Movie Caption Contest #113: Schooled

[Rat Boy]

If you were any other man I'd kill you where you stand, but that can wait because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's jab painstiks into...

For proving that even holograms are into slash fic, our winner is...

Guy in the back: Can't wait to see the make-up sex between the two of them.

It's the emoticon that sells it. For showing that one shouldn't interrupt a Klingon during his "me time," our winner is...

Worf: "Ah... peace and quiet... I love coming out here cos there's no one who-"
Borg: "Hello sir, have you ever thought about letting Jesus Christ into your life?"
Worf: "FUCK IT!"

For questions best left unanswered, our winner is...

Picard: "Let me guess--Cooleddie?"
Worf: "Don't ask."

For why I shouldn't mention personal information on the Trek BBS, our winner is...

Worf: "Rat Boy has rat children? His reproduction rights MUST be revoked!"

To clarify, I've been watching my cousin's kids while she's been on vacation for the past week. Think of it like the Bernie Mac Show, only I'm white, not famous, and not dead. Finally, our Photoshop winner that involves a Spaceballs reference not of the screen gag or Tuvok he still hasn't found shit...

Borg: You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it.

Congratulations to the winners and here's the scoreboard (hey, I'm not on the bottom anymore!):

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 52
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 51
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 44
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 31
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 24
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 22
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 17
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
scottydog 14
LeadHead 13
Skywalker 13
Alrik 12
Nebusj 12
DS9Sega 11
zephramc 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kirby 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
captain crow 6
TheGallifreyanSith 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
Daneel 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Mistral 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Deranged Nasat 4
Starpaul20 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
USS Bones 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1

Well, as I've been learning over the past week, school is clearly back in session, but it seems to me like no sooner do you settle down during the day you have to go fight traffic to pick them up again. And I thought drivers in Los Angeles were psychotic. Anyway, our first pic is of perhaps the look on Chris Pine's face when he attends his first convention only to be peppered with questions as to whether or not Hills star Audrina Partridge's boobs are real. And for our last pic, Kirstie Alley wonders if she's better off taking that job offer from a little television show called Cheers. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (thinking): What a gorgeous man!

Saavik (thinking): By the obsolete Vulcan gods, what a package! A shame there aren't two of them.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kirk: ""The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."

**crickets**

Kirk "Thanks alot folks...i'll be here all week".

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: ""The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."

**crickets**

Kirk "Thanks alot folks...i'll be here all week".

Saavik (to the audience): "You see what I have to deal with?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I'm going to be."

Saavik: "He's behind me isn't he?"
Carla Tortelli offscreen: "One day, you'll be so fat, the whole planet will be behind you!"

 

[Mistral]

Kirstie(staring at Craft cart): "One doughnut can't hurt, can it?"

 

[zephramc]

Lt. Saavik was the latest victim of James T. Kirk's new hidden camera, practical joke show, P0wnd.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Saavik: "You're all my bitches now, and that fat, badling, cover-bun wearing ..... he's right behind me, isn't he?"

 

[scottydog]

Young Kirk to the crowd: "In case you were wondering, yes, my acne appears on other parts of my body, too."

< Kirk turns around to display his assless chaps >

Kirk: "Very good, Lieutenant Saavik, you may turn around now, but in the future be sure that your assless chaps are starfleet regulation. The Cheers tattoo has got to go."

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk (thinking): "...had my ass kicked three times already in this movie... I'll win the next one for sure..."
*spots Dwayne Johnson in the corner*
"...FUCK IT!"

Kirk (wafting the air): "Do NOT go in there... pppppeeeeeewwwwwwwww"

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "My God! Why is large-Uhura attacking tiny-Sulu!?!"
Saavik: "Gods... do I have to give the small-far away speech to him again?"
Sulu: "Tiny?"
Uhura: "LARGE?!?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"For the official record, Commander Spock...I did NOT make out with Lindsay Lohan off the set."

KIRK:"What smells like burnt ham and seaweed in here?"

SAAVIK(*gulping in embarrassment and closing legs*)

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"My father was a hero who died saving 800 lives, Commander Spock.

Unlike yours...who apparently has done nothing better than inseminate a human schoolteacher and learn how to pluck his eyebrows in a straight line."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

KIRK:(babbling in back ground)

SAAVIK: "Who or what is this jenny craig he speaks of?"

 

[John Picard]

<thinking> Spock is such a douche.

KIRK:"There's a problem in engineering."

Crewman: "Engineering? What is it?"

KIRK: "It's the part of the ship with the engines and a reactor that makes us go, but that's not important..."

SAAVIK: "Fucking human dipshits."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Captain Ricky: "The away party will consist of myself, Spock, Doctor McCoy and Ensign Kirk."

Kirk: "Aww crap."

Kirk: "Lieutenant... I'm laughing at the superior dieting technique."

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: Damn... she's hot. Maybe I ought to rethink this whole celibacy-is-the-fastest-way-to-starship-captaincy I thought up back home...

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Has anyone seen my girdle? I'm thinking Ship's Laundry got my stuff mixed with someone else's."

 

[BriGuy]

Kirk: Alright, I want to know which one of you cadets ate the last of the cinnamon rolls from this morning's pre-simulator training meeting, and I want to know NOW!

Saavik: ... damn...