I'm so sad I could vomit

[RoJoHen]

Holy crap, I never thought moving would turn out to be so traumatizing. I spent the whole 2.5 drive yesterday choking back tears as I drove farther and farther away from the place that had been my home for the last 6 years. My best friends are all there. My godchildren are there.

I got to my new apartment yesterday afternoon and was basically a zombie the rest of the day, trying not think about how permanent a change I had just made.

I woke up early today in my new place, thinking that a good night's sleep would help, but it didn't. I went shopping for some basic essentials, and the whole time I was in my car I couldn't stop crying.

Moving was supposed to be a good thing! I wanted to get out of that other town, and I wanted a new job. I finally got both of those things, but I am still so sad. I'm even nauseous. I just want to close my eyes and take it all back.

I was certainly expecting to feel sad about leaving, but this is overwhelming, almost debilitating. I've been gone less than 24 hours! I shouldn't be this sad. I just really hope this passes because right now I feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life.

 

[Brutal Strudel]

How far away have you moved?

(The funny answer, of course, would be "the next town over.")

Seriously, though, how far away--in temporal and/or spatial terms--are you from your old life?

 

[RoJoHen]

I pretty much moved from one side of the state to the other. It's about a 2.5 hour drive. It's not terrible, and I should be able to visit often enough (I hope), but it's still kind of jarring. I lived with my best friend for 3 years out there, and the last year we got our own places, but we were still in the same apartment complex (about a 2 minute walk away from each other).


I think a big thing might be that I never really got to say goodbye to anybody. My moving plans happened rather suddenly, and all of my friends already had other things going on, so I didn't get to see anyone before I left. I need to give my best friend a hug, dammit!

 

[Brutal Strudel]

Schedule a time you can make it back to your home town and throw yourself a belated going away party. Try to do it within the next month.

 

[RoJoHen]

That's definitely my plan. I still have some random things to wrap up there, and it's just not Halloween without being drunk with my friends. I'm not entirely sure what my new work schedule is going to be like, but I hope I can make it out there for Halloween. It would be really depressing if I'm stuck here that night.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

At least it's close enough you can still visit regularly, if you feel so inclined. It's not the end of the world!

 

[Brutal Strudel]

Also, it's perfectly natural to feel sad, panicked and depressed after a move--a move is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can have, believe it or not. Let the pain pass over you and through you, then turn your inner eye to see pain's path. Where there was pain there will be nothing. Only you will remain.

( )

 

[RoJoHen]

The only thing that makes visiting troublesome is my cat. She has a tendency to pee on things when I'm gone for too long.

 

[Brutal Strudel]

Can you board her? I know they do it for dogs, I figure cats would be even easier.

 

[Lindley]

Once you build up a little money, you could learn to fly. A 2.5 hour trip by car becomes a 1 hour trip, or less, by air.

 

[RoJoHen]

Can you board her? I know they do it for dogs, I figure cats would be even easier.

Probably. I don't know.

Once you build up a little money, you could learn to fly. A 2.5 hour trip by car becomes a 1 hour trip, or less, by air.

That's probably never going to happen.

 

[CaptainStoner]

It seems like you were expecting the change to do something for you. But a move itself is just a move. A rather empty thing, moving objects.

But what was it about this town and this job that was so compelling? Did you just move for the sake of moving? Or is there something the town and job have to offer, a forward movement in your life you couldn't get in the old place?

At any rate, you haven't made a mistake. You seem to be searching, and maybe not sure at this point what you're searching for. But you had the skill and nerve to make the journey that some never do. As Joseph Campbell said, "follow your bliss". This move didn't produce the effect you expected, but it's just a move. You've changed all the small things, and the scenery, but what was the real purpose? What are you about? What are you doing?
Maybe a new town is just the place to find that. Good luck with it all.

 

[RoJoHen]

It seems like you were expecting the change to do something for you. But a move itself is just a move. A rather empty thing, moving objects.

But what was it about this town and this job that was so compelling? Did you just move for the sake of moving? Or is there something the town and job have to offer, a forward movement in your life you couldn't get in the old place?

At any rate, you haven't made a mistake. You seem to be searching, and maybe not sure at this point what you're searching for. But you had the skill and nerve to make the journey that some never do. As Joseph Campbell said, "follow your bliss". This move didn't produce the effect you expected, but it's just a move. You've changed all the small things, and the scenery, but what was the real purpose? What are you about? What are you doing?
Maybe a new town is just the place to find that. Good luck with it all.

I moved here for a job, a job that really wasn't available where I was living before. I actually grew up near this area before I went off to college, but it hasn't been home for me for a very long time.

Right now I'm not upset about the move, rather that I'm not near my friends anymore. I guess I just didn't realize how much they meant to me until now. I would sometimes go 3-4 weeks without seeing them anyway, but I was always comforted knowing that they were right down the road if I needed them.

It's an adjustment, and as a general rule I despise change. But I needed a new job, and hopefully once I actually start working (not until next week, unfortunately), I will be able to put some of this past me.

 

[Brutal Strudel]

So, really, you're just going through a perfectly normal phase. Don't worry about it.

 

[RoJoHen]

So, really, you're just going through a perfectly normal phase. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, I'm sure it's normal. It's just never happened to me before.

I never get this emotional about anything. It's a bit of a shock.

 

[CaptainStoner]

As long as the job was something you wanted as well as needed, I think you're on the "right" track. And, the connection with the area you grew up in may prove to be significant in the months to come.

When you start the new job, don't forget to tell your co-workers that you are an Admiral on TrekBBS. It's good to start with an air of respect.

 

[RoJoHen]

As long as the job was something you wanted as well as needed, I think you're on the "right" track. And, the connection with the area you grew up in may prove to be significant in the months to come.

Yeah, it was a job I wanted...or at least a first step in getting the job (or, dare I say "career") I want.

I did love my old job, though, and they loved me. My boss told me he has no intention of actually terminating me in case I ever decide I need to come back.

When you start the new job, don't forget to tell your co-workers that you are an Admiral on TrekBBS. It's good to start with an air of respect.

I'm gonna get it monogrammed on my shirt.

 

[CaptainStoner]

^ might as well show up in uniform. It's your first day, after all.

 

[Holdfast]

Give it a bit of time RoJo. If it doesn't work out after a month or three, it's not like the decision is irreversible. In the meantime, I suspect once you get to know a few people & settle into the job, you'll feel better. Good luck to you dude.

 

[Lindley]

Do you have any childhood friends in the area you could look up?

once I actually start working (not until next week, unfortunately)

When you said you'd have a week's downtime after the move in another thread, I thought it might be a bad idea but didn't say anything. It's always good to jump right into things after a big change, I find.