I only date fundamentalist Wiccans.
Mixed race/culture/religion relationships
- Thread starter Ruaidhri
- Start date
I'm white, raised Jewish, the daughter of a rocket scientist. Hubby is Hispanic, raised Catholic, born in Mexico whse family moved to Fresno, CA to work the fields. His parents had a 6th grade education at most. Big difference in background.
We met at work, aerospace (Hubby's Bachelor's was in biochemistry). I was nearly disowned because he wasn't Jewish. Mom now thinks that Hubby would be "perfect" if he were Jewish, but says he's pretty close.
What it takes to make it work is for both of you to be strong enough to say, "This is my life. I love you Mom and Dad, but I'm not going to be sleeping next to you for the rest of my life. I've met someone who is right for ME and I'm not going to walk away from him/her to please someone else."
If things get bad (do what I say or else you're out of the family), the family must be told that such action is THEIR decision. You are not walking out of their lives, they are throwing you out. It is on their heads.
I told my parents to not try to make me choose; they would not like my choice. I was their daughter and wanted to remain so.
They came around. Most parents do. The ones that don't...move far far away from them. They forgot or don't care) that you have a brain of your own and are not a mere extension of their lives.
We met at work, aerospace (Hubby's Bachelor's was in biochemistry). I was nearly disowned because he wasn't Jewish. Mom now thinks that Hubby would be "perfect" if he were Jewish, but says he's pretty close.
What it takes to make it work is for both of you to be strong enough to say, "This is my life. I love you Mom and Dad, but I'm not going to be sleeping next to you for the rest of my life. I've met someone who is right for ME and I'm not going to walk away from him/her to please someone else."
If things get bad (do what I say or else you're out of the family), the family must be told that such action is THEIR decision. You are not walking out of their lives, they are throwing you out. It is on their heads.
I told my parents to not try to make me choose; they would not like my choice. I was their daughter and wanted to remain so.
They came around. Most parents do. The ones that don't...move far far away from them. They forgot or don't care) that you have a brain of your own and are not a mere extension of their lives.
Good luck with that!
I know my family will be okay. We're a pretty tolerant bunch all things considered. I just want to minimize the impact on my girlfriend as much as possible. It's going to be hard on her...and I want to bear the brunt of it.
I have no problems dating other races, though I know certain members of my family (mostly distant) would have trouble with certain peoples.
You can't cut culture or family out, of course (well, in extreme cases) but I think the family members will just have to deal with it, and if they won't associate with me because my husband is a different race- their loss. As long as you support your mate, they'll have to learn to see beyond race, religion, culture... or they can discriminate and huddle together and grouse over it. Their call.
You can't cut culture or family out, of course (well, in extreme cases) but I think the family members will just have to deal with it, and if they won't associate with me because my husband is a different race- their loss. As long as you support your mate, they'll have to learn to see beyond race, religion, culture... or they can discriminate and huddle together and grouse over it. Their call.
You won't bear the brunt of it. She will. She's the daughter. All you can do is be supportive. You can't experience the pain for her. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can. Families can be terrific at emotional blackmail; daughters in fundamentalist families are in the most vulnerable position. Far more than sons.
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