdfast, your story jarred a memory of the suffering of another. The item has lobng sold so the original listing is gone. Here's a slightly cleaned up version of the tale of a medieval reinactor who made his own footwear and what went wrong when he did.
The moral of the story? Boot Butter ain't butter.
Behold:
BOOTS OF PAIN! (Formerly Ebay item 5549346158)
Boots Handmade by An Idiot
By Lord Gustav Jameson
(taken verbatim from his eBay listing for the boots, slightly edited for grammar)
The story:
After a soggy wet Lilies War last year, I decided that it would be good to have new pair of boots. I wanted boots I could fight in, that would last a long time.
So I bought some 9-10 ounce natural tan leather, the same stuff you might make armor from, and set out to make myself a pair of boots. I got the boots done, and they were too tight.
So my buddy Aidon and I went to the local leather shop to try and find some sort of leather lotion or softener. The guy sold me some stuff called ‘saddle butter.’ He said it would make them all soft and comfy and they would break in well.
"Just use a heat gun to warm them up and paint this stuff on them."
Great! So I went home.
Now, I don’t have a heat gun; so I fired up the kitchen oven to warm up the boots. I took glops of this saddle butter and rubbed it into the boots. The smell was very familiar, but did not register with me right at first.
All done! The boots are very soft and floppy. So I put them out on the counter to dry.
I came back 30 minutes later and they were hard as a rock. I looked at the label on the saddle butter: "Ingredients: Beeswax, carnauba wax, paraffin wax…"
Just great! I just cuir bouilli’d* my boots! So now not only are they still too tight, they are hard as a bleepin’ rock.
I tried to force them on with a shoehorn. I tried greasing my feet with vegetable oil. I could barely get them on, but they were so tight they hurt. I tried walking around the block a few times to see if that helped, but to no avail.
So I called my Dad. Dad said to mix equal parts of rubbing alcohol and water, rub the mixture inside the boots and put them on. That would stretch them out to fit. So I mixed up the boot stretch cocktail and, being a little impatient, I rubbed it all over the boots inside and out. Then I shoehorned them back on.
I got about five steps before the sensation of burning, fiery agony reached my lizard brain. Unknown to me at that point, I had rubbed a blister open on the top of my fourth toe in the attempt to stretch them out using vegetable oil. Now the alcohol was hitting open nerves!
Screaming in agony, I dropped to the floor and tried to pull the boots of pain off my feet. They wouldn’t give. They stretched just enough to get a real good suction and weren’t going anywhere. My buddy Aidon was there for this entire ordeal, but he couldn’t help me because he was incapacitated with laughter.
"Get them off! Get them off!" I screamed.
He grabbed my right foot and pulled on the boot. He pulled hard enough that he pulled me down the hallway of my house. My shirt rolled up and the carpet put a long red burn across the small of my back. He still couldn’t get the boot off, so he tried to put his foot on something to lend leverage so he could pull harder. Unfortunately, the item he chose to brace against was my groin.
So now I’ve got a 300-pound dude standing on my family jewels while my foot is on fire. Suddenly the boot came free. Aidon went sprawling backward and I was just glad he wasn't standing on my plums anymore.
Then I heard that telltale, dull thud. The sort of dull thud that drywall makes when a 300-pound dude knocks a hole in it the size of his back. I looked up. Aidon is still holding the boot, and sitting in the hole he created in my wall.
O-Kay… Here’s the deal.
This auction is for this particular pair of cursed SCA boots of pain. I’m never making another pair of these again. I’m not in the business of selling boots. I just want these gone.
I wear a size 11 Wide (EEEE). And they fit really tight. Someone who is a size 10.5 could probably break them in.
9-10 oz natural tan leather.
Dyed Oxblood Red
Cuir Bouilli’d and distressed with alcohol
Crepe sole
I’ll ship them UPS, unless you live in Calontir** and want to meet me at an event for handoff.
(You might be interested to know that those boots of pain of Gustav's finally sold for $256 - heaven alone knows why!)
* Cuir Boulli is an ancient technique in which heated leather is saturated with wax so that it absorbs the wax. The wax displaces the air and natural oils in the leather and replaces them. The resulting material is stiff as a board and very resistant to slashes and punctures from swords, spears, knives and arrows. The rank and file Roman legionaries wore cuir boulli armor and the process was used in Dark Ages and High Chivalric cultures until rolling mills made production of sheet steel for armor plate feasible and affordable.
** The Kingdom of Calontir is one of the Society’s kingdoms in North America. It takes in the states of Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska; and NW Arkansas.
The moral of the story? Boot Butter ain't butter.
Behold:
BOOTS OF PAIN! (Formerly Ebay item 5549346158)
Boots Handmade by An Idiot
By Lord Gustav Jameson
(taken verbatim from his eBay listing for the boots, slightly edited for grammar)
The story:
After a soggy wet Lilies War last year, I decided that it would be good to have new pair of boots. I wanted boots I could fight in, that would last a long time.
So I bought some 9-10 ounce natural tan leather, the same stuff you might make armor from, and set out to make myself a pair of boots. I got the boots done, and they were too tight.
So my buddy Aidon and I went to the local leather shop to try and find some sort of leather lotion or softener. The guy sold me some stuff called ‘saddle butter.’ He said it would make them all soft and comfy and they would break in well.
"Just use a heat gun to warm them up and paint this stuff on them."
Great! So I went home.
Now, I don’t have a heat gun; so I fired up the kitchen oven to warm up the boots. I took glops of this saddle butter and rubbed it into the boots. The smell was very familiar, but did not register with me right at first.
All done! The boots are very soft and floppy. So I put them out on the counter to dry.
I came back 30 minutes later and they were hard as a rock. I looked at the label on the saddle butter: "Ingredients: Beeswax, carnauba wax, paraffin wax…"
Just great! I just cuir bouilli’d* my boots! So now not only are they still too tight, they are hard as a bleepin’ rock.
I tried to force them on with a shoehorn. I tried greasing my feet with vegetable oil. I could barely get them on, but they were so tight they hurt. I tried walking around the block a few times to see if that helped, but to no avail.
So I called my Dad. Dad said to mix equal parts of rubbing alcohol and water, rub the mixture inside the boots and put them on. That would stretch them out to fit. So I mixed up the boot stretch cocktail and, being a little impatient, I rubbed it all over the boots inside and out. Then I shoehorned them back on.
I got about five steps before the sensation of burning, fiery agony reached my lizard brain. Unknown to me at that point, I had rubbed a blister open on the top of my fourth toe in the attempt to stretch them out using vegetable oil. Now the alcohol was hitting open nerves!
Screaming in agony, I dropped to the floor and tried to pull the boots of pain off my feet. They wouldn’t give. They stretched just enough to get a real good suction and weren’t going anywhere. My buddy Aidon was there for this entire ordeal, but he couldn’t help me because he was incapacitated with laughter.
"Get them off! Get them off!" I screamed.
He grabbed my right foot and pulled on the boot. He pulled hard enough that he pulled me down the hallway of my house. My shirt rolled up and the carpet put a long red burn across the small of my back. He still couldn’t get the boot off, so he tried to put his foot on something to lend leverage so he could pull harder. Unfortunately, the item he chose to brace against was my groin.
So now I’ve got a 300-pound dude standing on my family jewels while my foot is on fire. Suddenly the boot came free. Aidon went sprawling backward and I was just glad he wasn't standing on my plums anymore.
Then I heard that telltale, dull thud. The sort of dull thud that drywall makes when a 300-pound dude knocks a hole in it the size of his back. I looked up. Aidon is still holding the boot, and sitting in the hole he created in my wall.
O-Kay… Here’s the deal.
This auction is for this particular pair of cursed SCA boots of pain. I’m never making another pair of these again. I’m not in the business of selling boots. I just want these gone.
I wear a size 11 Wide (EEEE). And they fit really tight. Someone who is a size 10.5 could probably break them in.
9-10 oz natural tan leather.
Dyed Oxblood Red
Cuir Bouilli’d and distressed with alcohol
Crepe sole
I’ll ship them UPS, unless you live in Calontir** and want to meet me at an event for handoff.
(You might be interested to know that those boots of pain of Gustav's finally sold for $256 - heaven alone knows why!)
* Cuir Boulli is an ancient technique in which heated leather is saturated with wax so that it absorbs the wax. The wax displaces the air and natural oils in the leather and replaces them. The resulting material is stiff as a board and very resistant to slashes and punctures from swords, spears, knives and arrows. The rank and file Roman legionaries wore cuir boulli armor and the process was used in Dark Ages and High Chivalric cultures until rolling mills made production of sheet steel for armor plate feasible and affordable.
** The Kingdom of Calontir is one of the Society’s kingdoms in North America. It takes in the states of Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska; and NW Arkansas.
"it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me" -
"cursed boots of pain" -
At least the horrible useless things are good for a laugh (several laughs, in my case - both those quotes just CRACK me up!) if not for wearing on your feet.
"cursed boots of pain" -
At least the horrible useless things are good for a laugh (several laughs, in my case - both those quotes just CRACK me up!) if not for wearing on your feet.
Boy, this thread sure went from one direction to another. XD
Oh, I don't think so. We're still talking about painful shoes. Really, really, really, really painful shoes.
We're even still talking about "fashion fix 'em ups," assuming "Get rid of the horrible things! Quickly!" counts as a fix-'em-up.
I confess, Castellan, that in all likelihood, none of the horrible shoes mentioned in this thread would have been helped by your shoes-in-the-freezer trick, though.
We're even still talking about "fashion fix 'em ups," assuming "Get rid of the horrible things! Quickly!" counts as a fix-'em-up.
I confess, Castellan, that in all likelihood, none of the horrible shoes mentioned in this thread would have been helped by your shoes-in-the-freezer trick, though.
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"it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me" -
I'm so happy my pain amuses you.
I think that makes us even.
I found that video oddly hot.
I found that video oddly hot.
Nothing odd about that. Welcome to my world.
"it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me" -
I'm so happy my pain amuses you.
I think that makes us even.
No, it isn't your pain that amuses me - watching you limping and bleeding wouldn't give me a chuckle. It is the masterful way you describe it.
Yeah, that's it.
"it'll be like the caress of little leather angels rubbing their wings over me" -
I'm so happy my pain amuses you.
I think that makes us even.
No, it isn't your pain that amuses me - watching you limping and bleeding wouldn't give me a chuckle. It is the masterful way you describe it.
Yeah, that's it.
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