TOS Caption Contest #142: It's a Spock, Spock, Spock, Spock World

[Tribble]

Spock: "Discerning the true Captain shall be easy. Gentlemen, if you would be so kind to turn around?"

What has been seen can't be unseen--holds even for Vulcans..

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "The Contest Waiting Room Channel is fascinating. Grignak and Conway Twitty are spitting high-end cognac in each other's mouths."
McCoy: "And Running Spock?"
Spock: "... has an unexplained limp. I think he's mocking me."

Spock, mentally: "Carl! Come in, Carl. The buy is a set-up. I repeat, the buy is a set-up. Scotty is the narc ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Even after five years, Chapel always bought the "I have a headache" excuse from Spock.

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock (inner eyelids and earlids slamming shut): ...
Scotty: Chuck E. Cheese, with a horde of screaming,
squirrely munchkins?! Are ye daft, man?
McCoy: Not a chance, Jim - not even if you paid me.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "I'm sensing nobody gives a shit..."

Spock: "Doctor, need I remind you it is pon far again, and that it is always expected of one to KNOCK before entering..."

Kirk 1: "No, I'm Kirk!"
Kirk 2: "No, the one on the left is the impostor!"
Spock: "Well, it appears this yelling back and forth is getting us no where, gentlemen. The only logical comclusion to to compare identifiable body marks."
Kirk 1: "Like what?"
Spock: "Please pull down your pants and remove your boxers."
Kirk 2: "Okay, I gues -- wait a minute! You're Carl Spock, aren't you?!"
Kirk 1: Pulls his pants back up, "Nice try, pervert."
Spock: "Believe me when I say I can fork you with my penis, gentlemen ... now drop 'em."

 

[S'kai]

Sort of anticipated already, but anyhow:

In a last desperate attempt to locate his car keys, Spock attempted to mind-meld with himself.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "T'Pring wants to friend me on Facebook."

McCoy: "BLOCK!"

 

[NTRPRZ]

McCoy: Well, I'm done upstairs. Miss Kitty wants to know who's next.

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "Gentlemen, I hate to tell you this, but there was a worm in that tequila when you two started."

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "... I don't believe in God."

Scott: "Well God believes in you."

McCoy: "Still don't believe in God."

Scott: "Doctor, God now 'believes' that your car is on fire."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Fascinating. My calculations indicate that the football hitting Marcia Brady's nose could easily have been avoided."

 

[scottydog]

"First socks.... then shoes."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"First socks.... then shoes."

"Pants: one leg at a time."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

"First socks.... then shoes."

"Pants: one leg at a time."

Spock: Fasten. Then zip. Wait... Starfleet uniforms don't have zippers.

 

[Isis]

Pointy-eared hobgoblin (to himself): "The catch here is I'm not the real Spock. Hmmm...should I do eeny, meeny, miny, mo, or should I just flip a coin?"

 

[DrBob]

The Vulcan national anthem has to be farted nonstop for hours on end, or untill somebody passes out.

 

[Triskelion]

Lt Kevin Reiley: Gotta run!
Spock: Forget....

Spock: Stop pressuring me.
Kirk Two: Who's he talking to?
Kirk One: He gets this way when he stands too close to a magnetic field.

Scotty: Jameson...1978...slutty waitress swigged it once for mouthwash.
McCoy: That's amazing, Scotty. How do you know?
Spock: He knows, Doctor. He knows.

Have you found the plot point yet Spock?
Negative, Doctor. Perhaps you should talk about retiring in three days.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: I dinnae think it could get much worse. Chekov's dead--
McCoy: Now now, that part ain't so bad.
Scotty: Aye, but Wyatt Earp is being played by Kevin Costner.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Carl's Simple Rules: If the hand touches the glasses. Its time to kick some asses.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Watch, gentlemen, as I make my eyebrows look like a pair of women's breasts."