Worried about your pets after the Rapture? These guys can help!

[RoJoHen]

In any case, if said rapture really occurred, that would automatically make all the Athiests believers

But they don't believe in it to start with... so they wouldn't believe it even if they saw it.

If I saw the Rapture actually happening, I'm pretty sure I would start believing in it.

But it's not going to happen, so I'm not gonna worry about it.

 

[SmoothieX]

But I want my puppy to go to Heaven.

 

[RoJoHen]

But I want my puppy to go to Heaven.

I have been told that all dogs go to Heaven, but I'm not sure it was from a reliable source.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Pet rocks, selling naming rights to stars... anything left for us to hitch our trailers to and count the money?

Bottles of dehydrated water?

 

[RJDiogenes]

A Heaven without Pets just isn't worth it. I'll stay here.

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^^ I thought the majority of us where planning to have a good time in the City of Dis.

 

[RJDiogenes]

As long as we get to have Pets.

 

[Ohappydagger]

I will take kitties, and I will also accept small house plants.

 

[Joshua Howard]

But it's not going to happen, so I'm not gonna worry about it.

...Fair enough, but what are you going to do if you wake up the day after Christmas in 2012 to find that half of us are suddenly gone?

My advice: upgrade to a nicer house/apartment in a once heavily evangelical neighborhood. Just think of the bargains to be offered by desperate property management firms!

 

[RoJoHen]

But it's not going to happen, so I'm not gonna worry about it.

...Fair enough, but what are you going to do if you wake up the day after Christmas in 2012 to find that half of us are suddenly gone?

The majority of my friends are atheists/agnostics, and the ones that aren't I can live without, so I'd honestly be okay.

We wouldn't have to worry about overpopulation for a while.

Lots of room to play!

 

[Miss Chicken]

I think if there is a Rapture only 2-6 people worldwide will reach God's high standard and be taken up. Because so few will go missing no-one will realise that the Rapture has taken place.

 

[Joshua Howard]

^ Along those basic lines, one of my favorite jokes:

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.

The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand it..."

God sighed. "Let's be honest Teresa," He said, "...for just two people, it doesn't pay to cook."

 

[Locutus of Bored]

 

[Gepard]

Poor Peaches.

 

[Mark de Vries]

Fair enough. But humans need things around them to be entertained (clouds, harps, wings). So why not pets?

I'm not so sure a lot of them see heaven as a place to be entertained so much as a place for eternal communion with their creator.

To me that doesn't sound very fun, but... *shrugs*

I know, I'm one of them. But aside from all the theological reasons against it, I'd like my heaven with pets, please.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Why is Peaches sad? Peaches should be happy to be left behind. Because that means, y'know, being not dead.

 

[Miss Chicken]

As long as we get to have Pets.

As all cats are little heathens who only worship themselves I am sure that they will all end up in the City of Dis. Not sure about dogs.

 

[RJDiogenes]

That's cool. I'm a Cat person.

 

[MarianLH]

Why do they require atheists? Wouldn't pagans, buddhists, or melvinists be left behind as well?


Marian

 

[JuanBolio]

Why do they require atheists? Wouldn't pagans, buddhists, or melvinists be left behind as well?


Marian

Just in case God is more inclusive than the Bible lets on. Atheists are pretty much the only absolutely certain no-goes. Perhaps Satanists, too, but I get the feelings not many Christians would trust a Satanist with their pet.